Why don't people take relationships seriously anymore?

Question

I feel like back in the day, people used to date to eventually get married and have a family. These days I don't even know what dating means anymore. I do know that most (not all) people don't take it seriously. So many people want instant happiness and satisfaction, and they find that by hooking up. It's really sad.

#relationshipwoes
#microwavehappiness
#ShaTTeredQuestions

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

I will say that your views on dating are some what cynical, but in your defense my views of marriage are some what cynical as well. I have dated, and I have been married so I think I can justify my views because I know what makes me happy and what happiness is and means to me.

I never do well with women that seem to think they can not find true love and happiness with a man without marriage. I just disagree, because I found love and happiness without marriage, and I think everyone can if they approach every relationship with and open mind and open heart. I take dating seriously, but I only look for women that take it as seriously as I do. I never date a women with the intent of marriage. I find women that value their own freedom and independence, as highly as I do mine, very attractive. When you give love, emotional and physical support and open your heart to a women and they hold back or feel that they need more than that I move on. I am not looking for that type of relationship. Its not that I would not consider marriage, but I am not looking for it or want a women that feels she must have it in order to be happy.

I do not blame women for this, I blame a society that has completely redefined the concept of marriage... while at the some time people hold to these traditional beliefs that are not protect by the law. Bottom line being is that you as a person only retain 100% protection of the law over your assets, income and property outside of marriage. Once you get married you lose some of that freedom and protection that's just a fact. Unfortunately I have been with women who have betrayed that trust. I do not blame women but do blame those specific women. So on some level every women has to take some degree of responsibility for why we are at this intersection in society over marriage, just as much as I as a guy have take responsibility for the roles men have played. I don't like it, I don't think it always fair but its a reality. Women and men have done a lot of terrible things to their partners and marriage can be a jail ceil.

I have been through the spectrum of emotions over dating, marriage and divorce. I felt that women do not take it as seriously as they should and want or demand marriage with out really seriously considering the consequences and true depth of the commitment. They tend to want it for themselves, but I do no think they consider the true depth of sacrifices they will have to make along the way. When I came to realize that women do take dating it seriously without marriage, its just that I was looking or wanting to dating the wrong types of women. Once I took a serious step back and did some honest self reflection on myself did I start looking for and finding the right type of women... so it sounds to me that you should do the same.

Step back and do some self reflection and consider what it is you really need vs really want and why. Then make what ever chances you need to make about yourself to become the best version of yourself possible. Because I will promise you this... its not the men... its you. Once you realize what it is about you and you make those changes your whole perspective on live and dating will change.

I can not tell you exactly how or what it is you need to do, but once you figure it out I will promise you that you will find yourself being completely turned off by guys you would of dated 10 years ago, and completely turned on by men you would of discounted 10 years ago. An then the world will seem like a bigger place full of opportunities to you. You will stop chasing after failed relationship before they even get started.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Because people play victim their whole lives now. They seek love, get hurt, and then they give up. Of course they still need love and companionship so they seek relationships but nothing serious. That's what a lot of us do. We sit there and cry about our problems like someone is coming to save us. We sit there and never take any credit for the lack in our lives. We justify our mediocrity by blaming the world. @shatteredmasterpeace We cannot forgive the world. And when I say forgive and take responsibility people laugh at me. But if you go to all the successful people throughout history... They all say they same thing.

We all need to stop complaining and get it done. Period. We aren't entitled to a good life. We have to earn it. Period. It requires some growth... and sacrificing the lesser for the greater. I usually like to be a bit kinder in my comments but all I see is sexism on this site, blaming a whole gender for their problems. You or I might not be a bad person but we are the problem in our lives. She cheated on you? Sorry man you should have picked a girl with a keen sense of loyalty instead of picking someone based solely off of her looks and the way she made you feel initially. You have learned a lesson.

No guy is asking you out? Ask them out. We gotta stop playing the victim. Go get what you want. It is there for the picking. Is the world messed up? Yeah you bet it is. Don't let that stop you from getting what you want. Get it done. PERIOD. We waste our WHOLE lives complaining and fearing and not forgiving. The world isn't fair, I get it. I get it.
But time doesn't care! The world doesn't care! We better awake up. This isn't even about dating, it's about everything. The universe doesn't accept great excuses. Nope sorry.
Get it done. Period... Period. Stop caring and focusing on what's wrong and get it done.
The woe is me mentality; the victim mentality; the resistant mentality will get you nothing.

