Is my partner being weird about my job?

[sunflower00]

I work in a mostly male dominated job (motor industry), and have done for over 2 years now. My boyfriend is fairly interested in cars but not overly, and would never want to do the job I do.

However, I feel like he’s being a bit weird about my work recently? He doesn’t really care when I speak about work and makes that obvious, he constantly tells me he knows more about cars than I do like it’s a competition? He started an argument the other day about a type of car, and basically said I’m stupid for thinking that style of vehicle is good and I only think that because of my work, and I was just saying that everyone has different opinions and he doesn’t have to like it, he’s allowed to like what he wants and I’m allowed to like what I want. He genuinely went to sleep mad about it.

Also I bought a car which was a bit newer and better and he literally almost broke up with me over it? And said I should get an awful smaller older car instead even though it cost the same on finance. He acted like it was an awful car but I could tell he really liked it when he drove it.

He’s also trying to convince me to leave my job and move, but I love my job and we can’t afford to move right now. When I explain that I love my job he basically thinks it’s stupid and criticises me for wanting to be in the same job for life and calls me boring.

He’s an amazing person in all other areas and is sometimes completely fine about it but it’s just super strange.

Why is he being like this? I just want him to be supportive, I’m really supportive with everything he does.

Updates

1 y

I work in sales

[Fireguy17]

If I was younger and single I would tell you to come on over, I have a couple of old cars that we could work on together.

[Neilbud]

Sounds like he might be a little insecure about your skills and knowledge with cars. Maybe include him in a few of your projects.

[sunflower00]

Unfortunately I can’t really include him in anything to do with my work since I work at an official dealership and he doesn’t work there, I try to speak to him about it sometimes though but it seems like he just doesn’t want to hear it. I tell him I agree he knows more than me about cars (I didn’t know much about them before the job) so I don’t understand why he would be insecure about it

[xColinx]

Hey I know you posted this a while ago but if you're still interested in opinions... maybe he's projecting a bit? What I mean by that, is he unhappy with his own job/career at the moment?

Other than that, I think you're smart to just deflect his insecurities/concerns by agreeing with him he knows so much about cars :) and stuff like that. Has he started to lighten up already about it, or is he still making comments related to your job?

[sunflower00]

Hey! Thanks for the reply. He’s been a lot better about it, he just encourages me to leave now as my manager is sexist and a bit of a bully to everyone but wants me to be happy.

He is unhappy with his own job & career and has been for a while so that might be it. He has started studying now though to get the job he wants in the future and thinks he will leave his current job soon.

[xColinx]

ugh yeah a lot of managers suck. A previous manager of mine was a total a-hole/bully type, and then towards the end of the day he'd like to openly talk about how much his liver was gonna be hurtin after tonight... apparently "bragging" about he was gonna drink himself sloppy. Anyway, that's a tough call to balance a good job you enjoy (or at least pays well) vs. a bad boss... and when it's time to consider a full on job change.

And that's cool you can talk to you guy about the situation with your manager, and that way he knows everything isn't sunshine & rainbows with your job and he can help relate to it that way and not feel insecure about anything but instead just want to encourage you to do whatever will be best for you in the long run.

And I'm sure you already are but keep encouraging him with whatever he's pursuing. Having motivation and hope in life is pretty key to happiness. And happiness of course key to a relationship. Hopefully the job stuff doesn't get in the way too much with the relationship as far as energy levels, intimacy, all that stuff.

[Anonymous]

this has nothing to do with cars/your job. this is actually toxic and abusive. i noticed that right away when you said you love your job and he comes back with he thinks it's stupid. and then the part of trying to convince you to leave your job, move, etc... he is trying to isolate you and make you so unhappy so he can weaken you and take advantage of you. big red flag.

[Tstrbrainer]

Well, he is not happy about your job, I guess

[Straight2thepoint]

Possessive