Should couples move in together before marriage or wait until after?

Question

Vesuvius87 · Accepted Answer

That's something that should be discussed within a couple. They need to be on the same page on their goals, whether it's getting married eventually or just living together for years.

Personally, I think it's best to move in together when they're already engaged and have a wedding date set up. There were several studies that indicated that couples with an extended dating period of over 6 years (boyfriend and girlfriend), whom just recently got married actually leads to a divorce later on.

In addition, like someone else mentioned... there were too many stories of women thinking moving in with a boyfriend is a step towards marriage when in reality it's not. It's just living together, nothing else. Many of those women have been waiting years from their proposals, only to find out he's never going to marry them. He got too comfortable with the ''forever live-in girlfriend'' situation. At that point it becomes more of a prolonged friends with benefits arrangement, where the man is receiving all the benefits of a relationship without any responsibilities. Not good on the woman. Not good for her fertile years either if she wants kids within a marriage.

Simslover92 · Accepted Answer

It honestly depends on the couple. There are some couples who are super religious where that just wouldn't work. But I think that if you're not super religious or practicing abstinence or celibacy, then moving in together might be a good thing to see if you're truly compatible in living arrangements and living styles. I think it's very important to find that out before marriage. It will really test the relationship and challenge it either for the better or for the worse.

GuyAnswersGirls123 · Accepted Answer

My wife and I did for over a year before our marriage (now over 15 years, happily), and maybe it wasn't necessary with her since it turned out so peaceful. Yet I'd still insist it was a safe bet.

However, before her, I was engaged to be married to an ex-girlfriend and living together was a disaster. It changed the whole dynamics of our relationship. We broke things off and had we gotten married before that, it likely would have led to a divorce.

Maybe it depends on how good we are at judging characters. I'm apparently not a good judge because I thought everything was going to work so well with that ex, and was willing to do anything to make it work. I thought I was a good one but I wasn't. Now I think I've gotten better -- my wife was definitely a keeper, and now I think I know what makes a keeper. But I didn't know that back then, and living together helped me to know for sure she was.

SixFootSexy · Accepted Answer

If you’re on the fence about cohabitation or marriage, the key is to be intentional about your choice. Cohabitation can seem like a low-stakes way to test compatibility, but it sometimes leads to “relationship inertia,” where couples stay together out of convenience rather than real commitment. If your partner wants to be with you but not aligned with you on goals such as future marriage or family, then cohabiting is only delaying the inevitable rift that will break up the relationship.

On the flip side, marriage offers legal and emotional security, but it also comes with financial risks and a loss of personal freedom if things go south. The best move is to communicate openly and in-depth about your long-term goals, expectations, and values before taking the next step.

Look up cohabitation vs marriage and relationship longevity studies. Interesting facts.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Jumping into your question with heart eyes! 💕 Moving in together before marriage can offer a sneak peek into your partner's quirks! It's like a test drive without the dealership pressure. Plus, it might help sift through any hidden red flags before exchanging vows. On the flip side, waiting can keep that mystery alive and kickin'. Whatever floats your love boat! 🚢❤️ Remember, no one's gotten a relationship right by just following the textbook! 😉

Finchie40 · Answer

Wiser to move in together first , so you both know if you can live together without wanting to strangle each other lol

HawkPerception · Answer

Better to move in together before marriage so you know what living with them is going to be like. Do you not test drive a car before buying it? And I'd say that marriage is an even more important decision than a car.

AviatorTom · Answer

Whatever works is fine; let the couple decide. In my first marriage, we moved in together about 2 months before the wedding. In my second (current) marriage, I moved in after we got married.

ohsheeT · Answer

The best way to get to know someone and understand them is to live with them Fir sure it's an experience that you need to experience it will teach you a lot about yourself and your partner

Summeroflove · Answer

What’s right for one couple isn’t necessarily right for another. This is a case by case basis

FreyaRed · Answer

Before marriage. One of my friends caught his boyfriend putting empty wine bottles in his rectum after she asked herself why does he take hours long baths sessions with empty champagne and wine bottles. I think this wasn't the answer she expected and would want in guy she considered as marriage material. She is still traumatized since she is an delicate and petite elf like girl coming from loving pious catholic family who cherished and cared for her until she landed under my demonic wings. lol. However this guy was her own idea.
Now back to topic. You should test your potential spouse in any pleasant and less pleasant environments and situation before you marry them. This isn't possible without living a white together.

natured · Answer

YES MOVE IN TOGETHER BEFORE MARRIAGE!!!
Because when you live with your partner you will actually see their true colors , believe it or not, it saved my LIFE !!!
So absolutely , live together, see how it is, it can either be amazing or very very disturbing...

slatyb · Answer

What are their goals? Do one or both of them want to be married? If so, then when they move in together they should set a decision date. If they aren't planning a wedding, then they will break up. We see too many questions on GAG from women who have been waiting years for a proposal.

desidoll · Answer

I did something different but almost similar. We lived together for like a month or two then he would move back to his place. We did this for a few years just to see if we are really compatible. It works and now we are married.

I do think that moving in together has more risk in a long run just in case if things don’t work out. There would be a lot of issues to settle and worse is if both of you own the house. (Shared mortgage).

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

Depends where in time people live.

Some decades ago, it was an acceptable risk to be married to someone who could turn out to be unbearable in a daily, domestic context. In recent developments, people seem to be less willing to take such risks, for their own sanity.

I sympathize with the former category. Reckless people of the past are cute.

