Why don't people take relationships seriously anymore?

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

I feel like back in the day, people used to date to eventually get married and have a family. These days I don't even know what dating means anymore. I do know that most (not all) people don't take it seriously. So many people want instant happiness and satisfaction, and they find that by hooking up. It's really sad.

#relationshipwoes
#microwavehappiness
#ShaTTeredQuestions

Updates

1 y

I think it's right on target that most of the male answers here are directly blaming women lol. Gotta love GaG man logic.

[DaveJord]

I will say that your views on dating are some what cynical, but in your defense my views of marriage are some what cynical as well. I have dated, and I have been married so I think I can justify my views because I know what makes me happy and what happiness is and means to me.

I never do well with women that seem to think they can not find true love and happiness with a man without marriage. I just disagree, because I found love and happiness without marriage, and I think everyone can if they approach every relationship with and open mind and open heart. I take dating seriously, but I only look for women that take it as seriously as I do. I never date a women with the intent of marriage. I find women that value their own freedom and independence, as highly as I do mine, very attractive. When you give love, emotional and physical support and open your heart to a women and they hold back or feel that they need more than that I move on. I am not looking for that type of relationship. Its not that I would not consider marriage, but I am not looking for it or want a women that feels she must have it in order to be happy.

I do not blame women for this, I blame a society that has completely redefined the concept of marriage... while at the some time people hold to these traditional beliefs that are not protect by the law. Bottom line being is that you as a person only retain 100% protection of the law over your assets, income and property outside of marriage. Once you get married you lose some of that freedom and protection that's just a fact. Unfortunately I have been with women who have betrayed that trust. I do not blame women but do blame those specific women. So on some level every women has to take some degree of responsibility for why we are at this intersection in society over marriage, just as much as I as a guy have take responsibility for the roles men have played. I don't like it, I don't think it always fair but its a reality. Women and men have done a lot of terrible things to their partners and marriage can be a jail ceil.

I have been through the spectrum of emotions over dating, marriage and divorce. I felt that women do not take it as seriously as they should and want or demand marriage with out really seriously considering the consequences and true depth of the commitment. They tend to want it for themselves, but I do no think they consider the true depth of sacrifices they will have to make along the way. When I came to realize that women do take dating it seriously without marriage, its just that I was looking or wanting to dating the wrong types of women. Once I took a serious step back and did some honest self reflection on myself did I start looking for and finding the right type of women... so it sounds to me that you should do the same.

Step back and do some self reflection and consider what it is you really need vs really want and why. Then make what ever chances you need to make about yourself to become the best version of yourself possible. Because I will promise you this... its not the men... its you. Once you realize what it is about you and you make those changes your whole perspective on live and dating will change.

I can not tell you exactly how or what it is you need to do, but once you figure it out I will promise you that you will find yourself being completely turned off by guys you would of dated 10 years ago, and completely turned on by men you would of discounted 10 years ago. An then the world will seem like a bigger place full of opportunities to you. You will stop chasing after failed relationship before they even get started.

[Anonymous]

Because people play victim their whole lives now. They seek love, get hurt, and then they give up. Of course they still need love and companionship so they seek relationships but nothing serious. That's what a lot of us do. We sit there and cry about our problems like someone is coming to save us. We sit there and never take any credit for the lack in our lives. We justify our mediocrity by blaming the world. @shatteredmasterpeace We cannot forgive the world. And when I say forgive and take responsibility people laugh at me. But if you go to all the successful people throughout history... They all say they same thing.

We all need to stop complaining and get it done. Period. We aren't entitled to a good life. We have to earn it. Period. It requires some growth... and sacrificing the lesser for the greater. I usually like to be a bit kinder in my comments but all I see is sexism on this site, blaming a whole gender for their problems. You or I might not be a bad person but we are the problem in our lives. She cheated on you? Sorry man you should have picked a girl with a keen sense of loyalty instead of picking someone based solely off of her looks and the way she made you feel initially. You have learned a lesson.

No guy is asking you out? Ask them out. We gotta stop playing the victim. Go get what you want. It is there for the picking. Is the world messed up? Yeah you bet it is. Don't let that stop you from getting what you want. Get it done. PERIOD. We waste our WHOLE lives complaining and fearing and not forgiving. The world isn't fair, I get it. I get it.
But time doesn't care! The world doesn't care! We better awake up. This isn't even about dating, it's about everything. The universe doesn't accept great excuses. Nope sorry.
Get it done. Period... Period. Stop caring and focusing on what's wrong and get it done.
The woe is me mentality; the victim mentality; the resistant mentality will get you nothing.

