Do you think girlfriend and boyfriend should live together or wait until marriage?

[Anonymous]

[HopefulGuy94]

I get mad when I say this is really wrong and face the other people's bad words , thoughts or etc. Then just tell me what is the difference between living together and a marrige? You do everything before marriage , so what makes the marriage special? Or why you marry then if you do so? Those two different situations are theorically are completely different while practically are the same , already , if everything involved marriage is already belong to pre-marital things also , why do you not wait for the exact things to do at exact place or exact feelings at the exact time. If we are all be like this experiencing and do this riduculous things with not only just one person but only so many people , at the end why we marry to only one person and try to be loyal to him/her , does it even makes sense though , I am asking? And then we interrogate why the marriages are unhappy , what leads to be divorced , why people are cheating on his wife/her husband and etc. So dramatic !!!

If you have not done those things you will have a really considerably much more higher chance to find ur true love in the future , as a result. Just use your brain !!!

[Alexis1313]

It's either religious brainwashing, or she's trying to hide her true personality easier so she can wrangle him in for his money when the time comes.

[HopefulGuy94]

I was talking about this thing thanks for making me sure of it , forget about the term brainwashing just concentrate on the brain that you have. Which one the above does not make sense for you I really wonder just let me know it pls. Even scientific researches lead us to reach a compromise about it. Here is the link check it out : ifstudies.org/.../does-sexual-history-affect-marital-happiness . There are resources which were utilized during preparing this essay down below the paragraph on the link. We could easily see whose brains are washed by manipulating the people by freedoom , new world order , populism and stuff like those. If sth is mentioned in my mindset there have to be logical explanation for this. Staying at the same home or anywhere lonely with an opposite gender leads wrong thing cuz they are like a light gunpowder and a lighter , could u even ignore this then why it happens so? Why do the people behave offensively against those who are believer , however , they do not do nothing wrong? Anyway , I had my brain washed so it is purely extremely clear and pure ;) I have not got a dirty-mind sorry for that then go and live whatever you want to , which will make u a brainwashed with some dirty water to make you no difference between animals ;)

[TheorionMage]

Civil 'marriage' exists as a legally-binding societal 'contract'
originally to 'codify' potential inheritances of progeny...
would you NOT like to KNOW if your personalities are FUNCTIONALLY compatible
during those chafing 'off' days rather than just if... you're on your 'best' behavior?
BEFORE you (pl) as a 'couple' become progressively legally-entangled in long-term leases, credit and
legal commitments?

That's 'why' even the Neo-pagans still often honor the tradition of "13 lunar months and a day..." BEFORE finalizing a 'Hand Fasting' Commitment~ ) O ( THEIR Clergy (HP / HP-ess) are merely legal witnesses to the mutually- binding Oath they make pledging before their concept of Deity and one another~

Until THAT time, a WISE female continues physical contraception! ; )

[Alexis1313]

Dude, I get what you're trying to say, but stop trying to seem smart.

You're coming off like an idiot who can't just communicate normally, you know you're smart, so stop trying to prove it to others by bringing in stuff that's not really relevent.

Basically you said "are you guys really gonna NOT live with each other, then get married, to find out you don't like living with each other and are now legally and financially bound?"

"Even modern pagans have a year trial period in their marriage where it can be broken off"

See? That is more down to earth, conveys the same message, and is actually clear, in your attemps to sound intelligent, you actually come across as LESS intelligeble and theirfore your message is lost.

That's all you had to say.

[TheorionMage]

@Alexis1313
Dude, I'm replying from HALF FUGGIN CENTURY of Life Experience,
... collegiate experience in Debate and Extemporaneous Speech and I've been awarded
an honorary DOCTORATE in Comparative Theosophy!
I've TAUGHT at two colleges, I'm not TRYING to come off smart.
NOBODY KNOWS EVERYTHING, myself included!

My point was unless you wanna string of ex-wives and alimony, I'll PASS on societal conventions (THEY aren't paying MY alimony) and I'm sure she'd like to know if we're compatible during life's hard times too! The time you INVEST in getting to know one another... isn't wasted.

[Alexis1313]

Seems like grandiloquent prevarications to me =^ )

No but seriously, listen dude, I get it, I just mean to say, I've done what you have done before, it actually ends up making your point come across less clear.

Some fair advice.

[Screenwriter]

Studies show that it makes no difference if people live together until marriage or not.

It's MARRIAGE that makes the difference. Living together is another form of honeymoon. People act out what they've experienced in their home lives. Some have good examples, some not so good and some no examples. Living together is practice, it's not marriage.

Marriage has to be an agreement and a vision that a couple works out and hopes lasts. Living together is a "right now, let's see." You don't have to pool checking accounts or comment on how you both spend money or visit each other's families for holidays or decide on how the children behave or where they go to school. You don't have to work out a saving for retirement plan or saving for a home.

