My girlfriend is not emotionally open to me in our relationship. What should I do?

[rehanQ]

Me (18 ) and my girlfriend (18 ) have been dating for almost a year now and over time we have started fighting more and now she is hyper independent and doesn't like to tell me anything about how she feels. When I try talking to her about it she says she has already tried a lot and doesn't want to change anymore in any way. I have also suggested therapy but she doesn't want to go. I do realise that I have been an unsafe person to share feelings with and have sometimes reacted badly which has contributed to this but I want to fix it and she says that she can't fix and will never open up to anyone... I'm lost and I don't know what to do. Obviously emotional intimacy means a lot to me... what can I do?

[Anonymous]

How emotionally open are you about your feelings? You can’t expect her to be open if you’re not open as well… she may not be great at communicating for other reasons as well. If she’s had traumatic experiences you can’t expect to fix them overnight. Just try and give her a bit of space, you might be clingier than you think and she might not be able to handle that well.

[rehanQ]

I am pretty open about my feelings and express them regularly

[rehanQ]

She has had a rough childhood and has been closed off for the majority of her life too