What can't you stand in a relationship?

Question

Brainsbeforebeauty · Accepted Answer

Whew, that could be a Mytake answer lololol But the main things I wouldn't stand for in a relationship would be:

Dishonesty-contrary to "popular belief on GAG" some women do want honesty, and not to be told lies, and can handle the truth, I'd rather live with a hurtful truth then live a life of lies...
No communication- if you can't properly communicate issues, how can they ever get resolved. And properly communicating means talking vs yelling or ranting, listening as well as talking..
Doesn't take responsibility- we all make mistakes.. In life, in our relationships. But then we have to take responsibility, own our mistakes, and do what it takes to fix our mistakes, learn from them and try our hardest not to repeat them. But, someone who spends their whole life putting the blame on everyone else instead of ever admitting their own accountability, own their own mistakes... The "I'll own up to mine,you own up to yours"..
Someone who treats you like they're smarter or better than you
Someone who expects you to be there for them, whether it's lending them an ear when they need to vent, a shoulder to cry on, helping them out when they're in a jam, etc but never does the same for you...
Someone that discredits anything you say just because you're a female...

Someone that can't be faithful and stay committed to me and to our relationship...
There's probably more, but those are the most important ones to me...

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

I'm just going to make a list here because there are so many little things that can make a relationship unbearable if your partner says or does certain things.

In no particular order:

Lack of trust
Lack of communication
Making assumptions/being presumptuous
Comparing you to their exes (good or bad, don't do it!)
Talking down to me or treating me like a child
Playing mindgames and not saying what's bothering him (ie: saying, "I'm fine" when he's clearly not)
Being too clingy/needy. I need my space, and I make sure to give a guy his space and "me time" as well

Along with others, but those are just the main ones off the top of my head.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

A lack of substantive communication. If she has an issue, I expect her to tell me about it, DIRECTLY and not just drop hints or circle around it and make me spend half an hour extracting it from her. Stuff happens in life, and people make mistakes, but most things can be handled and resolved, but not if I don't know about them, or if she lies about or avoids the subject. That just builds confusion and resentment and makes the problem far worse.

The other thing is disloyalty. Relationships are like a team, and the team should always present a united front to outsiders, and both people should work to better the situation of the team. Loyalty is everything. Without loyalty, there is no trust, and therefore, there can't be a continuing relationship.

ARWINGx1 · Accepted Answer

Being controlled in any shape or form.

Doing so unintentionally would indeed "damage" the relationship on my end. But can be saved if the partner-in-question doesn't do it too often.

If it really WAS intentional, even *once* is enough to make it go from 100 to 0 (or even from a high number, to negative 0) in an instant.
(By intentionally, I meant things like "I don't care if you don't want to <do something that the partner would want> or not! We're doing it!")

Sonorous · Answer

I don't know 🤔  Maybe because my girl would be so hot that my knees would suffer from permanent weakness

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I can't tolerate a woman who treats me as if I am not intelligent.

chulo1992 · Answer

When I was in relationship many many years ago, what I couldn't stand was I had to see her even when I didn't want to. I wanted more days to be by myself but that could not be. I also couldn't stand that there were times when I did not want to have sex and also it felt like it was a chore. The last thing I couldn't stand was hearing about her kids and what they had going on for the day. I could care less. And one day I could not hold back and I blurted out " I DON'T CARE!!!" I feel bad that I did that but I really couldn't take it anymore.

Dchrls78104 · Answer

If I were in a relationship, I couldn't bear:
1. Cheating, dishonesty, or lack of transparency.
2. Any abusive speech or action including the use of profanity.
3. Issues that drag on or fester instead of being settled.
4. Unilateral decisions being made on certain topics (like having children; and abortion is a dealbreaker for me).
5. The sight of a thong, a tattoo, or a body piercing.
6. Any third party (including family!) interference or involvement in the relationship.
7. A nagging wife.