You wanna know what Lincoln said? Lincoln was treated like dirt. Read this:

"i remember a story i read where i think it was general McClellan he wanted him to do something

and mcclellan wouldn't come to see him so lincoln went to see McClellan and mcclellan wasn't there when he went so

he was asked to wait in the parlor so here's the president waiting for the general the general came in just looked

at him sitting there and walked right past him and went to bed and someone said doesn't it bother you

that they treat you this way and he said no he said i'll hold the general's coat if

it helps me win the war"

Thank goodness for this man. Get it done. Period.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Because there’s a surplus amount of people and anyone can cheat anytime anyday , with whoever at any give time, anywhere, with ease. All you need is a stick and a hole some privacy and 5 minutes. It’s extremely extremely easy to cheat. And 90% of the time you can just get away with it forever and ever. Not even your bestie will know if you don’t tell them.

If we were truly supposed to be monogamous, then maybe the act of copulation/reproduction aka. “Sex” . Should require more out of both involved male and female. BUT IT doesn't. In fact the shape of a males DI—K is for scooping out previous males seed from the inside of a woman. That’s why it’s a mushroom shape. That basically means that a woman is meant reproduce with 100 men in one night to maximize chances of better genes. Same reason a woman can have countless orgasms while a man cannot and the BANANA goes limp, a woman usually isn’t pleased with 1 encounter in 1 night. But they have to play it off as if they are.

Men on the other hand are meant to reproduce daily with a different woman every day. So that THEIR offspring are multiplied and not the babies of any other male.
ITS A COMPETITION OF GENETICS.
Once a woman is done birthing a child, she needs to find a different male to maximize chances of different better genes once again.
AKA. ITS A SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST
It’s also the same reason a male tends to ejaculate “cum” in extreme amounts when sharing a female with other males in a “gangbang”.
SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST.

In reality women are supposed to be having gangbangs. And men are supposed to be with a new female every day.

If we were practicing this type of natural polyamory. We’d have Spartans all over again. We’d have some Superman’s walking around. Some WonderWomans.
Because you’d be making the BEST GENE BEARING BABIES.

We’ve been so dumbed-down and manipulated and controlled, to believe that were supposed to be jailed next to one idiot for our entire lives. It’s BS ! It’s alll about keeping us under control, surveillance and governing our every move.

You may fact check me:
https://metro.co.uk/2018/08/13/penis-shaped-like-mushroom-7831438/amp/

https://observer.ug/lifestyle/54645-do-men-really-have-a-natural-instinct-to-cheat

Also it’s been studied that the more a woman has sex the more smarter she becomes. The more memory retention happens.

The more a man has sex with different females the better his semen becomes.

We aren’t even supposed to be eating meat. But we’ve been programmed to. Our own teeth tell us that we’re supposed to eat fruit and vegetables.

floralsunshine22 · Accepted Answer

First of all, I want to tell you I am so sorry for everything you've gone through. You were only 18 years old, I have daughters that age. Your mother seems to be forgetting she is not the victim here. Not at all. I understand she holds anger for your husband making remarks about wanting to kill her, but she isn't the one who has been abused. You have. Everything you wrote sounds like a victim of mental, physical, and domestic abuse. Your mother finding ways to twist and turn this around about her is very disrespectful.

She needs to respect your wishes on not bringing this matter up anymore. If your husband is of immediate danger to you, please call the police or make plans to safely leave. If you believe you are able to live under the same roof with him, make it clear to your mother to keep her opinions to herself. Regardless of what she thinks, this is not helping you. And also could be creating an even more dangerous situation for you. This has nothing to do about "loyalty". Your grandparents actually sound like very kind individuals who have tried to keep a situation calm in order to see their grand daughter and great grand child. Having your mother constantly go
rehashing the fact they continued contact with your husband has nothing to do with this. I do not get a vibe here at all they were trying to be sketchy, only try to smooth over an already terrible situation.

PTSD is tricky. Your mother was nothing but abusive in those texts, and I could feel your pain when asking her to stop. The brain works in different ways, and she has no clinical background to make statements such as "you live with him and see him everyday so it shouldn't be an issue if I mention his name". That is not how trauma or PTSD works. It is very clear you're distressed already living with this man, and you seem to only want to try to find some resolution to your stress. Tell your mother to stop talking about stressing subjects or bringing up your husband. It is none of her business if he takes him outdoors.