It's like practicing for a concert. Marriage is the concert. Two completely different experiences.

[jennifer_bloom]

I think you should live separately until your engaged and the marriage is less than 30 days away but no sex until your married and no visual disclosure until your married. I might wait a week after the wedding to have sex just because it would be a very stressful event even without the sex.

[HopefulGuy94]

Thank God , there are still people who thinks same as me , even nowadays. But need to note that if the regretting occurs in oneself it is okay to promise and don't do so till marriage. The fault can be done only once on purpose when someone does not have any idea what happens next after doing sth bad , if it continues then it will turn into a really bad habit , regret becomes stupidity , whose penalty is so so bad in the other-world. But anyway even I find those really bad and wrong or even hate them in excessive way we are not the one who can judge them , only God does this.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I think people should do what works best for them and their relationship as long as they're both on the same page with that.

[Whatthefluff]

It's up to them. If they're waiting to live together, though, they should definitely have a trial run of what it will be like living together.

[TheLoneTerran]

I would strongly suggest there be a period of time where they live together. It's good to know what boundaries both will have, what house rules both agree too and the like. Makes for a smoother transition after marriage. Marrying someone is already ridiculously stressful, having something concrete like previous experience living together will go a long way in helping get through that stress.

Plus, there's no use in pretending that they won't have sex. Sexual compatibility is critical in most healthy marriages; it's also a deep source of intimacy for both. Knowing you're compatible at home and the bedroom will make life a hell of a lot easier.

[Anonymous]

Only a moron would wait until they are legally bound to someone to see if they are compatible the live together. For a lot of people it's actually about appearances, but your god knows the truth.

And to that end, waiting to have sex until marriage is also unwise unless you have no interest outside of procreation. If you find yourselves sexually incompatible either it will eliminate a major part of adult life for you, reducing you to glorified roommates, or someone (possibly both) will find themselves regularly subjected to marital rape as they really won't want it.

[Alexis1313]

What's wrong with these people amiright?

[Aerissa_Jade]

Having lived with a few boyfriend's I'd say wait until marriage.

Now I will say the most important thing is that people live on their own before ever trying to live with someone else.

Its a terrible idea to move from parents right in with a SO... such a bad bad idea.

Live at least two years on their own before moving in.

[TruthBringer]

If it is truly a serious relationship going on for years, then I think the next step is actually finding out whether you are compatible living together. It is different compared to traveling and being with each other for a couple of weeks. It sure is the ultimate test to see whether compatibility is truly there.

[Kaamraj]

Any relationship including marriage is an exchange between a man's resource provisioning exclusivity and female's sexual-reproductive exclusivity. A live in relationship typically benefits the male as he's getting the sex without the commitment. And that will be picked up on by other men who would not want to commit for something another man has gotten without the commitment.

[MzAsh]

A woman shouldn’t live with a man unless he’s sexually monogamous to her and her only.

[Guy__]

I'm sure there are women who will disagree, some are naturally not monogamous.
Even marriage doesn't have that big effect on whether people choose to stay monogamous.

[MzAsh]

Those are exceptions, not the rule.

[IveGotNoName]

Whatever they want. Personally I'm not waiting for marriage. I think it's a step that should come before marriage, as it helps the two people to get to know each other even more, sometimes negatively, which is all something you want to know before tying the knot.

[bucketofsmile]

Marriage first. You live with your partner bevausevyou are married. And you marry her because you love her. Willing to be prepared is a good thing. But living together first for the sake of "trying" or "preparation" is mislet in my opinion. Prepare with faith vs prepare with fear

Because you won't be able to control or prevent everything, and you need sometimes to learn right to the cold water.

[ChiTown33]

I'm a traditionalist. I think people should wait until marriage. However I'm cognizant of the world we live in today and I know to EXPECT people to stick to that tradition is probably fighting a losing battle.
I don't think people should at the very least be engaged first though.

[Crankor]

There are thi gs you can't know about your partner until you have lives with them. Like their habits and routines, how they take care of themselves based on their living arrangement. Def shouldn't jump right into a move either. Take your time to really know the person in different situations first

[Whatever2929292]

From a Christian perspective it depends. There are a few things such as saying your vows in front of God or if the couple is not having sex.

Other then that I think it depends on the relationship. As well as the two people involved

[Reaper1985]

Honestly cohabitation can help them to learn each other’s habits and quirks provided their moral or religion allows it. But they should be in an exclusive relationship for 5+ years before considering marriage and/or children.

[sheikalana]

After getting married sounds good to me. I do agree that you should spend some time together before getting married to see if you're both compatible or not like spending weekends together or going on vacation together.

[CountryWanderer]

This is good advice, in my opinion

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Personally, I have to live with my prospective partner before I commit to marriage.

I can't make a commitment to a lifelong partnership if I don't know what it's like to *live* with my partner.