You wanna know what Lincoln said? Lincoln was treated like dirt. Read this:

"i remember a story i read where i think it was general McClellan he wanted him to do something

and mcclellan wouldn't come to see him so lincoln went to see McClellan and mcclellan wasn't there when he went so

he was asked to wait in the parlor so here's the president waiting for the general the general came in just looked

at him sitting there and walked right past him and went to bed and someone said doesn't it bother you

that they treat you this way and he said no he said i'll hold the general's coat if

it helps me win the war"

Thank goodness for this man. Get it done. Period.

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

Yeah I don't know why you decided to go o this whole rant here, but good for you for getting it out

[EmyyWolf]

Because there’s a surplus amount of people and anyone can cheat anytime anyday , with whoever at any give time, anywhere, with ease. All you need is a stick and a hole some privacy and 5 minutes. It’s extremely extremely easy to cheat. And 90% of the time you can just get away with it forever and ever. Not even your bestie will know if you don’t tell them.

If we were truly supposed to be monogamous, then maybe the act of copulation/reproduction aka. “Sex” . Should require more out of both involved male and female. BUT IT doesn't. In fact the shape of a males DI—K is for scooping out previous males seed from the inside of a woman. That’s why it’s a mushroom shape. That basically means that a woman is meant reproduce with 100 men in one night to maximize chances of better genes. Same reason a woman can have countless orgasms while a man cannot and the BANANA goes limp, a woman usually isn’t pleased with 1 encounter in 1 night. But they have to play it off as if they are.

Men on the other hand are meant to reproduce daily with a different woman every day. So that THEIR offspring are multiplied and not the babies of any other male.
ITS A COMPETITION OF GENETICS.
Once a woman is done birthing a child, she needs to find a different male to maximize chances of different better genes once again.
AKA. ITS A SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST
It’s also the same reason a male tends to ejaculate “cum” in extreme amounts when sharing a female with other males in a “gangbang”.
SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST.

In reality women are supposed to be having gangbangs. And men are supposed to be with a new female every day.

If we were practicing this type of natural polyamory. We’d have Spartans all over again. We’d have some Superman’s walking around. Some WonderWomans.
Because you’d be making the BEST GENE BEARING BABIES.

We’ve been so dumbed-down and manipulated and controlled, to believe that were supposed to be jailed next to one idiot for our entire lives. It’s BS ! It’s alll about keeping us under control, surveillance and governing our every move.

You may fact check me:
https://metro.co.uk/2018/08/13/penis-shaped-like-mushroom-7831438/amp/

https://observer.ug/lifestyle/54645-do-men-really-have-a-natural-instinct-to-cheat

Also it’s been studied that the more a woman has sex the more smarter she becomes. The more memory retention happens.

The more a man has sex with different females the better his semen becomes.

We aren’t even supposed to be eating meat. But we’ve been programmed to. Our own teeth tell us that we’re supposed to eat fruit and vegetables.

[maverick2022]

🤮🤮🤮

[yofuknutz]

I'm inclined to disagree you I should but I won't I'm going to tell you why I like the way you laid out the points and believe me it was not easy for me to read this I almost got sick myself but I know biology and I know what you're talkin about imma get it here's the thing what are we supposed to do with STD rates they're Rising again even babies are being born with syphilis come on now that hasn't happened since World War II that's two reasons for that one the damn doctors are not testing often enough they take your blood for prenatal care for every damn little thing why not for syphilis and a lot of women are single even with their pregnant I've heard of guys who were going on the gate with a pregnant woman and during the going on a date she went into labor and he met with her to the maternity ward the baby daddy wasn't around I from a Biblical standpoint I should disagree with you but this is something that needs to be examined explored and talked about I mean if you're having babies with different men who's going to pay for what how do we sort that out it's hard enough collecting child is important now especially if the baby father is not a professional it's very hard to collect child support from there paycheck unless they're a doctor or a lawyer or something like that. We definitely need to talk about this now maybe we're a little too late but at least we need to talk about it

[EmyyWolf]

@yofuknutz
Yeah. I agree we can’t do this type of SPARTAN reproduction nowadays. The governments have created these sexually-transmitted-illnesses to keep us controlled and dumbed down.

there's FILES UNTOP OF FILES TO PROVE THAT.
But I digress.

We should be marrying with 3 husbands or 3 wives. And we should all be fit and healthy.