I highly suggest spending some time at your grandparents. They seem to be rational individuals and not victim blame, which is exactly what your mother did. You are so young and my heart breaks for you. God bless.

razelove · Answer

What are you talking about? I'm married with a family. I took my time to play the field and hook-up. When that got lonely and boring, I started dating to find someone to settle down with and have little ones. It took retraining myself and the women I was looking for to, you know, not just hook-up more.

After enough effort and time it paid off though. I do get you with not knowing what dating means. So, when we were dating we broke up at one point, I met another girl, I liked her, I still liked my wife, I said as much to both of them and said I didn't want to hurt them, and didn't know what to do. They talked, and we all wound up together. Been poly since, and it's a paradigm I'm still not 100% used to. Even if I meet another woman I love, and we're together for a long time, in the US it would be illegal to marry her as polygamy is illegal. Experimenting, women would rather get with me if I say I'm cheating rather than hey, my wife is cool with this.

It's all very confusing.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

Laziness- relationships take time/ work that people don't want to put into a relationshipSelfish- people only think of their wants and needs and not of their partner/potential partnerEntitled- people think they're entitled to whatever they want without doing anything to achieve or deserve it.. Social media/technology- is not only ruining existing relationships, it's changing what relationships even are. I've seen so many posts on here talking about their girlfriend or boyfriend, and it ends up being someone they've never actually even met in person... That seems more like long distance electronic pen pal than a relationship...

ManOnFire · Answer

For several reasons:

1. Today's generation thinks it's just easier to talk to people online than to actually try to meet and date.
2. But also because people today do try to just hookup or do online dating, which lessens and cheapens the value of really meeting someone for a concrete relationship.
3. Men are more interested in just meeting someone for sex, while the men who really want a relationship feel afraid of trying because of all the hos out there.
4. Women are more in love with themselves, in love with getting attention, and in love with their requirements for men to meet in order to date them than really being in love with a man. And a lot of women are looking for hookups no less than men.
5. Today's generation didn't have good upbringing and no good example of a strong relationship from their parents, so they have less of an incentive to really care about one of their own.
6. Cheating is so common nowadays that it has watered down the morality and strength of two people standing their ground and loving each other like they should.

crossdressingrihno · Answer

A lot of people are saying it's all about sex these days but I disagree quite frankly and I disagree a lot

I don't think it's purely about sex sure I believe sex has a big part to do with it but it's not the only part
On at least equal terms with sex is connection
Love and romance and the need for companionship are factors in relationships as well sure the idea of marriage is generally horrifying to most people these days but that's not because of love and things like that that's because of how the government has altered what a marriage is sure once upon a time that worked that was a functional way of doing it but this was at a time when women stayed at home and worked the kitchen and Men did all of the money earning but fact is we're not like that anymore and marriages can't remain as they are because the dynamic of the household has changed so dramatically that the traditional concepts of marriage just don't work anymore that's like trying to do an invasive surgery with a stone knife it worked back then because that's what they had but you wouldn't use a stone knife now on the operating table that would be absolutely mad

MCheetah · Answer

Women are the gatekeepers of sex and completely control Hookup Culture (which only benefits them and the top 5% Chads they choose), and have raised their standards so high, along with their unwarranted egos, it's made many men go MGTOW or just stop trying. No point in trying to date when every 3 out of 10 girl thinks she's a 9 and deserves a 10 out of 10 guy.

Of course, GOOD LUCK finding a woman out there to admit she's the sole reason she's single. No, it's literally everything and everyone else's fault though that she refuses to date guys under six feet or guys who don't have an Olympic Athlete's body and salary, and that she's still single with an endless supply of men in her inbox...

Although simp men share some blame, women are almost entirely why dating sucks nowadays. Cause we sure as hell know it's not like women ever chase after men or put themselves out there, only to be told they're 'inferior/femcels' for not being genetically superior enough for some shallow person's hookup criteria...

Why don't people take relationships seriously anymore?

TL;DR: Women only go after 10/10 Chads who aren't looking to commit, then bitch at all the normal decent men they rejected for women still being single.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm not going to blame all women, and I'm not going to blame the problem entirely on women, because men share some of the blame too. But, I will tell you where most men's heads are today, in my experience, with respect to relationships and marriage.