[Emiliamazing]

We were engaged when we moved in together. His lease was up and it made financial sense. We both wanted marriage, that had been established. Just hit 19 years of wedded bliss🥰

[Static_In_The_Attic]

I’m all for living together because if you two can’t make it work before marriage it probably won’t work after marriage.

[HopefulGuy94]

I was asking myself about why the ones who had lived together before marriage are also the one whose marriages last not so long when compared to those who wait until marrige? Hmm kinda confusin' ...

[HighValue]

Live together. You don't really know someone until you have lived with them, even if you dated them for a long time it isn't the same as living together.

[Jamie05rhs]

You're supposed to wait for marriage to have sex. Nobody ever said anything about living together.


... However, I don't want my fiancee sleeping in the same house with me at night.

[MTC29]

Getting the girl to move into my house wasn't nearly as tough as my having to throw her out!

Take no one into your home until marriage.

[faithgrace4u]

wait tell marriage if you do it before marriage then what is there to wait for

[jshm2]

Eh... they are less likely to be married if they are cohabiting already.

All the risk, none of the security.

[RobT312]

Live together! It’s a good test to see if marriage is a good or bad idea

[AFretiredTXn]

Agree

[Chiarac2003]

I don’t think they should properly live together b4 marriage

[Freyke]

I think it's good to live together beforehand. The more you already do, the more certain you'll be about that marriage.

[AssholeNumberOne]

Honestly, you should say 'fuck their opinions' and do what you think is right. Forget us. Just go with your gut, kid.

[Anonymous]

Depends if you like divorce or not.

Living together is the best way to find out if you guys have a long term future or whether one of you will be on the phone to a lawyer before long.

[Crepe_tart]

Live together. You start knowing the real him and your real you living together

[Grond21]

Living together before marriage increases the chance of Divorce by over 50%. It's the single worst thing you can do if you want your marriage to fail

[Little_Bumblebee]

I think it's a good idea to live together before getting married

[TommyMountainFigure]

No couple's circumstances are the same, so that is for the pair of them to discuss.

[Valso]

The whole point of living together is to find out if they're compatible for a life together. How are they supposed to find that out, if they live separately before the marriage? 😆

[sheenagwapa]

i'm so sure of Jesus existence especially bow so definitely no to premaritax sex

[Alexis1313]

Is this a serious question in 2022?

Take it back to the dark ages.

[nofilterhonesty]

IT would be better to know if you are compatible with living together before you jump the gun.

[kinggeorge007]

Should live together after some time so they can get to know what they are in their natural habitat. That's very important.

[msc545]

If you've known each other long enough i think you should probably live together. That is a lot better than getting divorced soon after you've gotten married and moved in together for the first time.

[Drumlin2001]

Live together. Find out each other habits before you commit

[coolchick900]

I made that mistake of moving in with my ex partner while we together he turned out to be wrong person so I jumped the gun. I think boyfriend and girlfriend should live together if they a match made out of heaven before taking that big step.

[Staximus]

Anybody who doesn't live together before marriage is stupid. You need to know if you enjoy, hate, or can tolerate living with somebody.

[standardguy]

Morally they should wait for marriage!
What for are you marrying if all is like before?

[Iron_Man]

You can wait until after marriage unless you have your own separate bedrooms

[lofii]

They should live together after about a year.

Living together will give you an idea if you can actually last as a couple.

[Zolly99999]

They should absolutely live together first. It's like a test drive. To see how things will be after marriage

[Pito123]

If they follow a religion that forbids relationships before marriage then they should wait until marriage.

[collie22]

i think they should do some humping before hand just to make sure there compatible

[HaveNoName]

Any meaningful guidance should be taken from your religion. Everything else is just popular opinion.

[Luopio27]

I think all adults should do what feels right for them.

[jammcm]

Wait, you will be together a lot longer when you get married.

[Adderallman4422]

Test the waters first and see how it go's, there's no reason to jump straight into marriage before living together

[driven159]

In these economic times if they are happy then by all means yes

[Guanfei]

Obviously. How can you know if you can live together when married if you don't try it before?

[OddBeMe]

Love together. Dear god. Why do you think divorce is so high?

[CountryWanderer]

Living together before marriage actually increases the chance of divorce later

[OddBeMe]

@CountryWanderer and your source for this?

[CountryWanderer]

So, that stat might be outdated

See the Atlantic article about divorce and cohabitation

[Guy__]

Sounds like a correlation, but not a causation. Whoever is more selective also doesn't live with as many people. But if you found the right one you better get to know them very well.

[meggyh2000]

It's their choice honestly really in the modern world you dont really need to be married to live in the same house

[Jabberjaw]

Statistically a bad choice for lasting marriages

[dustybiker]

Never ever get married before you know a person.

[D_Bone_Steak]

I think they should really live together first.

[slatyb]

Live together one year, then set a date.

[exitseven]

It is really a personal decision.

[KennethNoisewater]

Always test drive before you buy.