There’s so much free untouched land. But these governments don’t want you to own a house built by you in a piece of land that you found.
WHICH IS HOW THIS SHOULD WORK.

They just want everyone to CONSUME and OBEY

[yofuknutz]

That's what used to make America great like 150 years ago they were giving out free Parcels of land all you had to do was run and stake a claim

[maverick2022]

That's like saying women being turned on by rape as a survival mechanism means that people used to reproduce by raping women. Not really true at all

[maverick2022]

I've heard all these arguments before and they come from the same people that put out stuff like "bonobos are proof that having sex all the time leads to a peaceful society" except you only have to look less than hundred years ago to see how common sex is during time of war.

[yofuknutz]

^^^^but having a lot of sex takes the "aggro" aggressive tendencies away

[maverick2022]

Regardless of whatever it does on a personal level does not mean it has the same effect collectively. Not even sure how one would go about making that argument, which I guess is why people point at monkeys instead.

[maverick2022]

It's like some people say porn decreases rape in society while other people say it increases rape. Who's right? There's evidence for both.

[yofuknutz]

Theory that everybody is happy because their needs are being met but if that was the way none of us would be on this particular website asking on how to get things done now would we?

[maverick2022]

Nobody would get much of anything done honestly. Being successful with women is pretty big motivator of men in general. And to think, everyone having sex means that ugly crazy guy is going to get laid too, no he will probably still be a serial killer.

[yofuknutz]

^^^^^ the Green River Killer Gary Ridgeway his wife told the investigators he would have sex with her five times a day and she could not give up she tried.

[maverick2022]

The poor guy just needed sex with more women, I'm sure.

[yofuknutz]

He did with Corpses that's how he got caught

[maverick2022]

lol he killed them after having sex. He's like pay me bitch, with your life! So much for the peaceful sex world theory.

[yofuknutz]

most people are not like that unless they get all the sex they want and can they still become like him?

[floralsunshine22]

First of all, I want to tell you I am so sorry for everything you've gone through. You were only 18 years old, I have daughters that age. Your mother seems to be forgetting she is not the victim here. Not at all. I understand she holds anger for your husband making remarks about wanting to kill her, but she isn't the one who has been abused. You have. Everything you wrote sounds like a victim of mental, physical, and domestic abuse. Your mother finding ways to twist and turn this around about her is very disrespectful.

She needs to respect your wishes on not bringing this matter up anymore. If your husband is of immediate danger to you, please call the police or make plans to safely leave. If you believe you are able to live under the same roof with him, make it clear to your mother to keep her opinions to herself. Regardless of what she thinks, this is not helping you. And also could be creating an even more dangerous situation for you. This has nothing to do about "loyalty". Your grandparents actually sound like very kind individuals who have tried to keep a situation calm in order to see their grand daughter and great grand child. Having your mother constantly go
rehashing the fact they continued contact with your husband has nothing to do with this. I do not get a vibe here at all they were trying to be sketchy, only try to smooth over an already terrible situation.

PTSD is tricky. Your mother was nothing but abusive in those texts, and I could feel your pain when asking her to stop. The brain works in different ways, and she has no clinical background to make statements such as "you live with him and see him everyday so it shouldn't be an issue if I mention his name". That is not how trauma or PTSD works. It is very clear you're distressed already living with this man, and you seem to only want to try to find some resolution to your stress. Tell your mother to stop talking about stressing subjects or bringing up your husband. It is none of her business if he takes him outdoors.

I highly suggest spending some time at your grandparents. They seem to be rational individuals and not victim blame, which is exactly what your mother did. You are so young and my heart breaks for you. God bless.

[floralsunshine22]

Oops so sorry. Posted on the wrong thread

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Lol I was wondering this how a 23 year old girl has 18 year old daughter 🤣

[Aakash_Hangargi]

I am smiling at confusion and not situation 🧐

[razelove]

What are you talking about? I'm married with a family. I took my time to play the field and hook-up. When that got lonely and boring, I started dating to find someone to settle down with and have little ones. It took retraining myself and the women I was looking for to, you know, not just hook-up more.

After enough effort and time it paid off though. I do get you with not knowing what dating means. So, when we were dating we broke up at one point, I met another girl, I liked her, I still liked my wife, I said as much to both of them and said I didn't want to hurt them, and didn't know what to do. They talked, and we all wound up together. Been poly since, and it's a paradigm I'm still not 100% used to. Even if I meet another woman I love, and we're together for a long time, in the US it would be illegal to marry her as polygamy is illegal. Experimenting, women would rather get with me if I say I'm cheating rather than hey, my wife is cool with this.

