Why do I miss someone who mistreated me?

[Anonymous]

I was in a long term situation with a guy I've come to understand is narcissistic. He and I started off supposedly in a relationship. However, he started being inconsistent and ghosting me. This went on for 3 years. Whenever I confronted him I was gaslighted and made to think it was something that I was doing wrong. I would believe him and question my sanity. Eventually, I got help and began to see his true colors. Later, I also learned he was in a relationship with a younger woman whom he flaunted about town.

Yet, as of today I am missing him again and how things were in the love bombming stage. He has reached out to me several times as I left him without explanation and suddenly. I am trying to maintain no contact.

I suppose I wonder why do I still have feelings for him and when will it end. I'm also a bit jealous of his now fiance. I stupidly visited her social media where she's posting all the designer luxury gifts he's bought her. It makes me again question myself. Maybe I was the problem in our relationship and maybe he has changed for her?

[Em1980]

I've been in your shoes and was with a narristist. It is so horrible and difficult and I really know just how shit this situation is. Shaking off the love bombing is the worst. Just know he is doing things to prove that he is awesome with her and it is all a show and over time that mask will slip and he will treat her just as bad, if not worse! You are doing the right thing in NC, he just wants to see if he still has power and control over you. Realise all the social media is fake and bs- I bet you were with him he needed to parade you around too whilst mistreating you behind closed doors, when you realise this you see how shallow and pathetic they actually are. Love and hope to you xx

[emperor90]

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