In the past, marriage was the goal for most, and relationships were essentially a steppingstone to marriage. For men, marriage is no longer the goal it once was because marriage doesn't offer men many of the benefits it used to, and frankly it's a lot more risky and costly than it ever was in the past. We have been bombarded with the message that marriage benefits men more than it does women, but the studies on which that claim was based were done with couples that were together for many years, and the marriage those men knew are very, very different than what marriage is today. Marriage was different and women were different.

Today, half of marriages end in divorce, women file the vast majority of those divorces, and men are still told they are the reason for that despite the fact that studies show otherwise. Men tend to get screwed in divorce court by a female-biased court system and they usually lose in child custody disputes. That's very unappealing to men and it's on all of our minds.

Add to all of that the fact that casual sex is the norm these days, so unlike in the past, marriage is not a requirement to have sex for many guys.

If you step back and take an objective look at all of that, is it really any surprise why men are not taking relationships seriously?

SlashedSunset · Answer

Well I don't know if that is true at least not so black and white in its reasoning I think there are quite a few guys who date seriously and yes who want to get married if they find the right person by doing that. I should know I am one of them.

Guys put themselves out there a lot and it doesn't always work out. I get it when a woman is looking for a potential partner she will have higher standards in that process as guys do as well. Maybe if one is finding they are dating people who don't take relationships too seriously they need to cast a wider net so to speak.

Guy is a bit overweight but he seems sweet and genuine give him a chance.
Girl has a political stance you might not agree with but seems nice and friendly give her a chance.
Guy doesn't take the best pictures but you find the details of his bio to be in line with your interests give him a chance.
Girl doesn't have the biggest boobs but her you feel the passion and joy she displays for her hobbies give her a chance.
Just some random examples but hopefully they illustrate my idea. The people who take relationships seriously might be closer then we think one just has to keep searching and work on being the best version of themselves as well.

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

Couple of reasons.

1. If divorced man is literally screwed emotionally and financially.

2. Men were always egoistic and had wanted to lead now that is challenged women are getting to men level of egoism and everybody is familiar with third wave of feminism.

3. Women are also looking for relationship they are valuing the freedom to have more body counts and are experimenting like threesomes foursome random sex with strangers its more about about quenching thirst and still having the freedom not necessarily wrong.

4. it was always expected from women to be the moral support and have the values which people were either forced or liked to have to have them the barrier is broken now they are wild now they are enjoying the liberty again not wrong but it comes at a cost.

5. over the years the notion of love has changed.

6. But still nothing is changing why? Bc instead of putting time and effort in one relationship they are investing it partly across the multiple people that inturn makes them more hurting and loose trust.

7. At the end of the day people are searching for physical intimacy rather than emotional content.
Physical intimacy can only take you so far but you can't guarantee that your emotional intimacy
Will make you full filled people are looking for way out something that bothers them and people don't have time nowadays over the years it has changed pressure is too much.

8. It's all about choices and consequences in the end you can choose anything you want

Finchie40 · Answer

Because social media destroyed peoples minds and ways of thinking , Every guy and girl is a cheater and can’t be trusted , if your partner does this , they are cheating on you if your partner treats you this way , they are talking behind your back etc. So many people live on their phones nowadays and fill their minds with nonsense not realizing social media is a money making market , it was designed to brainwash people to buy into shit , All the crap we read about relationships and cheating more than likely created by Lawyers to make money from divorces , the more people that cheat and divorce the more money lawyers make. People have become more selfish and mainly only really care about themselves , If everyone put their phones down and looked at the world around them they would realize that social media is a bunch of garbage but too many people are addicted so it’s a lost cause

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

I think culture plays a part.

where I am it’s always been a party city (rated best in UK 3rd in Europe etc) and we are all really friendly and love having fun.

This all means that from school age we are dating or hooking up randomly, just for fun and nothing serious.

There is a lot of one night stands and hookups, however a lot of these actually turn in to dates.

This tends to happen where you tap off with someone and then think, you know I actually like them for more than just sex. You then start dating and developing that emotional link with them. You hit it off and it becomes a relationship, or it does not.

I grew up where basically shagging around was socially accepted, there was no shame attributed to it.

Life is for having fun and also learning who you are actually compatible with, the type of person who would be long term commitment.