It's all very confusing.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Laziness- relationships take time/ work that people don't want to put into a relationshipSelfish- people only think of their wants and needs and not of their partner/potential partnerEntitled- people think they're entitled to whatever they want without doing anything to achieve or deserve it.. Social media/technology- is not only ruining existing relationships, it's changing what relationships even are. I've seen so many posts on here talking about their girlfriend or boyfriend, and it ends up being someone they've never actually even met in person... That seems more like long distance electronic pen pal than a relationship...

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

Things change with time. LDRs are not new. But they were more successful back in day because the end goal was the same as in a regular relationship. Dating to get married. To have something longterm. To build with one another. That has changed and is no longer the goal.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

But that's the thing, it's not happening because so many people are saying people they don't "really" know...
Dating needs to go back to really knowing someone, investing real time in getting to know them, spending time together too know this is someone you can really live with, someone you really want to spend the rest of your life with.. I know we disagree on this, but for me personally I can't know all that just by a online long distance relationship...
But even relationships that aren't long distance.. People are treating dating/relationships like jobs or business... One guy even said,"it's like a job, you don't quit one, till you have another lined up"🙄
People are too into who brings what to the table, who should pay for the first date blah blah, etc, etc.

[yofuknutz]

^^^oh damnnnnnn, don't quit until another 1 is lined up, oh shiiiiittttttt. So its come down to this?

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

The point of LDR is that they become close range. But at the end of the day, it's ALL relationships that are what they used to be. Nothing is sacred anymore. Nobody takes anything seriously anymore. It's all sex and on to the next.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I think there's a lot of that going on, I agree... But I also believe there's still good men and women out there that aren't that way...

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@yofuknutz apparently for some guys, cuz I've heard someone say that IRL, and I've seen a guy who replied to a post of mine say that...
Me, personally, no I don't roll that way. And wouldn't date anyone that is

[ManOnFire]

For several reasons:

1. Today's generation thinks it's just easier to talk to people online than to actually try to meet and date.
2. But also because people today do try to just hookup or do online dating, which lessens and cheapens the value of really meeting someone for a concrete relationship.
3. Men are more interested in just meeting someone for sex, while the men who really want a relationship feel afraid of trying because of all the hos out there.
4. Women are more in love with themselves, in love with getting attention, and in love with their requirements for men to meet in order to date them than really being in love with a man. And a lot of women are looking for hookups no less than men.
5. Today's generation didn't have good upbringing and no good example of a strong relationship from their parents, so they have less of an incentive to really care about one of their own.
6. Cheating is so common nowadays that it has watered down the morality and strength of two people standing their ground and loving each other like they should.

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

I can agree with a lot of this.

[crossdressingrihno]

A lot of people are saying it's all about sex these days but I disagree quite frankly and I disagree a lot

I don't think it's purely about sex sure I believe sex has a big part to do with it but it's not the only part
On at least equal terms with sex is connection
Love and romance and the need for companionship are factors in relationships as well sure the idea of marriage is generally horrifying to most people these days but that's not because of love and things like that that's because of how the government has altered what a marriage is sure once upon a time that worked that was a functional way of doing it but this was at a time when women stayed at home and worked the kitchen and Men did all of the money earning but fact is we're not like that anymore and marriages can't remain as they are because the dynamic of the household has changed so dramatically that the traditional concepts of marriage just don't work anymore that's like trying to do an invasive surgery with a stone knife it worked back then because that's what they had but you wouldn't use a stone knife now on the operating table that would be absolutely mad

[MCheetah]

Women are the gatekeepers of sex and completely control Hookup Culture (which only benefits them and the top 5% Chads they choose), and have raised their standards so high, along with their unwarranted egos, it's made many men go MGTOW or just stop trying. No point in trying to date when every 3 out of 10 girl thinks she's a 9 and deserves a 10 out of 10 guy.

Of course, GOOD LUCK finding a woman out there to admit she's the sole reason she's single. No, it's literally everything and everyone else's fault though that she refuses to date guys under six feet or guys who don't have an Olympic Athlete's body and salary, and that she's still single with an endless supply of men in her inbox...

Although simp men share some blame, women are almost entirely why dating sucks nowadays. Cause we sure as hell know it's not like women ever chase after men or put themselves out there, only to be told they're 'inferior/femcels' for not being genetically superior enough for some shallow person's hookup criteria...

TL;DR: Women only go after 10/10 Chads who aren't looking to commit, then bitch at all the normal decent men they rejected for women still being single.

