Why didn't he want to say goodbye?

[medanne]

We never had a relationship, but we - and everyone else - knew that there was something going on between us. We both had feelings at some point, I know for a fact that I had feelings until the very end - I had to move away from the city.

When I tried to say goodbye, I REALLY tried - texted him to meet, etc - but he put some excuse and avoided saying goodbye.

Why? There was never an argument and we were theoretically friends. I'm hurt and I don't understand.

[caring__1]

Good byes are painful. Some people avoid them to hold onto their belief and hope that the separation will be something short-term, not long-term. Identify what you are looking for from him long-term. Was this just something convenient, or was it long-term meaningful? To help him see this from the proper perspective, clearly share your thoughts... don't just keep him hanging or talk in vague generalities.

You focus on your hurt, as if he intentionally wronged or hurt you. You are the one leaving, not him. Find a way to see it from his perspective. Never make it all about you. Maybe he doesn't want to feel like he's holding you back or getting in the way of your hopes and dreams. Maybe he never felt he had a chance to be more than a temporary friend. His pending loss may have prevented him from facing you... not knowing whether he could let you go if you were right in front of him, even if your happiness is the most important thing to him.

[caring__1]

Another thing to consider is the fact that when we think back, our first and strongest memory tends to be the last one. When we face an open casket in a funeral, every time we think of that person again, we'll picture them laying in the casket. He wants to remember you alive and happy, not crying and miserable.

[medanne]

He literally went out of his way to NOT say goodbye, and ofc it hurts because he gave the impression that he doesn't care at all if I leave or if I stay. I'm not leaving the city forever, I might come back soon and he knows

[caring__1]

Rather than be critical of him and putting him on the defensive, send him an email sharing all the things you'll be missing about him and how you look forward to reconnecting in the future. Don't assume his goal is to hurt you, even if you are hurting.

[SurströmmingLover]

If I compare this situation to a similar one that occurred to me, I reacted like this because this goodbye would cause depression, because I knew that I'd never see her again. It would be so painful, that I decided not to meet again and just remember the last time we had fun together. I guess that it might be a similar reaction by his side. Trust me, these situations are more painful for men than women might think.

[Fireguy17]

Some people have a hard time saying goodbye, he maybe upset that you moved away, or he is just rude.
Pretty had to be definitive without talking to him.
He is the only one that knows.

[medanne]

Thank you...

[UdontNeedtoknow]

He is hurt and trying to move on by eliminating you from his life. He knows he can't have you and can never think of you as a friend. That is painful, so he is just eliminating the source of that pain.

[James899]

May be it hurts him. To say a good bye.. Good bye is something which is very hard to tell.

[Jamie05rhs]

What's there to say? You're leaving.

[medanne]

I wouldn't have made it dramatic, I just wanted some closure from someone who I feel I've been close to

[Jamie05rhs]

Okay