Nenee430748 · Answer

if you have good communication you’ll be fine to have teamwork and cook, clean, and more. The house is just an object people need to work on their relationships honestly that’s the problem which involves listening, communicating properly because your partner doesn’t know what you’re thinking lol, loyalty, being caring, romantic, and more. Me and my husband lived separately then moved in once we got married and we’ve been married for a couple of years. The way I hear some of these couples argue is so crazy and strange lately is sad. no couple is perfect but it could all be fixed with some simple things.

Blunky · Answer

I don't see how you can be sure you want to marry someone without knowing whether or not you can even live together. Being around each other all the time and actually living in a home together can be drastically different feelings. Not enjoying living at home together builds resentment that eventually erodes the relationship and enhances the need to escape.

Tamera952 · Answer

Does anybody wait till after marriage these days? …I mean, really? Only after you walk down the aisle, you figure out that your dumbass husband is a pig, & doesn’t know how to do laundry or dishes? …. no way, fuck that.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

For myself, I would want to move in first to see if I was compatible with living with her. There might be things that you notice about your partner that you can't really live with, etc. Others might feel differently.

Kayla45 · Answer

You’ll never know if you truly like someone unless you live with them, getting married before hand is very much like a dice roll in what you get.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

definitely before, to check if the real relationship is possible :D

fuddly · Answer

Bad for the woman
Good for the man

But it's common practice these days

The danger is the man will get bored with the sex and look around. Not bored with the sex exactly but just curious about what else is there.

Especially for 18 yo girl that's too young to move in together.

I'd say hold off

Grond21 · Answer

That choice of living together has been extensively studied and the data is clear. It is the single most destructive choice if you want a successful marriage.

Alex-Snow · Answer

We all have different values and cultures. But I think moving or living together before marriage is a good idea. One can see if you get along, manage household chores etc together and ofc see how compatible your sex life is together.

beldath · Answer

Depends on the person. In the long run, you don't really know what a person is like until you live with them.
Personally I'm never getting married again. That leaves it to staying separate always, or move in.

fantasticass · Answer

Yes, you need to live together for at least one year. It's the cheapest investment for you and your relationship. I'm not referring to money.. Good luck 🤞

DJB72 · Answer

Wait. Various studies have demonstrated that divorce is way more common between couples who have cohabited before marriage.

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

If a couple can’t play house before a marriage it will be difficult to play house after the marriage.

Taylor_C · Answer

Before. How else would they get to know each other well enough to know if they even want to get married or not?

Joshydavid25 · Answer

I personally prefer to wait til marriage to move in with her.. Since marriages tend to work better when people wait to move in.. But if it's financially better, then, whatever they wanna do..

trumpetplayerforlife · Answer

I feel like it's up to the couple but you never know if the other person is like to live with and can cause more issues or arguments in my opinion

Abbycado · Answer

I say before. Best to know what you are dealing with first.

DCVsMarvel · Answer

Maybe a trial run or something, but don't just full on move before marriage. You may wind up regretting who you moved in with, and then you're basically stuck

It's one of the reasons I don't want marriage

BCRanger10 · Answer

They should wait until after they get married.

__Nikki__ · Answer

I couldn't have imagined marrying someone I hadn't lived with

EmmaMary · Answer

Most definitely before... You wouldn't buy a new car without test driving it first!

molonski2 · Answer

You certainly 100% need to live together firstly.

PrincessC16 · Answer

Absolutely! You really don't know a person until you live with them.

sawno · Answer

Definitely before and ideally not sign a government contract.

DrPepper12 · Answer

MINIMUM two years living together before marriage! You DO NOT know someone until you live with them!!

Staximus · Answer

They should live together for at least a year before marriage so they know if it's going to work or not. You don't truly know somebody until you live with them.

lilBigPotato · Answer

You need to know how living together is before getting married...

HighValue · Answer

Live together first. You don't really know someone until you live together first.

RavVid · Answer

Before. It is the only way to find out if you can live comfortably together.

jshm2 · Answer

They should not be cohabiting at all until on the lease, or mortgage.

chocolatetwopointo · Answer

its stupid to wait until after marriage, what if they’re a terrible person to live with?

soe11 · Answer

I think moving towards better marriage. Reasons are get know each other in depth, so can be safely in marriage life.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Before. Get to know each others flaws. Bit late when you're married

Mac-One · Answer

We did it before marriage after we had a committed relationship.

bunny234 · Answer

before, living together is a whole other animal. you dont know someone until you live together.

ChicoFromThe305 · Answer

Probably wait, unless they always have a way to return to how they were before moving in

blackeagle007 · Answer

That’s a good question there. I’d hate for a fallout to occur just right after moving in. So maybe live together first

Anonymous · Answer

After but they should play house so they know what living with each other would be like

Babygirl_S · Answer

Move in together! How can you gamble with your life the way we do in India?

Manuelwe · Answer

Did you have sex before marriage or after marriage.  If you can have sex before marriage why not move in too

Anonymous · Answer

Whenever possible they should move in afterwards. But I realize not every situation is the same.

XxBella08 · Answer

I think couples should definitely move in together before marriage because dating someone is very different than living with someone.

Somec · Answer

LIve together and see how much you don't know about your partner before it gets very expensive to leave.

slimshady026 · Answer

They'll settle down if they get married, since they want it so much. If they do it before marriage, they'll go astray.

MikeTheGreek79_ · Answer

Yes test it out if you’ll like living with them before you’s get married.

loveyouoak · Answer

They should wait until marriage.

Anonymous · Answer

I’m gonna say after with how bad my relationship went

NicholasRedone · Answer

Move in before ; always

Jamie05rhs · Answer

They should live together during the daytime.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

After marriage is the norm

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