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

Yeah im not even gonna bother to get into this discussion with you again. You're a guy that blames everything wrong in your life on women.

[MCheetah]

@ShaTTeredMasterpeace
That's some nice projection there. I already stated I'm done looking for a partner. Just because you want to deny the truth doesn't suddenly make it untrue. If I was so full of crap, it'd be easy to counter everything I said instead of just scoffing and sighing without a single counterargument or reason why I'm wrong.

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

Lol it's not projecting tho. Especially when I've had the conversation with you before.

[Anonymous]

I'm not going to blame all women, and I'm not going to blame the problem entirely on women, because men share some of the blame too. But, I will tell you where most men's heads are today, in my experience, with respect to relationships and marriage.

In the past, marriage was the goal for most, and relationships were essentially a steppingstone to marriage. For men, marriage is no longer the goal it once was because marriage doesn't offer men many of the benefits it used to, and frankly it's a lot more risky and costly than it ever was in the past. We have been bombarded with the message that marriage benefits men more than it does women, but the studies on which that claim was based were done with couples that were together for many years, and the marriage those men knew are very, very different than what marriage is today. Marriage was different and women were different.

Today, half of marriages end in divorce, women file the vast majority of those divorces, and men are still told they are the reason for that despite the fact that studies show otherwise. Men tend to get screwed in divorce court by a female-biased court system and they usually lose in child custody disputes. That's very unappealing to men and it's on all of our minds.

Add to all of that the fact that casual sex is the norm these days, so unlike in the past, marriage is not a requirement to have sex for many guys.

If you step back and take an objective look at all of that, is it really any surprise why men are not taking relationships seriously?

[SlashedSunset]

Well I don't know if that is true at least not so black and white in its reasoning I think there are quite a few guys who date seriously and yes who want to get married if they find the right person by doing that. I should know I am one of them.

Guys put themselves out there a lot and it doesn't always work out. I get it when a woman is looking for a potential partner she will have higher standards in that process as guys do as well. Maybe if one is finding they are dating people who don't take relationships too seriously they need to cast a wider net so to speak.

Guy is a bit overweight but he seems sweet and genuine give him a chance.
Girl has a political stance you might not agree with but seems nice and friendly give her a chance.
Guy doesn't take the best pictures but you find the details of his bio to be in line with your interests give him a chance.
Girl doesn't have the biggest boobs but her you feel the passion and joy she displays for her hobbies give her a chance.
Just some random examples but hopefully they illustrate my idea. The people who take relationships seriously might be closer then we think one just has to keep searching and work on being the best version of themselves as well.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Couple of reasons.

1. If divorced man is literally screwed emotionally and financially.


2. Men were always egoistic and had wanted to lead now that is challenged women are getting to men level of egoism and everybody is familiar with third wave of feminism.

3. Women are also looking for relationship they are valuing the freedom to have more body counts and are experimenting like threesomes foursome random sex with strangers its more about about quenching thirst and still having the freedom not necessarily wrong.

4. it was always expected from women to be the moral support and have the values which people were either forced or liked to have to have them the barrier is broken now they are wild now they are enjoying the liberty again not wrong but it comes at a cost.

5. over the years the notion of love has changed.

6. But still nothing is changing why? Bc instead of putting time and effort in one relationship they are investing it partly across the multiple people that inturn makes them more hurting and loose trust.

7. At the end of the day people are searching for physical intimacy rather than emotional content.
Physical intimacy can only take you so far but you can't guarantee that your emotional intimacy
Will make you full filled people are looking for way out something that bothers them and people don't have time nowadays over the years it has changed pressure is too much.

8. It's all about choices and consequences in the end you can choose anything you want

[Finchie40]

Because social media destroyed peoples minds and ways of thinking , Every guy and girl is a cheater and can’t be trusted , if your partner does this , they are cheating on you if your partner treats you this way , they are talking behind your back etc. So many people live on their phones nowadays and fill their minds with nonsense not realizing social media is a money making market , it was designed to brainwash people to buy into shit , All the crap we read about relationships and cheating more than likely created by Lawyers to make money from divorces , the more people that cheat and divorce the more money lawyers make. People have become more selfish and mainly only really care about themselves , If everyone put their phones down and looked at the world around them they would realize that social media is a bunch of garbage but too many people are addicted so it’s a lost cause

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

Well said.

[Finchie40]

I wasn’t blaming anyone , men and women can be pieces of shit

[ChrisMaster69]

I think culture plays a part.

where I am it’s always been a party city (rated best in UK 3rd in Europe etc) and we are all really friendly and love having fun.

