How to get him to forgive me?

[Anonymous]

Ok so there was a rumor going around about my guy friend messing around with all the girls that he had eye contact with and first I didn’t wanna believe it, but most of the guys at the workplace kept bringing it up and said I was next on his list.

And apparently he likes me but I found out when it was too late. One of his buddies brought up a girl my friend flirted with at a gas station and I called him a h**. I didn’t want anyone knowing I liked him back cause I saw how everyone was already teasing him for having crushes on 2 other girls who worked there before me.

But comes to find out he’s really nervous around girls and he has 2 other crushes besides me cause he’s indecisive on us.

His friend told me he was really hurt when I called him that. And I’m trying to find a way to apologize cause I was heated in the moment and thought he was playing me like what another guy had done to me in the past.

I remember after I called him a h**, he said something like “Well if you think of me that way then we can’t be together.” But at the time I didn’t think he meant it that way. I just wanted everyone to leave me alone about him.

And I never understood why would people warn me about him if isn’t true. But comes to find out they wanted to ruin our friendship cause they didn’t like seeing him talking or being near me.

And I feel really bad and don’t know how to explain everything to him cause he’s been avoiding me. I just wanna own up to my mistake but he doesn’t wanna talk to me now.

Updates

+1 y

I tried my best to ignore what they were saying about him, but it happened constantly to the point where I snapped and I should’ve told him what was going on but I didn’t know how to tell him.

At first I thought people were warning me as a good thing but they just wanted to see both him and me suffer, especially him for I don't know what reason.

Updates

+1 y

But also, the thing about my friend is that when he has a crush on a girl, he’s so quick to tell his friends about it because he’s excited, but all they basically did was tell other people and that’s what got them talking and making up stuff about him. And I found out when it was too late.

[Anonymous]

I would just let time do it’s thing and eventually this will blow over. In the meantime, try not to be so hard on yourself. You weren’t entirely wrong about what he is, but in the future I would be mindful of what you say to his friend (s) because their loyalty is to him and he will always hear what you say about him, no matter how big or small. Regardless, maybe it’s good that this is happening. You don’t want the guy who has a crush on several coworkers, flirts around and all that. He probably saw you as a conquest and once he got you then he would discard you how he does the other women and you would be yet another coworker he finessed. That’s embarrassing in my opinion. Better to find a guy outside of work who’s reputation isn’t going to scar yours.

[Asker]

Oh yeah, and I forgot to mention that I have a male cousin who my friend hangs out with too, and even he (my cousin) said that our friend likes me. And I have another question that I wonder about too. So say if he is just playing/using me, why would my own family tell me his interest in me if they knew about his other crushes? I asked my cousin and he said he’s just nervous and indecisive but I feel like he might be covering for him but I’m not sure what to believe anymore

[Opinion Owner]

He may very well be interested in you, but not for the right reasons. People don’t just gain reputations out of the blue, and what you don’t want to do is write off the things you’ve heard as simple cases of jealousy, just because your cousin said this guy likes you. Your cousin may like this dude as a person, but that doesn’t mean he would make a good partner, not just for you but for everyone. Especially if he has his sights set on other women in the same workplace. That’s just flat out toxic and there are just far too many fish in the sea.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you're going to have to own your social error unless you can engineer an opportunity to talk to him again, 121. Then you could get him talking and say that you remember insulting him last time and that you regret it because you didn't mean it. He may say he doesn't remember but you can nevertheless say that you do, so consider this your apology. Then move the conversation on.

[In_Trance]

good luck with that