Ready for a baby but he isn't?

[Addie1998]

Myself and my fiancé have been together for 7 years now, have recently brought our first house together too. We are approaching our mid-twenty's now too, we also both have secure and good jobs.

I have recently started to become really broody and feel ready to have a baby with my fiancé but he has made it very clear that he doesn't feel the same way which I totally understand but my feelings of broddiness are really taking over. We have tried talking about it but we don't seem to get anywhere. I 100% respect how he feels but I also can't help how I'm feeling.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[HollyK21]

You have one of two options, and that is being patient or leaving him and finding a man who is ready for fatherhood now. Being a dad is not something you should push the issue on just because you are “feeling broody”. That is the perfect way to set a child up for having a dad who will treat him badly, be uninvolved, or a cocktail of all those negative things and you’d be to blame. Parenting in general is a massive commitment, so very responsible of your fiancé to tell you he’s not ready, rather than giving you a baby just so you could get off his back and being miserable and irresponsible for the rest of his life. Step out of selfishness and step into understanding/patience.

[Addie1998]

I'm happy to wait as it really does need to be a mutual decision but I'm really struggling to control my broodiness.

[HollyK21]

You could wait until you’re married, because at least he does want kids and it’s not a thing to where he doesn’t.

[HollyK21]

Also, if this tags @guy13, I’d love to see where this alleged rage is and why he felt the need to say that and then block me lol quite childish.

[RHK36]

Sounds like you have two options. Stay in your current relationship and realize you might not ever have kids with him or move on from him. Depends on how bad you really want kids.

[Addie1998]

He says that he will want kids one day just not yet so I don't want to leave him but my feeling of broodiness are there all day everyday.

[Avicenna]

That’d one of those things a couple needs to be in full agreement on

[Addie1998]

I mean we agree that we will have kids he's just not ready yet.

[Avicenna]

Yeah, you have to agree on the timing as well. Taking care of a baby is a lot of work, even if both parents are there to do it. It's even harder if you're by yourself.

[Avicenna]

Is he worried about the financial impact? Try to find out why he isn't ready and address that.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

If you are ready for a baby & he isn’t maybe you two should practice more.

[Addie1998]

Believe me we get enough practice

[Intothevoid666]

Well the world economy will most likely go into a recession if not a depression in the not so far future just something to think about. I’d make 100% sure u are absolutely 100% financially stable before having kids atm

[Iron_Man]

Why don’t you get married already how long have you been fiancé and then have a baby

[Addie1998]

We've been engaged for nearly 3 years and are planning our wedding for 2023 or 2024 but that seems like a long time away.

[Iron_Man]

If anything make it 2023 no reason to wait till 2024

[Iron_Man]

Especially if you’re already living together

[Addie1998]

It all comes down to availability as lots of places are fully booked next year.

[Guy13]

It sounds like you’re stuck.

[Guy13]

Have you two gone for full medical? Physical etc…. Did you exchange files? I have family member in exact same situation. Conservatively, 500,000 household income.
—Why? I know his medical background. He does not want to pass this aspect of himself on. It ends with him.

[Addie1998]

He is perfectly healthy and is reasoning for not waiting a child yet is because he wants to enjoy life for longer as just us.

[Guy13]

Well then…I guess he doesn’t see you as a fit Baby Momma. It seems you have different Wants out of life. Too bad there is not some medical reason…

[HollyK21]

This is silly advice lol no offense. Just because he isn’t ready to be a dad does not mean that he thinks she’s an unfit mother. They’re not even halfway through their 20s, he mostly likely just wants to enjoy not being a dad before committing to that massive responsibility.

[Guy13]

Don’t be SO Obtuse. It’s something to think about. It would be Silly no to consider it.

[HollyK21]

You know what obtuse means right? Because what I see here is the exact opposite, and it is what most would call a REACH, and actually pretty rude towards the asker. Could we consider it? Sure. But you didn’t word it as a consideration. There were no maybes or what-ifs. You said “well then, I guess he doesn’t see you as a fit baby mama”. That is an accusation, and an unfair one at that.

[Guy13]

You PMSing with your raging fit?

[In_Trance]

Something's got to give

[Addie1998]

I know and for now it looks like we won't be having a baby yet.