This all means that from school age we are dating or hooking up randomly, just for fun and nothing serious.

There is a lot of one night stands and hookups, however a lot of these actually turn in to dates.

This tends to happen where you tap off with someone and then think, you know I actually like them for more than just sex. You then start dating and developing that emotional link with them. You hit it off and it becomes a relationship, or it does not.

I grew up where basically shagging around was socially accepted, there was no shame attributed to it.

Life is for having fun and also learning who you are actually compatible with, the type of person who would be long term commitment.

[Sugar100]

Yes I have seen one couple they had sex on first date and now they are married have baby. Some date long time have sex then it’s serious relationship then marriage. All backwards now. Yet again women can’t predict wen she will get married so y wait to start life with a guy til marriage? Not all women r lucky to marry at age 20 . That’s y women do it all backwards we don’t know wen marriage will happen

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

Life is for having fun but hooking up with a bunch of different people is not what myself and so many others would consider as fun.

[Changiis07]

It is sad. I find that social media has ruin a lot to be honest. Think about it.. men and women can now text each other and messages get deleted making it easier to cheat. No one likes calling anymore but we rely on texts and overthink everything. Back then people had to put effort into talking to someone like literally walk up to someone and ask for their number now you can scroll and if you like someone then bam follow each other and blah blah but trust me there are still good quality men and women. I presonally have found them at church and no not all will be good but some will

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

Yeah I feel like social media and technology in general have messed everything up

[humpbackjack]

Don’t let other peoples actions change who you are and don’t give up on finding your person maybe do some self reflection and reassess some things maybe stop paying attention to all the men or women out there and just be open to that one person that is waiting to meet you or for you to see them. There’s plenty of people out there with lots of different values just don’t shut that door and be willing to go get that person if you see them. We all complain about past relationships or people we’ve been meeting lately when really it’s our pickers are broken find a different gene pool don’t pick the same type and be upset when it blows up

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

The dating pool has piss in it.

[humpbackjack]

All public pools have piss in them you gotta start swimming in private pools. For reals though as long as you’re happy being single then be single but being single because you’re giving up on relationships sounds like a lonely life. I know the world has changed and it’s a lot harder to find someone with the type of values that you’re looking for but they’re out there and they’re probably feeling the same as you and everyone needs to have someone so stay open to it and maybe you can put some of the pieces back together. I wish you the best and remember to stay out of those public pools

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

Thank you!

[Hairylegs222]

You can have a serious relationship without having kids, not everyone wants kids. Also some people are serious and don't get married. Getting married or not doesn't matter towards how you feel towards each other.

I know what you mean though. Some people simply don't want a serious relationship. It's frustrating how many people I've encountered in my life that doesn't care about having a serious relationship.

Some people choose that weird open relationship thing. Or only wants sex and never a relationship. Or has relationships with multiple partners. Than there's people that are incapable of having a serious relationship due to their poor qualities.

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

Yeah I know not everyone wants kids and that marriage isn't everyone's goal, this is more geared towards longterm relationships. I do agree with you tho

[Hairylegs222]

Same thing. Some people have long term serious relationships with no kids and/or marriage. As long as you're together and love each each other, regardless of having kids or not, or being married or not, won't change the fact you have a strong serious long term relationship with each other.

[kinggeorge007]

It's okay and not okay at the same time.

I mean if you are looking for something temporary and physical intimacy, why bother or drag someone into a relationship and hurt their feelings in the process when you just can have what you want in short term flings.

In the other hand, yes it's sad that people have got lost in this whole chaos. Even for someone who is looking for something last long, it has become a real challenge to find someone who's into long term relationships.

Also the trust between people is all time low. Long term relationships are based in trust. When trust is lost, it becomes non existent.

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

Yeah trust issues are like at an all time high

[lilyanony1]

Because noone has respect for each other anymore.
There was a time when people accepted chivalry as an sign of respect.
Not a sign of power dominance and control.
There was a time when housework was seen as a job and not just a hobby.

When people were houseproud and took care in maintaining it together. (set roles or playing to each others strengths)

Basically the couples that lasted and made their marriages work and were actually happy. Were the ones that had good communication with each other, made rules that worked for them, loved each other, and had a team mentality.

Unfortunately we live in a world where we allow outside influences to determine how we live our lives.
I'm not entirely sure anyone can be happy or satisfied that way.

[yofuknutz]

You ain't kidding! My ex HAD to follow her retarded idiot friends and I'm the rocket 🚀 scientist.