Changiis07 · Answer

It is sad. I find that social media has ruin a lot to be honest. Think about it.. men and women can now text each other and messages get deleted making it easier to cheat. No one likes calling anymore but we rely on texts and overthink everything. Back then people had to put effort into talking to someone like literally walk up to someone and ask for their number now you can scroll and if you like someone then bam follow each other and blah blah but trust me there are still good quality men and women. I presonally have found them at church and no not all will be good but some will

humpbackjack · Answer

Don’t let other peoples actions change who you are and don’t give up on finding your person maybe do some self reflection and reassess some things maybe stop paying attention to all the men or women out there and just be open to that one person that is waiting to meet you or for you to see them. There’s plenty of people out there with lots of different values just don’t shut that door and be willing to go get that person if you see them. We all complain about past relationships or people we’ve been meeting lately when really it’s our pickers are broken find a different gene pool don’t pick the same type and be upset when it blows up

Hairylegs222 · Answer

You can have a serious relationship without having kids, not everyone wants kids. Also some people are serious and don't get married. Getting married or not doesn't matter towards how you feel towards each other.

I know what you mean though. Some people simply don't want a serious relationship. It's frustrating how many people I've encountered in my life that doesn't care about having a serious relationship.

Some people choose that weird open relationship thing. Or only wants sex and never a relationship. Or has relationships with multiple partners. Than there's people that are incapable of having a serious relationship due to their poor qualities.

kinggeorge007 · Answer

It's okay and not okay at the same time.

I mean if you are looking for something temporary and physical intimacy, why bother or drag someone into a relationship and hurt their feelings in the process when you just can have what you want in short term flings.

In the other hand, yes it's sad that people have got lost in this whole chaos. Even for someone who is looking for something last long, it has become a real challenge to find someone who's into long term relationships.

Also the trust between people is all time low. Long term relationships are based in trust. When trust is lost, it becomes non existent.

lilyanony1 · Answer

Because noone has respect for each other anymore.
There was a time when people accepted chivalry as an sign of respect.
Not a sign of power dominance and control.
There was a time when housework was seen as a job and not just a hobby.

When people were houseproud and took care in maintaining it together. (set roles or playing to each others strengths)

Basically the couples that lasted and made their marriages work and were actually happy. Were the ones that had good communication with each other, made rules that worked for them, loved each other, and had a team mentality.

Unfortunately we live in a world where we allow outside influences to determine how we live our lives.
I'm not entirely sure anyone can be happy or satisfied that way.

Kkstarzz96 · Answer

Hooking up doesn't make me happy, it leaves me feeling insecure cause no matter how good the sex is, they won't commit to you. So does that mean that if you're in a relationship and you are having good sex, that you aren't safe? Yes, its not about how much pleasure you can give the person. Pleasure is temporary and i guess that state of happiness in general. You cannot be responsible of making each other happy. So how would you know what makes you love that person? Without giving too much or too little? That's the real question. Its usually not a fair balance.

dolemite89 · Answer

i think apps like tinder has literally driven people crazy lol women are starting to rack up these huge body counts and get all this free attention from men but then they over time realize like ya even if my personality is shit all these guys will hook up with me but they won’t take me seriously especially as my looks start to fade. And guys get frustrated cuz girls get to be waaaaay pickier now that they have tons of different guys hitting them up from all over the place. the 80-20 rule of 80% of women are sleeping with the top 20% of the guys is very evident on there.

Lionman95 · Answer

I think one of the main reasons is that it's socially acceptable most of us guys at least don't enter a relationship with the prospect of marriage but to have an adventure and to make new experiences.
We live in a culture where it's totally normal to break up because both or one partner fell out of love no matter when it happened.
I wouldn't blame women on that but the whole open sex culture that created alternatives to a relationship like friendship with benefits a relationship model without responsibility for each that just kept the sexual part.
I think that's also lowering the bar for relationships in general hence it puts personal needs over getting to know each other.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

Early on I did not take them serious but that is cause of the shit I had been through, but after that I have always taken them serious even when the guys did not.

Thank god I'm now married and hopefully will be happy with my man for the rest of my life.

lightbulb27 · Answer

Everyone in my circle is married or seriously dating… to my k owledge.

So it’s some. Corruption of society… fear… poor training…. In essence… emotional damage.

