How can I overcome the Disney Mindset?

[Anonymous]

Since I was a kid I always dreamed of the day of getting married. I would make lists of all the traits I wanted in my future husband. However, now that I’m grown, I’ve realized how toxic that mindset is. I don’t want to keep thinking that a man will save all my problems, or make my life 100% complete. I want to be able to focus on myself and become the best and healthy version of myself.

After realizing the toxic traits that my parents have and hearing negative stories from friends about their ex’s and from social media, it really takes a toll on my mental thinking that it’s best for me to just remain single for the rest of my life.

I still do desire to get married but I just want to stop expecting that some fairy tail miracle will happen to me. Help 🥺

[Jadeli]

You have already figured it out. You know what you want and you know what you need.

Most of grew up with that mindset, of a happily ever after. It is heartbreaking to find out how false that all is, but the only way to overcome that mindset is to face reality as it is. One man for himself. Noone will take care of you on this Earth except for yourself.

Marriage itself isn't a fairytale. But it is real love between a man and woman. It is full of struggle.
It just doesn't come like that ( as in the way a prince just appears and then love at first sight)
but the two work and face obstacles together to keep their love strong.
So you will meet your one, not just the way the princesses meet their prince charmings.

I hope this is helpful.

[Asker]

Thank you 🥹

[hoqhuuep]

The main thing in my opinion is to go out and meet some real guys and get to know them and you can take it slow if you want, but I don't think the problem here is high expectations Disney gave you, which you now seem to have replaced with the low expectations your friends gave you. The problem is too much theory and too little practice. Too much fantasy and too little reality.

Perhaps things are neither as perfect as Disney portrays them, nor as horrible as your friends portray them.