Did my boyfriend just cheat on me?

Question

*So we met over the internet and it’s an app called Hiki. It is an autistic dating and social app, and we met, hit it off then moved states together. It’s been 7 months now *

Now…. I check the app just to see if he is active on it and I noticed a change in his age. He made his age younger than it really is and that is a very recent update because I had taken screenshots earlier in the relationship before we met, just because I thought he had looked handsome and it said 33 but now it says 32 (How do you suddenly become younger in the new year)

I checked this also a month ago ( it said 33) but I never said anything or accused him of anything.
The reason why is because he had told me he had deleted the app but I had secretly felt suspicious of that.
I believe it might be my intuition.

*He had even bought me so many things yesterday and I think it might be out of guilt. * I expect us to be open about things , like I am to him about any connections I am making.

You think I should call it quits and just move out because cheaters are liars anyway …
or
talk to him about it? ( even if I feel uncomfortable about doing so like it feels a bit stalky… I must admit )

Updates

+1 y

This guy is 35 in February by the way

Updates

+1 y

Well appearently he opened the lock on my door after I was ignoring him after the break up text I sent , and I was telling him to leave me alone , we were fighting over the door then he showed me his phone , installed the app and logged into his account , told me it was a glitch , and then I saw that it was, it mistakenly showed two ages on the profiles in the settings and the front. Then he gave me his phone and made me go through it after he slid it under the door.

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

Well honestly in most cases and especially early on in a relationship when you catch a person misrepresenting themselves or basically lying about something as trivial as their age... its an indicator of there are other possible lies or clearly there will be more lies to come. For every lie you catch there are probably 3 to 5 more you haven caught yet or may never catch at all.

For me lying about anything no matter how trivial it may seem is a HUGE RED FLAG !!! No I am not about just giving people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to lying about anything. I trust but verify everything. In my mind if you will lie (about anything) then you would cheat and steal from me as well.

Now with the dating app thing, I been in relationships that seemed to be going pretty well. Then all of the sudden I sensed a change in something logged back in to the app and see they have been active fairly recently. Over the course of a few days their activity indicator stayed green or yellow... which meant they were logging in at least once every hour to be green, or once everyday to stay yellow. Both times I experienced this I brought it to their attention. They both reacted very negatively and start accusing me of obsessing and stalking. That was all I needed to know, relationship over, ended and done. I just walked away no questions asked. Now when it happens I say nothing and just start planning my way out of the relationship, honestly if they are in a happy relationship why do they need to be logging in at all to the app? There is no good excuse that I would accept, because I only followed up on it because I was feeling a certain to start with.

On the long distance thing... well I dated two other women and my current girlfriend that had long standing long distance relationships and all three eventually moved out to live with or be closure to the man... yup sure enough within a matter of months if not days they quickly figured out he was not the guy that they thought, believed or hoped he would be. Its so easy for anyone to lead another to believe they are who they say they are when they don't have to deal with you on a first hand bases for more than short stints at a time.

So I hate to be a huge downer... but it appears that you are feeling a certain way about how things are going with this guy. I STRONGLY encourage you to trust your instincts and cut your losses and get out of that situation. If you are not feeling it is heading in the right way. At NO PIONT blame yourself or make allowances or exceptions for this person. It is not your fault that they made and acted on their own choices... and in the end it just means you two are not the right match for each other and the is no one to blame for that. You took a chance for love, and gambled... but if you choose to stay despite all the indications... then yeah when and if it turns out bad you have to do some honest self reflection on yourself.

I wish you the very best and I am sorry this guy is generating anxiety in your life. It absolutely is not supposed to be like when two people meet and just vide.

ohshee · Accepted Answer

Two things
First thing is I would say that you read him like a book and you already know what the real deal is you just don't want to accept that answer yet but you will.