You’ll have to look harder and possibly in other places you’ve never looked

DiegoO · Answer

I don't know. Perhaps because people don't feel the need to be in a serious relationship, anymore. Or maybe dating apps are giving the ilussion that the more people you date, the higher the chance of finding a steady relationship. Ad to that: the sensation of having better options (the grass in greener on the other side).

Dating apps companies are profeting from the biological need to find a partner. Hollywood isn't helping, Disney never did.

We can also include the phenomenon of instant gratification, which actual technological advances has hyped. Let's also ad how (possibly) scared people are with how currently things are going (worldwide): deep economical crisis, political and social instability, the Ukra-Russian war and the danger of a WW3.

There you go.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

Beats me why. Just the culture we live in maybe? Still, not certain so I really do. It know. I know my last girlfriend things abruptly by saying she wanted to be single longer. Granted when we began talkiNg she mentioned that as well. However it was her who felt so moved by me that she wanted us to get involved and hell, the word, “elope” even passed her lips. I figure she just came back to her senses or whatever. Life goes on. Anymore and I just kinda affirmation as a whimsical moment or a momentary lapse of reason by the women I find myself briefly involved with. It’s always brief. Not even worth calling a girlfriend anymore …. And no, these are not net/distant never meet romance but women I actually meet and briefly start seeing in person from the start just by going about my day and striking up a conversation with them or them with me. Again, such is life.

Anonymous · Answer

Nobody knows how or why to be in a relationship anymore beyond their base instincts.

Marriage has been redefined into a meaningless institution about what we use to call the feel of infatuation rather than a long term union for children and economic stability.

So in reality relationships as they are understood today really are pointless. Nobody should want permission from anyone to be infatuated with anyone. Likewise there is little to no real value in the structure of these "relationships" as they are currently defined.

We are going to have to reintroduce marriage to our culture.

Кураж · Answer

I take relationships seriously, I just don't want marriage or children because those things do not make me feel happy or valued.
I want a woman to love me for me and be with me because she wants to, not because of some meaningless ceremony, title and a piece of paper.

Smashingdoozy · Answer

There's a big difference between dating and hooking up. Dating is getting to know someone to see if you would fit together and would like to be together in a relationship that is long term. Hooking up is simply just that, no commitment having ✨fun✨.

Kiss_Me · Answer

Both Genders react to each other. When social norms take a dive, both genders cause the other to react or adjust. Usually in a negative way.

For example, The "Sex first, relationship second" mentality has taken hold of our society. Men want sex and in order for women to attract men, they are less likely to withhold sex prior to securing a solid relationship. Sex is now so readily available that why would a guy want to get married or enter a relationship. Many people have even fallen enough down the moral ladder that they want "friends with benefits."

I don't blame men or women, but the decay of our society as a whole.

VanillaSalt · Answer

Why should we?

Marriage is out of style. Divorce is the next big thing. And with divorce comes alimony. Women don’t lose here men do. The house we mortgaged has to be sold for “her half”. The kids we helped make go to her and we still have to pay…

I don’t wanna talk bad about marriage but drastically speaking marriage is trash. Beautiful words nothing more. We can argue risk vs reward but what’s the reward? What do men get out of marriage we can’t get from a random hookup, friends, family, hobbies?

What women expect has gone up. The quality of women has gone down. Women's opinions of mens gone down. The benefits have disappeared and the risks are in our face. So why the fuck would a man even consider a serious relationship?

I don't know what you been through if it’s just no man asks you out or if their not interested in keeping you but… that just means they don’t think you have enough value.

dragoblack · Answer

Because people have forgotten what a healthy relationship is and prefer them full of drama so they dont get bored with the relationship. People also are hyper focused on getting laid compared to getting to know a person during dating. The way getting into relationships work now is "wanna fuck?, sure. want to be official girlfriend/boyfriend? lets see where it goes" every relationship i have seen usually starts with a hookup with very little romance & intimacy.