[lilyanony1]

Jesus... Its a headache if really is...
I keep telling people somethings seriously wrong. Dogs and cats for example seem to live quite happily, in fact most animals seem to be more at peace with each other than human beings

[yofuknutz]

Nice analogy although dogs and cats keep a healthy distance from each other

[lilyanony1]

Honestly I see lots of pets living in harmony. And there are tons of videos people are sharing of their own pets doing the same

[yofuknutz]

something wrong whatever gave you that idea?

https://youtu.be/vZcAD2jfNRI

[Kkstarzz96]

Hooking up doesn't make me happy, it leaves me feeling insecure cause no matter how good the sex is, they won't commit to you. So does that mean that if you're in a relationship and you are having good sex, that you aren't safe? Yes, its not about how much pleasure you can give the person. Pleasure is temporary and i guess that state of happiness in general. You cannot be responsible of making each other happy. So how would you know what makes you love that person? Without giving too much or too little? That's the real question. Its usually not a fair balance.

[yofuknutz]

You're damn right it's not a fair balance you damn right it ain't!!!

[chris_987]

I never understood why women always wanted commitment

[Kkstarzz96]

It feels good to know someone likes all of you not just your surface level physique

[chris_987]

Still doesn't make sense when you think about it, if human beings are mortal and men like variety, is girls as young as 13 are looking for guys to commit, it means that there mating strategy is to always be monogamous, where as men actually cum harder with different partners. I think birth control screwed up dating. Women where never evolved into having meaningless sex like a man because men could never get pregnant.

[Kkstarzz96]

Uh cumming harder doesn't equal a better life i already mentioned it

[chris_987]

I never said it doesn't, I just used it as an example that men and animals have stronger orgasms with different partners

[Kkstarzz96]

im going to reply that according my data, that is not true lmao.

[chris_987]

You should published your scientific research then, so that people can add it to zeitgeist

[Kkstarzz96]

how do you feel more comfortable in sex if you're always changing people. let alone the fact i need to discuss birth control every time and some of them dont agree with me and i have to dip, if my boyfriend doesn't want to use it, what am i gonna think, naturally im not going to get pissed lol

[chris_987]

That's the woman side, I was talking about the male side, men aren't trying to be comfortable, where just trying to experience the best orgasm possible, women are the ones that have a dick inside of them so they have to worry about comfort and things of that nature.

[Kkstarzz96]

but your orgasm is also unfairly easier to achieve. i dont see the difference between girlfriends and a random women, other than you may be more willing to be rough. just because you need to cum more to be sane doesn't mean you need to take it out on us that and not let us cum at all cause you're that selfish. ugh

[Kkstarzz96]

woman*

[chris_987]

It's has nothing to do with you, because if a guy watches porn he doesn't cum to the same porn over and over again he needs something different, I heard it's the same for women too they also get bored but personality wise that why they go for the bad boy because he stimulates then, men don't need protection from a woman so sexual diversification is our main goal.

[yofuknutz]

^^^^hmm the porn switcheroo interesting.

[Kkstarzz96]

i actually do rewatch the same porn like im js i genuinely dont understand im not just trying to be defensive. you can easily be attracted and love one person. if you break up okay cool but you tried. we dont even get a chance anymore.

[yofuknutz]

Chance is out the window.

[chris_987]

You just proved my point by saying you watch the same porn, if guys can't do that then what does that tell you about men?

[Kkstarzz96]

so explain how we even got here.

[chris_987]

Human nature, if it wasn't in our nature then we wouldn't be having this conversation

[Kkstarzz96]

i meant the fact i dont have brothers or sisters from different mothers lol

[chris_987]

Your most likely poor, remember women only throw themselves at certain men. A guy might want to sleep with a different women but if women are attracted to money an status. Then guy can't sleep with every girl he sees

[Kkstarzz96]

dude poor guys are out here acting like they got options it doesn't discriminate

[chris_987]

There most likely pretending to be rich. Everytime a girl talks about a poor guy who gets girls it's either a dope dealer or a scammer. The get enough quick cash to pretend like they're living a mysterious life

[yofuknutz]

Interesting analysis scammer gets the play that explains Wall Street

[Kkstarzz96]

i was casually dating someone who was poor but he worked out like crazy and said thats how he gets women is his confidence. i dated him cause he was cute, and he allowed me to be myself emotionally, which is unlike any bro I've ever met.

