How do you interpret this text? Do you say goodbye or try to talk?

[Cottr1]

I ‘ve been in an on & off friends with benefits relationship with a guy for 3 years. We haven’t slept together in 2 years, but we’ll pop up occasionally & talk or flirt.

For 1.5 years, I’ve been dating a guy. I’ve been debating on breaking it off though. The friends with benefits guy has been dating a girl for a little bit. We both know the other is dating someone.

Recently, we started talking again. The flirting went too far, we had to stop & ask what we were doing. He asked if it would be a relief if he didn’t talk with me again so I could enjoy my relationship. I told him no, I didn’t want that - he didn’t either. But, I told him I had been thinking why I could never say no to him & confessed over vid that I realized I have these deep feelings for him that I never acknowledged. That it was only fair to tell him & to be honest. He responded with -

“I don’t think you should feel embarrassed one bit. That was just bold and sweet. As you literally always are. However I was unaware of all this…. and I’m hurt. I feel poorly for treating your heart the way I have. For not reading between the lines. And for putting you and your feelings in the position I have. I’m not sure what to do now. Neither of us are in a position to pursue something obviously. Nor do I want to hurt you more then I have by being intimate with you only to run in to another dead end. I don’t want you to feel more conflicted or add more thoughts to your head to make it spin faster:( I’ve honestly never shown you the good side of me and I don't know why you feel how you do. Just another example of how gracious you are. But after watching these all multiple times, I am a bit ashamed and feel like for your sake I should leave you be and be jealous from afar. Because of course I have a huge soft (and hard) spot for you or I wouldn’t always end up back here. I just feel like I am at a loss now. I’m just so sorry.”

Do I say goodbye? Try to talk? I don’t know what this means, I feel there are mixed emotions.

[Guy13]

I can only assume that someone here is married.

No wonder you like this guy as he is one smooth character... as he takes your "demand" for commitment and says NO WAY. Obviously he's educated as he assumes all the blame, responsibility, and a "great loss" for why you can not have that commitment. Got to be in Sales.
Summation: No on commitment but I still want to get laid... and I need a hole... so I'll take responsibility for her not getting all of me but at same time professing a physical attraction to her. I'm committed to your hole (s)

[Cottr1]

Neither one of us are married. I’ve been dating a guy for 1.5 years and he’s been with a girl for two months. He’s also not in sales.
Is he really staying committed to my “holes” when he is saying he’ll leave me be and be jealous from afar?

[Guy13]

Yes, he wants or desires your physicality but does not want the emotional component. You’re weird…usually Emotion first equals great sex for women. What happened on the front end that filled that component? I can also understand if the answer is Martinis 🍸 🍸🍸🍸🍸

[SladeTannon]

He's leaving it up to you. He doesn't want to be with you romantically, or at least doesn't want to leave his current relationship to be. But he also doesn't want to feel guilty for playing with your emotions when he doesn't feel the same. If you think that's the right decision, you should say goodbye. If you really want to try and be with him romantically, be honest and tell him you want to see if it will work, . and make him be the one to choose. If you think you can handle being just friends with benefits even with your feelings, then tell him you're a big girl and can handle the emotions on your end but still want to see him. Even if he never sees you the same.

[In_Trance]

let it go