HopefulGuy94 · Answer

Cuz people have just started paying much more attention to sexuality than that of the feelings. You know this is a sensitive topic to talk about , but if the sexuality comes first I mean if it is the real purpose of the relationship you will sacrifice everything for it and the relationship turns into disgusting things such as one-night stand or f*buddy or etc. rather than marriage , long time partnership etc. Feelings must be the real factor shortly it has to be tool. If the tool comes before the product everything will be perfect , but the product comes first (which is not even possible) you cannot do anything so the relationship will end up after time passes. Tool = Feelings (exluding or avoiding any kind of sexuality) , Purpose/Product = Happy Marriage during lifetime ;)

Kaamraj · Answer

The phenomenon can be explained by simple economics. The dating game is heavily loaded against most men (average man), and in favor of most women and a tiny fraction of elite men. So, for that demographic they are living in abundance and excess, they don't value relationships as it's human nature not to value things which we have an abundance of. Then there are the majority of men, for whom getting into a relationship is so expensive and they are nearly always in a scarcity mindset that they give up and adapt as they realize that relationship is just not worth the price.

If there were 1 woman to every 10 men then that would have made sense but there are actually more women then men, so what they have to offer is being inflated.

Nawlins34 · Answer

Because they don't take themselves seriously, there's no personal accountability.
Mixing the two won't get better.

We have people who don't love themselves and will lie to the person in the mirror, looking for a relationship.

Broken people, generate broken relationships/marriages.

Meanwhile because this is the majority of the dating pool, the ones who DO take it seriously, value goes up even more.

RobT312 · Answer

I don’t think that’s true.
I also don’t think it’s any better or worse than the past …we just came out of decades of divorce. I grew up with so many friends of divorced parents.
anyways, I have been in a relationship of 5 years, engaged , with a goal of marriage kids family

Lookingforthetruth · Answer

Very simple answer.

Women chase top 20% of males for LTR. Get used by these men for sex/STR. Women such as you then go on social media sites complaining that no one takes relationship seriously anymore when a lot of guys still do but are overlook by women. Rinse repeat for same thing that will happen if you have a daughter.

Women can't be bothered giving men in 80% a chance until she reaches "epiphany stage", and usually by that time is mentally fucked in the head and lost a lot of her beauty and is on a decline.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

In the past, this was taboo. Hooking up was taboo. It's not being taken seriously, you're right. The datingsites are also working in favor of hooking up. For example, okcupid. It has the same tinder system. You are to swipe left and right and you only see his looks. You can go further to go to their profile, but I wish it wasn't like that. I want to see his picture and his profile automatically opens for me to read. But no, there is no time for that, it all needs to go fast fast fast.

Reaper1985 · Answer

the internet and everything that came along after it slowly ruined most peoples expectations and standards for dating and/or marriage. since a possible new sexual partner is only a few swipes and/or miles away.

plus as more males are finding out that in western culture many laws regarding relationships and/or parenthood heavily favor females. so many males are now weighting the risks and opting not to be in long term commitments.

Anonymous · Answer

Nuclear family died. Women want multiple partners and lots of experience before settling down. Men’s minds are warped by pornography. Economy is screwed, too expensive to get a home and live on your own. STDs are rampant. Alcohol is destroying lives. Children are confused about their gender by media and parents. School is not focused on STEM. etc. etc.

Anonymous · Answer

When you're 8 years old and your parents divorce, it's very hard for you to understand. All you want for Christmas is for daddy to be there, but that doesn't happen. It cut like a knife.

Friendlybro79 · Answer

I think the family unit is so drastically different nowadays as are gender roles. These are not as defined as they once were and people don't prioritize things the same because they literally can't afford to even if they wanted to.

Also inflation and low wages are making it difficult for young people to start their adulthood.

I think this has made it harder to have a clear path into adulthood which would bring marriage, homeownership, kids, etc.

motownplayer2000 · Answer

Lol women blame men for wanting sex and nothing else in a relationship, while men blame women for wanting to freeload in a relationship and have the man do everything for her. Which both are often very true. And we wonder why no one takes it seriously? Lol men are tired of carrying the woman’s whole world on there shoulders and women are tired of being seen for nothing but there bodies and how they can service a man. We get away from doing that. We can return to healthy meaningful relationships.
Back in the day, wasn’t any better. Women were just told to shut up and accept what the man is doing for them. And that’s it. She was to cook clean and bare children. No freedom and strict society structure of how she should be. So I wouldn’t use back in the day as a lesson to look forward too

sheikalana · Answer

People take dating and relationships too casually these days. I don't know exactly why maybe because of dating apps. It seems that playing with people's feelings is okay nowadays.