DenizLikesTennis · Answer

1. Lack of Trust

2. Comparing with other men or with ex-boyfriend

3. Being superficial (only looks matter)

4. Possessing a negative Mindset aka all men are the same, everything is bad.

5. Making drama over things that doesn't matter (for example: Why I have bought a red towel and not a blue one)

6. Boring Conversations

petitedollbabee · Answer

Poor hygiene, gaslighting, being unfaithful, poor communication, lack of trust, comparing me to their exes, over clingy; I don’t mind someone who’s clingy but I need at least 1 or 2 days a week to myself, financially unstable; if they’re drowning in debt and they spend all their money on the wrong things like drugs or luxuries that they can’t afford, eventually they will rely on me for income, and I’m not dating someone to be their sugar mama.

ObscuredBeyond · Answer

Stashing behaviors, lies, cheating, she's never sorry, I'm somehow always the bad guy, everyone automatically takes her side no matter what...

A woman is supposed to buid her man up, and he build her up in return. If all she does is tear him down and turn everyone against him, she's a bad partner.

Guy13 · Answer

Stupid and flabby arms. I was a summer worker in my grandparents’ farm. The big black ladies who worked the line were very friendly. They always liked to hug. BUT they traumatized me. If there’s gone South arms, triceps then I might start shaking even crying, frozen, and maybe screaming NO...

Megarielle · Answer

When they don't reciprocate...
- when I am open about who I am, but it's like pulling teeth to find out what's going on in his life.
-when I try to do little things to make him smile or brighten his day, but I go unnoticed, or worse... get yelled at for trying.
- when he is unwilling to participate in my joy or my sorrow, but I'm always the first to celebrate his accomplishments or commiserate with him over the obstacles.

Etcetera etcetera etcetera.

saturnianqueen · Answer

Controlling behavior, clingyness, expecting me to cook or clean for him just because I’m a woman instead of being a responsible adult and doing it himself.

I’ve definitely not dealt with this type of man. Thank god. But it’s a major dealbreaker and I’d end it immediately if he had that attitude.

HaveNoName · Answer

I never imagined it would be so difficult to answer a question like this. Being in a marriage, you don't think this way... unless its a toxic marriage.

Having said that, and in light of the above, there will always be habits of your significant that get on your nerves. Tolerance and patience is key to having a peaceful marriage. We always need to remember and realize that you yourself also have habits that others don't like.

SilverBri · Answer

When the guy tries to act all manly in the relationship like he got to take control of everything. I like having a guy rely on me for some things, I want to feel useful too.

MJtheCoach · Answer

Girls are too much!! They’re only tolerable when they’re new. They get extremely annoying don’t let a guy sleep in peace. Always some Bs jealously issues always wanna start a drama. And they wanna talk about everything 24 hours a day.

In a woman world they wanna whine all the time.
No solution to any problems just wanna complain and as a guy you have to just let them nag you to death.

Saarr · Answer

I can't handle being treated like I'm dumb/a child. I want to be taken seriously. I also can't handle it if my partner cares too much about opinions of other people to even hold hands or kiss or something (and shame me because I don't care).

ArrowheadSW · Answer

If it gets to the point of "walking on eggshells"... Like you don't know what is going to set the person off next. I have not had that happen all that much but I don't like it when it happens.

TransAm85 · Answer

Controlling, mental/emotional abuse, alcoholic, and narcissistic tendencies. I think a lot boils down to insecurities/childhood trauma and they drag their significant other along for the ride. It's not fun.

MCheetah · Answer

Women:
"*My* money is for me! YOUR money is for *us*/the kids/the household."

I've never even been married before and this pisses me off. Just one reason of many why I don't want to get married anymore.

Lonewulf57 · Answer

Separation. Isolation. The lack of communication.

Because your relationship is on the rocks, and while you still have strong feelings for them, you'd rather distance yourself rather than open your mouth and make it worse.

Srij23 · Answer

In my opinion you should fight like cat and dogs and shout at each other and it's a healthy thing to do because you should not and never should keep negetive feelings bottled up. As long as you end up together nothing matters really and you will and he will understand. So go beserk on your soul mate and get things done 👍

CarolineW · Answer

Guys who think that I'm their property, and I have to do what they say. Get lost, losers.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Not having an emotional connection or it for some reason breaking. Also someone that is placid. i need someone I can emotionally connect to and bounce off each other as equals.