The other thing is and not to back his play or anything Parsippany happens to a guy when they're in their 30s from from 32 or 33 I'm not sure LOL but I'm either a year behind her you're over when people ask me my age I got into a little hassle with somebody one time because they were trying to tell me that I was thirty-two when I was really 33 and then she got a piece of paper out go down my birthday and we added everything and yes she was right I was wrong but to this day I still don't know if I'm 46 or 47 LOL because I really don't care and I'm too lazy to add it up that's because I just don't care it's not a big deal to me

As for your question confront him or not it's your choice but you already know the real answer but you don't let your heart broken so you don't want to ask during a catch-22 type thing you're damned if you do you're damned if you don't so it's your choice on how long you want to go through this I don't think you're ever going to have a problem finding a boyfriend that's for sure

Daniela1982 · Accepted Answer

Ain't gonna get no where unless you talk to him about it. You may be completely wrong. However, the fact that he is still on the app and using it smells fishy. You are going to have to bite your tongue and ask him and hope he won't lie. Does he have any reason to be dissatisfied with you, such as with sex? If so counseling might help. How come you are an explorer but this is the first time I have seen you ask a question?

CanineAcronym · Accepted Answer

Try to talk to him about it. If you feel uncomfortable communicating with each other your relationship isn't on track either way. Also, if you just leave bim he might not realize why you did, which would be pretty sad

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I think you need to have a conversation with him about your suspicions.

JDAC2209199 · Answer

I'd say it's likely he went back on it if you have physical proof and it's definitely his account however why could be unclear to be honest, he could be trying to just delete his profile and can't work it out, however most people who do that black out their photo and leave it at that I don't know. Depending on how well you know him speak to him and say you won't be mad as that'll reassure him maybe enough to tell you what he was doing or if he even was at all, it could also illuminate the answer for you if you can tell when he's lying. Like not the exact answer but confirmation at the very least if he's telling the truth or not. Sorry I don't know how much help this is, just a few ideas to try to get him to open up if he isn't doing so already.

AviatorTom · Answer

If a one year difference in what someone says there age is, is important to you, then go ahead and dump him. I don't see where that's any indication he cheated on you.

Your very specific black-and-white standards will limit your happiness in life. Why not consider some items as shades of gray; a simple one-year age difference is not that important.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

With all these age changes, it would make you wonder about things
you are a gorgeous young lady and any man who cheats on you
should pay for his wrongdoing, this is totally wrong yes he could
have cheated on you

lightbulb27 · Answer

sounds like over reaction, communicate. definitely a lack of trust going on.  the dating apps should be turned off for sure.

RobT312 · Answer

I’d talk to him, especially if you guys are both happy. Relationships are built on communication and trust. if he did do something, then There’s reason to move on.

DiegoO · Answer

Him cheating or not is irrelevant. The real questions is: do you trust him?  Can you trust him? Do he trust you? With not much trust, a relationship can not work, or be sustainable in the long run.

VikingWarLord · Answer

Monogamy is NOT natural.  Sit down with him and read the book "SEX AT DAWN" by Cacilda Jetha and Christopher Ryan. You'll realize you've been lied to your whole gawdam life

steveRogers12 · Answer

Are you accusing him of cheating because he still had a profile up when he said he didn't? And if he shifted his age by a couple of years it's not a big deal. Would be more of a concern if he was 35 and said he was 18

Lynx122 · Answer

I wish I could meet someone on there but where I live there's too few people on the app so it's not very useful.

LikeALog · Answer

Thanks for the invitation. I see you decided to break up. I think it's a good decision. Best of luck with your new boyfriend.

Caunsos · Answer

There is a break of trust. Clearly lied about his age and leaving the app. It a shame be you are ever lovely someone on the spectrum. Most girls i have met on the spectrum do not put a lot of effort in to there appearance.

Dchrls78104 · Answer

If you don't trust him, talk to him about it or dump him (especially if you talked and he didn't listen to you). If you do trust him, stay and be happy. The choice is yours.

awkward_author · Answer

I think you should talk to him about it, especially considering the app can be used for general socializing as well.

cookiecrusher · Answer

That's really not enaugh data to go on. Apps do strange shit sometimes, i know, i have developed a few. Would be best just to talk to him about your concerns and see his reaction.

Anonymous · Answer

I think you should first talk about it with him before breaking up. Let him explain his side of the story. Maybe there is an reasonable explanation for it.

NateTbo · Answer

Well it is a bit stalky. Your obviously crazy about him. Try talking it out!

Gb-Fan · Answer

7 months and moved states. Yikes. You are 20 and he is pretty much 35. I can’t see it working.

Cowboy6666 · Answer

Well if the problem is sort out then why you have invited me to this question 🤔

ChefPapiChulo · Answer

why are you dating such an old dude is the question.

Did my boyfriend just cheat on me?

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