Chiarac2003 · Answer

I still date with those intentions….. with my current bf… I can see us getting married and having kids… yes🥰🎀

Texasgal95 · Answer

I think hook up culture has a lot to do with that a lot of things but I really don’t know to be honest

HaveNoName · Answer

- Hookup culture- Easy casual release of sexual urges- Selfishness towards commitment- Dying desire to raise a family- Increasing desire of women to be in careers- Fucked up law of Western society where divorcing wife takes up 50% of assets (or however it works)- Hidden in all of this is the fact that nobody sees anything wrong with having a life of open fornication and open cohabitation i. e. absense of belief that God created humans different from animals.

Hulk30 · Answer

i dont think that's true i think for the men that understand women and not to shit on em but they understand that relationships benefit most women more than most men so therefore they avoid em and why date to get married when that's much more expensive than sex first when that's alotta energy and time spent on maybes and nothin wrong with hook up although i prefer relationships for different reasons less expensive with more reliable ass also it's much easier to get ass from women if they get their emotional needs met such as relationships and commitments first most men dont know that kinda shit naturally increases their sex drive so why not give em what they want to get what ya want in return it's a win win to me

fonduegirl · Answer

You should only worry for yourself. Be the change you want to see in the world.

TommyWiseau69 · Answer

Most women want the top 5% of men even if they are in the bottom 5%

Anonymous · Answer

Because they have become a joke, marriage is dying out, divorce rates are sky high and most people don't want kids because they can't be responsible they just want to be on holiday and in nightclubs all the time

Not to forget the MeToo laws that forbid a man even looking in a woman's general direction or else he can be executed

Wait until everyone gets locked in little cells with no human interaction and everything to want produced by robots and brought to your door

douride2 · Answer

Most guys I meet now days are only interested in hooking up. They don't want any type of a long term relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

You can shame males for pointing it out, but female entitlement and insane expectations are the major reason. False allegations when they don’t get their way are another.
Golddiggers and females who use dating for free shit is another.

These are undeniable.

Men have stepped away from dating because women have made it not worth a mans time to get involved with women.

You shaming men for pointing out the flaws instead of addressing them and fixing them is proof of that entitlement.

BCA6010 · Answer

You can thank hookup culture and the promotion of irresponsibility for that one. Everyone is disposable to everyone now.

OldWorldOrder · Answer

Because they don't need to.

We are post-industrial now, we are a long way from the days of semi-permanent agriculture and the early city-states where a woman had to rely on the direct provisions of a man to keep herself and her offspring alive.

Today a woman can "get a job" and "provide for herself" by purchasing all of life's essentials.

RandomGuy1030 · Answer

Its not men, its women. Once you hookup with someone like lebron james you can't go back to someone like tucker carlson. The respect just isn't there anymore. And the stats show its women who leave relationships. If they went to college (i. e. road tons of cock) 90% of breakups are initiated by women

IveGotNoName · Answer

Hook up culture is sort of a pain, and sadly it is the norm. I date to marry though, so does my boyfriend and I know a few other people who do as well.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I totally agree with you, it is sad and makes no sense all people want are these hookups so sad to say but sex is all these people want. I want real love

clampfan101 · Answer

I take them very seriously. Having a family is my biggest dream. To me dating needs to be about having fun learning about each other to find out if they’re who you want as your partner in life. I know friendship must be the foundation of a relationship, and believe sex should only be in marriage.

TheFlak38 · Answer

" I don't even know what dating means anymore" it's all about serving a woman's vagina and give her the endless attention that comes with her taking advantage of her millions of options. Relationships are not serious anymore because women have the freedom to form their male harems. Why would a woman accept love and attention from just one man when she can open an instagram account and have thousands of men simultaneously?

Anonymous · Answer

"Eventually get married and have a family" turned into "eventually divorce, get alimony and child support, and find a new man to pay the bills".

We threw the sanctity of marriage out the window and now we wonder why it's not taken seriously?

Anonymous · Answer

friends with benefits, high body counts, Onlyfans... disloyalty... attention seeking on Insta.. and Tinder. Why would they?

Crankor · Answer

Many reasons. Avoiding consequence, the ease of finding new ones, basing it on superficial things... List goes on

Anonymous · Answer

Why would anyone take dating seriously when people have deliberately made a mockery out of both it and marriage?

Why don't people take relationships seriously anymore?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

What is the point of relationships anymore these days?

Why don't people take relationships seriously anymore?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

What is the point of relationships anymore these days?

We're glad to see you liked this post.