Am I being too dramatic about a gun in the house?

[Anonymous]

Okay so my boyfriend has a registered gun and it makes me so uncomfortable for it to have it in the s house and he says it for protection and it could save my life one day and refuses to get rid of it and it told him several times it makes me nervous and I told him at least put it outside on balcony on a bag and I did that myself and when he put it back the the house without me knowing

I am also worried because he has really bad anger problems and a coke problem
I’m just trying to feel safe.. but he makes it seem like my worries are nothing or invalid or I’m being dramatic
I also recently found at shot gun in the house too and I just packed up my stuff n left
am I being dramatic does everyone else have a gun at home?

Updates

1 y

Thank you so much everyone I really think it’s the owner and my trauma because I feel scared of his anger issues even when we are driving and (the gun isn’t in the car) he gets mad at a driver and starts cussing and speeding like crazy feel like I’m on a roller coaster so yes he does scare me and also my trauma because like 4 woman in my family have been killed by their bfs );

Updates

1 y

I know it’s easy to judge me for being with someone like that but honestly he didn’t do coke when I met him
The anger issues I knew about first
When I was staying with him I wasn’t working & he took me in paid for all the bills so yes I was very financially dependent on him and I’m not from this area and it’s hard to just get up leave and move on with nothing with no one to help you but I finallly got the courage too leave. & no I don’t do any drugs.

[Screenwriter]

The problem isn't the gun, it's the gun's owner. This guy has "really bad anger problems" and he's a drug abuser. I'm glad you left. You weren't living in a safe situation.

If this guy was abusing coke, he was also obtaining it illegally. Don't get yourself in such a situation again. Glad you had the common sense to know this wasn't good.

Someone who cared about you would at least invest in a gun safe where the weapon or weapons were locked away and invisible.

Next time, make your fears and worries clear before you move in with someone so this is never an issue.

[Subarugirl]

I have a gun at home, grew up with them. Guns don’t make me nervous, people do

[Asker]

That’s true makes perfect sense thank you helps me put things into perspective

[crossdressingrihno]

Having a gun in the house shouldn't be a problem.
However it sounds like your boyfriend husband whatever is a problem and shouldn't own a gun.
Also never leave a gun outside I don't care if you're on the second third fourth 20th story never leave a gun outside you are begging for it to be stolen or even worse for it to be stolen and then used on you during a home invasion because you bet your ass if a home invader sees a free gun they're going to use it.

Anyways ditch the guy and probably let the authorities know about his behavior and the fact that he has a gun

[zeitgeist057]

I saw your update and so it seems you've found your answer and I just want to add GREAT JOB and with 4 women in your family being killed EXCELLENT WORK not putting yourself at risk to be the 5th. Keep it up, you took a great step in the right direction getting away from that relationship.

[Asker]

Thanks you so much yes I have my answer I know it’s not the object it’s self. I’m trying my best

[Anonymous]

Ok so guns by them selves aren’t the problem. They won’t magically kill you. They need a human to work.
What is concerning here is that you say he had an anger problem and a cocaine problem.


If he bought that hand gun legally he had to fill out a form stating he is not a user of or addicted to illegal drugs. You say he is using coke. He lied on a federal document and illegally purchased that handgun.


Anger + cocaine+ guns should not be mixed.


You made the right call getting out of there.
Don’t go back. He is a problem.


Is he a drug dealer or a gang member or something? It’s your call but I’d at the least consider going to the police. This guy sounds like a problem waiting to happen

[NZGirl07]

If he wasn't a drug addict or didn't have an anger problem I would say that having a gun in the house is a personal choice. However, his behavior is toxic and abusive, and him having a gun puts you in grave danger. You do not want to be another statistic of a woman murdered by her partner. I am glad you left and you should stay away. Find a man who is sober, respectful and agrees with your values.

[MissUnknownn]

My boyfriend also has a gun. I felt very uncomfortable when I first met him and wanted nothing to do with it.

Then he showed me he know how to handle it properly. He took me out shooting and I got to learn about it.

Not really keen on shooting it. But I certainly feel safer now knowing he does have it.

The world is a scary place. See if he will lock it in a gun safe at least. If he invalidates you instead of finding a solution that also makes you comfortable.

I would say it's safe to leave.

[dustybiker]

I wouldn’t be worried about the gun. I’d be worried about his skills. How good a shot is he? Have you even offered to see his side and find out things like that before freaking out? Is he a nervous person? Or clear head? Responsible? I’d lean more to how he is as a person armed than being armed generally. (Looked from a neutral standpoint.)

[Oigit]

I'd say that his anger issues and coke addiction are what make his guns dangerous. Because even without them, his anger and addiction issues make him dangerous in general. Him having those issues and access to firearms make him more dangerous then he is otherwise. Also even if he decided to get rid of the guns, he still wouldn't be the kind of person you need to be around anyway.