[chris_987]

Well women only date men that approach them, the chances your gonna end up with a guy that's good at talking to women is very high, so if a woman is gonna get cheated on, it's almost unavoidable because there source is men that are good with women.

[Kkstarzz96]

every time i had a boyfriend it was me who approached them. minus one guy, i felt bad for him he was still trying to go out with me after 6 months i said fine. boys put no work in.

[chris_987]

Ok let's break down why you where doing this, where you not getting offers from guys you like? Because I find it hard to believe that a woman has no options so she has to ask out all her potential boyfriend's

[Kkstarzz96]

the guys I like don't really talk to women. I was the first girlfriend for them. only one had a few prior and i told him I think he's cute and he said I had a huge crush on you in high school what lol

[chris_987]

So why do you like guys that don't talk to women?

[Kkstarzz96]

why would I want a guy who uses the same tactics multiple times and gets what he wants and moves on to the next. shyer guys are not going to approach women, the con is they also don't know what to do with a woman. i had to do a lot of teaching. at some point I just want to date a guy who values me

[chris_987]

Men do value women but not based on how she looks or anything physical, it's based on how much respect you have for them, I can't imagine a woman respecting a man she has to approach and an teach him everything, it's should be the other way around because a man is stronger than a woman so if she respects that he is a man then he is gonna feel appreciated. Sorry but it's seem like your screwed when it comes to finding what you want.

[Kkstarzz96]

I've also learned that from my experience, and yes, it did lead to disrespect. I understand, but I also want to feel heard, and women generally have to speak a few times before men listen and if ever, understand our feelings.

[chris_987]

But if you want a guy to be responsible for your well being IE being cared for then your gonna have to rust his leadership, sound like you want o tell him how he she care for you which is the opposite of trust. But honestly I don't blame you because women aren't raised in a society hat teaches them to trust in a man, so you better off just finding pleasure and status like most of these girls do out here

[Kkstarzz96]

I'm not giving up and it takes work either way

[yofuknutz]

So either be LESS bossy or simply get a fuk boi?

[chris_987]

I never said to give up but you'd have a better chance at find a romantic caring partner if you live somewhere where it was encouraged. Do you think places like France and Latin America have problems with men being romantic, hell the men kiss other men as a sign of hello

[Kkstarzz96]

i guess you're saying my problem is I'm attracted to mixed people lol they have other descents but they are born and raised here. as am I

[chris_987]

It doesn't have be a problem, don't see why you can't just enjoy life. No where does it say your entitled to a guy that loves and cares for you. So my opinion is just talk to who ever you like and if they don't interest you move on

[yofuknutz]

I'm getting the impression she doesn't show interest so she's not getting the results that she wants

[dolemite89]

i think apps like tinder has literally driven people crazy lol women are starting to rack up these huge body counts and get all this free attention from men but then they over time realize like ya even if my personality is shit all these guys will hook up with me but they won’t take me seriously especially as my looks start to fade. And guys get frustrated cuz girls get to be waaaaay pickier now that they have tons of different guys hitting them up from all over the place. the 80-20 rule of 80% of women are sleeping with the top 20% of the guys is very evident on there.

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

Lol yeah this doesn't apply to a lot of women but men just keep thinking we have so many options

[dolemite89]

yes it does 😂 even below average looking women can get laid whenever they want with no effort on there. it may not be with guys she truly wants tho.

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

Lol again, I'm telling you that's not true

[Lionman95]

I think one of the main reasons is that it's socially acceptable most of us guys at least don't enter a relationship with the prospect of marriage but to have an adventure and to make new experiences.
We live in a culture where it's totally normal to break up because both or one partner fell out of love no matter when it happened.
I wouldn't blame women on that but the whole open sex culture that created alternatives to a relationship like friendship with benefits a relationship model without responsibility for each that just kept the sexual part.
I think that's also lowering the bar for relationships in general hence it puts personal needs over getting to know each other.

[monorprise]

Nobody knows how or why to be in a relationship anymore beyond their base instincts.

Marriage has been redefined into a meaningless institution about what we use to call the feel of infatuation rather than a long term union for children and economic stability.

So in reality relationships as they are understood today really are pointless. Nobody should want permission from anyone to be infatuated with anyone. Likewise there is little to no real value in the structure of these "relationships" as they are currently defined.

We are going to have to reintroduce marriage to our culture.

[Aerissa_Jade]

Early on I did not take them serious but that is cause of the shit I had been through, but after that I have always taken them serious even when the guys did not.

Thank god I'm now married and hopefully will be happy with my man for the rest of my life.

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

Fingers crossed