Adam1978 · Answer

Them deciding something over my head that influence or affect me. I should always be in the loop regarding these things doesn't matter how small they are.

RedStiletto88 · Answer

Someone who lies, being clingy / needy, irresponsiblility, being a slob and expecting me to always clean up after them , someone with no ambition..

motownplayer2000 · Answer

No effort or enthusiasm. Lack of common sense or a sense of independence, can’t start or carry a conversation/hard to talk too. Thinks that they need to be chased all the time. List is about that long.

Sincerly_KittyCat · Answer

Not doing what you're expected to do in the relationship would be THE most annoying thing... ever.

TrueConfection · Answer

Drama, passive aggressiveness, yelling, violence, or self loathing. Not necessarily in that order.

Anonymous · Answer

Babygirl, what's wrong?  "Nothing." Come on, you can tell me. "No, that's ok." Two days later... "How come you're never concerned with my problems? You never listen to me."

Alyssa_11 · Answer

Someone who lies. Even if it’s the smallest things. Why do you feel the need to lie to me?

grega239 · Answer

I've noticed several double standards in my past relationships. I had female friends therefore im cheating. But her having male friends is ok and nothing to be suspicious over. Shit like that

IMuser · Answer

Comparison: i refuse to be with a woman who will compare me to her friends/exes

Bluemax · Answer

Cruelty (which I have managed to avoid) Lack of attraction

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

Someone with no goals, not trying to improve their life in any way.

mstbooblover · Answer

Lies, distrust, jealousy. These are the first things popping up into my mind.

jshm2 · Answer

The relationship.  Don't let that live in your head rent free, deary.

Twalli · Answer

Sex being used as leverage or a bargaining chip. I made sure I can't get a girl pregnant, so when we have sex it should be because it feels good and we enjoy it

Moose304 · Answer

Lies and drama, do either and I WILL show you the door!

skyeee_ · Answer

unfaithfulness, dominating/retarded behaviour in general, cheating

AnthonyJ01 · Answer

Lying, deceit, cheaters, theft. I had to deal with all those in my last relationship. That made it really hard to trust, so I have not let anyone close since.

AdithyaR · Answer

Cheating Gaslighting Making fun of your partner's hobbies or passions

Djaay · Answer

The absolute worst is ; When a persons actions and words dont ever meet equally.

Juxtapose · Answer

A lack of communication. Talk to me directly because I'm not a fucking mind reader.

Bubbles16 · Answer

I could never be with someone who's insanely serious and never laughs because i like to laugh

Valso · Answer

The desire to control what I'm gonna wear, who I'm gonna talk to or meet with and unfaithfulness.

ACR130 · Answer

1.) Drama 2.) The nicknames 3.) Food dates 4.) Shopping with your partner 5.) Seeing their parents

TsAubreyKate · Answer

Pretending not to notice when she farts but when I do it’s some federal case she has to let the whole world know

Cowboy6666 · Answer

Closed minded and racist girls, rude and cruel, not listening, cheating and lying, being abusive.

Minahh · Answer

Abusive behavior, feeling pressured, cheating and lies.

Shiningtempest · Answer

No shared interest, zero compatible political & religious views, & no shared lifestyle

Agape93 · Answer

Jealousy or controlling behavior

Account · Answer

Lack of empathy and superiority complex.

DJB72 · Answer

Dishonesty. It's an absolute deal breaker

Secure12 · Answer

inconsistency and lies

MrCommodore · Answer

Her leaving the toilet seat down.

KatieB713 · Answer

Being talked down to like I'm stupid

England4eva · Answer

Lies. They exhaust me

Anonymous · Answer

Secretive and other toxic traits.

Citizenkirk · Answer

Dishonesty and paranoid behavior.

Kabluie · Answer

being disrespected in my own house

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Communication gaps / Woman who doesn't like PDA

FýrdracaDócincel · Answer

Fear of communication.

What can't you stand in a relationship?

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