[exitseven]

I have one but it is in a gun safe. I feel pretty comfortable with that. I expect I will feel better the more I train. Maybe you should ask him to teach you how to shoot. I just fired it this week. I was a little nervous mostly because I thought I would embarrass myself but I feel better about it today.

[Emilyis]

We have guns in the house and I grew up with guns in the house and YES I have a consealed hand gun license but I am very good with a defender 12 guage and I get a deer with my dad every year since I was 12. Break into my house after dark and flash will be the last you see on this this earth.

[Anonymous]

I’m under the impression if someone is unstable they should not have a gun. If you’re uncomfortable with the mix of his guns and his behavior you have a right to be. What if gets mad at you in a coke induced mania, pulls it out, and shoots you. On the other hand I do think a gun is a good thing to have, again if you’re stable. It all comes down to feeling and being safe.

[Anonymous]

Honestly i think you both have problems. You sound extremely afraid and these types of issues are usually just common sense solved. If he has a gun, it shouldn’t be a problem if it’s locked in a case that is locked and not able to be opened without a key or some type of password. If the gun isn’t safely secured, then it just means he isn’t a responsible gun owner. You seem afraid of him just driving and having anger issues. And you say he does coke? Well it sounds like you have a lot more issues than just a gun. Why would you date someone who does hard drugs like that? Even without a gun? You have 4 friends killed by their boyfriend? Sounds like your friends have terrible choice in men. Maybe get choose more reliable nice and responsible boyfriends.

[BeMuse]

Guns are just tools. Putting them outside in random bags for kids or criminals to find is more dangerous than having them in your home. Get a gun safe and have him lock them up inside until he needs them. To me it sounds more like you don't trust your boyfriend. You mentioned he has anger issues and a coke problem.

[Phoenix98]

If your partner has anger issues and a coke addiction then a gun in the house is the least of your worries.

Also I’ve grown up around guns all my life they’re just tools. They don’t make me nervous people however do.

Behind every a gun is a person pointing it at you and pulling the trigger with intent. Take away the gun and you still have a dangerous and unstable individual who wants to kill you they’re just gonna use a different tool or means to get it done.

[Zeldaismyqueen]

I will never date a man who owns a gun… there is something wrong with him if he feels like he needs a weapon designed to murder people

[SlickRick24]

You would rather let someone hurt you than defend yourself or your family? If someone is trying to hurt you and they have a gun you are 100% vulnerable. Guns keep people safe I couldn’t imagine watching someone hurt someone I love because I didn’t have a gun to protect them.

[Zeldaismyqueen]

@SlickRick24 I don't live in a shithole so I don't have to worry about "defending myself" lol... where do you live that is so awful that you feel like you need a gun to protect yourself? And why haven't you moved from that horrible place?

[SlickRick24]

I live in a small town it’s pretty safe but no where is 100% safe. Guns are a peace of mind thing knowing that I can defend my loved ones is important to me. It’s not only where I live but it can be anywhere in a parking lot, broken down on the side of the road, you name it something bad can happen in any situation like that. You don’t really know anyone around you outside of close friends and neighbors. Anything can happen at anytime and if that time comes I am prepared because I am not willing to lose someone I care about.

[Zeldaismyqueen]

@SlickRick24 you sound paranoid, like do you also carry around a defibrillator in case you get atrial fibrillations? If you live in a safe town then isn’t it smarter to carry a defibrillator than a gun, if what you care about is safety? You don’t seem to make sense…

[Fromdusktilldawn]

You're being dramatic. It was the same with me. I always wanted to have a gun and my mother was very uncomfortable and scared, that was 8 years ago. Now there are 4 guns in the house and there was never an issue.
After some time she accepted it and it was ok

Even though here in Europe laws are very strict and you have to store them in a way you cannot in a safe and ammo in another and only usage for sports, for self defense its forbidden.

[DCPowered]

I'd say you should leave because of the gun owner not the gun. The fact that the gun bothers you means you don't trust the guy using it.

[mobiusforniner]

I'd say yes, you're being too dramatic until I saw "anger problems" and "coke problems" and am now like, hell, is this even a question?

[DizzyDesii]

The boy is a cokehead and the gun makes you feel unsafe? I mean im not a fan of guns either but the problem is the cokehead who needs anger management. I would move out immediately and breakup until he graduates rehab and anger management

[DizzyDesii]

@update Im glad you left

[Helpmepls12345]

I am proud of you for leaving. My dad had 3 guns in the house and when me and my sisters told him we didn’t want them in the house cause we were scared the next day he got rid of them

[annabananna]

My husband has a gun but he keeps it locked in a safe which is what I think anyone with a gun should do. I would be worried about him having a coke problem and a gun. Addicts and guns are a scary mix. Be careful.

[Curmudgeon]

You should be glad he cares enough about you. Now if you two start having rugrats in the future, then start taking more precautions until they are old enough to learn.

[slatyb]

"I am also worried because he has really bad anger problems and a coke problem " Why are you with him? He sounds dangerous with or without a gun. Is he the only man on your planet?