People eventually meet the family/friends of who they are in a relationship with, because they find it important in the relationship… Do YOU think it’s important in a relationship to meet each other’s family and friends? My answer: I think it’s very important in my relationship for me and my partner to meet each other’s parents/family. If I plan to marry my partner, I would like to at least meet or have a good relationship with my partners family, and vice versa. I would also like my family to meet their family. I grew up with my dad being close to his in laws (my mom’s family), and I really loved how involved and included he was in my mom’s side of the family… That is why I think meeting family is important in relationships :-)
Yes, I think it is important (explain why).
No, I don’t think it is important (explain why)
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Do you think meeting each other’s family/friends is important in relationships?
I've heard it said that when you marry someone, you're also marrying their family. This often times translates to characteristics in your partner that you might not notice now, but meeting their parents and family would give you a good prediction on what your partner could turn into down the road. Also, there's always a good chance, but not guaranteed, that you eventually have to meet them anyway, so why not get used to being around them to get a good acquaintance and right standing with people you might have to be involved for the sake of your partner?
You might even bond well enough with your in-laws to the point where, should you and your partner separate, you might still have people on her side of the family who would still help you out in life. Who knows?
Also, in cases of emergencies, disasters, etc.. God knows what the future will bring? It's when family's band together in times like those that you realize no man is an island, and sometimes, even if you don't think so, you will eventually need people. Friends can come and go, but honestly, family is family until you die, by blood or bond. Though I know there are exceptions to this, when certain families or family members can be a literal danger to you, but I think the general principle here is still pretty consistent.
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Most Helpful Opinions
Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
I'm going to say yes. Because I'm very close with my family. And if they don't like her we're probably not going to work. However I realize not everyone is close with their family. But whether she is or not I still want to meet her's. Because it will tell you a lot about her. Also I think it's traditional for the guy to meet her dad. A father is the "guardian" (so to speak) of the daughter. It's disrespectful to NOT meet him. He needs to approve of you so to speak, and if his doesn't you need to convince him and allay and concerns he might have about you. I speak from experience as my nephew DIDN'T do this. He took the cowardly way out and it has cost him in his relationship if you ask me. First of all he never met her father (mistake 1). He never married her and he got her pregnant. Now had he met the father he might have ended the relationship before any of this happened. The father is very manipulative. Even though my nephew and her are together, she prefers to remain living at her parents home, and only let's my nephew see the child occasionally. And it's almost like her parents are trying to control her. Because if she does anything that displeased them they shun her. And she capitulates to please them. If she was still a kid that would be one thing but she's over 30 now. My nephew in my opinion did the wrong thing by not meeting her parents and it has cost him immeasurably. Guys meet her parents!
Very important. Imagine you end up wanting to marry the person and your family has never met them. Would be strange! You also want to make sure they get along with your family (I couldn’t be with someone who hated my family and didn’t want to be around them. Some families are different where they dislike your partner and don’t support the relationship but all because of their own bitterness or maybe your family get on well with them because they’re just like your horrible family. Sometimes family/friends will be able to see your partner for who they are as you’d tend to look at your partner with rose tinted glasses.
Just meet the family and see what you’re getting yourself into.
Yes, I want us to be involved in each others life, not like we need to share every hobby/interest, but the general social life for sure. My good friends also meet each other and my family now and then. It would be very weird to separate it for me. If they would not get a long at all I think it could also mean a clash of our values. My family and friends are important to me, and I do things with them I enjoy. If he don't want to participate in that it is a cut out of a lot of my life. I also want to get to know his family/upbringing and get a feeling of his values via the friends he has.
If you want a successful long term relationship, you must do all you can to be accepted and liked by his family. You never want him to be in a position where he feels he must choose between you and them, and that may arise if they do not like you. Even if he chooses you over his family, he will miss spending time with his family, eventually regret it, and you will be blamed.
Yes, meeting his family is extremely mportant, but it should not be rushed. Usually somewhere between 3 to 6 months after you start dating works okay.
Super important! If you haven’t met any of his friends and family, that means he’s not serious or sure of you yet… and it gives me an idea of his life and vice versa. Unless there’s a valid reason why you can’t meet them or he can’t meet your side
It depends on the person. For example, I had a partner who hated her mom, who was a a drug addict. I did meet her mom anyway at one point, but it was only because she wanted to see her little sister and brother. She was actually an orphan because CPS took her away due to her mom's drug abuse, so maybe she's not the best example, but a good example of how meeting someone's family might not be the most important thing to do.
I've also had partners who had really close and healthy relationships with their family, and in those instances I think it's VERY important to meet their family. You are part of a bigger picture, and their family is also.
I didn't really address friends, but the same thing applies.
TLDR; it depends how important friends/family is to your partner.
I think its essential because when you're in love you're biased and might miss things about your SO.
Your friends might see thing you don't and vice versa. Everyone needs people to talk with about their SO. Not gossip but to ventilate and get perspective. Beware if you have toxic friends though.
If your SO is a guy (reversed for girls I think) then a fatherfigure or a brother meeting/befriending them is essential as they can usually tell if they're playing or sesne their type in a way unique between men. And this trick won't work with say your guyfriend because he could be an orbiter so he'd be emotionally biased.
Yes and no for me friends yes family no. And it's because I've never had a great relationship with my family I am still stuck at home and they are still problematic.
And well I at the moment I wouldn't want a partner to meet my family. And with how I feel in regards to them I wouldn't even want them at the wedding if I was fortunate enough to meet someone who wished to marry me.
My closest friend is more like family to me. And I even try to keep friends separate as much as possible.
if the relationship is serious enough to consider marriage, yes. one gets to see the environment and attitudes in which their partner was raised. although it's not 100% guaranteed, what you see in their family is what you get in marriage. you're also marrying into the family, so... i equate it to buying a house. you may like the house but you're buying into the neighborhood. wish i'd had that kind of insight when i married. her family was an absolute train wreck. while she wasn't that way when we married, it's definitely what she became as she aged.
It's important. But for me it didn't signify a milestone in our relationship. She was my girlfriend and I was proud to bring her with me to family events and gatherings. I would go to her family's house, too, and chat with her parents. It didn't mean that we were anything more than boyfriend-girlfriend, though. And it's not like I was seeking anyone's approval.
When you form long-term relationships you either 'become' one of one another's 'clans' or if the families are prejudicially bigoted, you must consciously ELECT to forsake all previous interactions to avoid their censured judgement and to maintain SANITY in your OWN home~
Sometimes 'ostracism' is the ONLY sane alternative to alienate yourselves from THEIR madness. You can only control YOUR response to THEIR behaviors~
My mother was psycho. My family was thoroughly dysfunctional. Disassociating myself from them is something I largely did on my own, anyway. Doing it for the right woman would have been no big deal.
I think it's very important. That gives me an idea of how my partner is and what kind of relationship he has with his family. I didn't grow up in a healthy family, so if I ever get married being close to my in laws and the rest of the family will be amazing. And I also want to meet his friends and get along with them.
Yes because a person's friends and family can impact their life... I'd want to be prepared for if I'll have shitty in-laws or not... and also it is an indicator that he is serious about you, if he is hiding you it can indicate he is ashamed or doesn't have serious intentions... I am speaking based on probability... for who doesn't know the meaning, use a dictionary.
Yes I think it's very important to get to know the people that raised my boyfriend his siblings and vice versa. I talk to my boyfriend's mom all the time she lives out of State so we talk as much as we can with our work schedule. If you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone it's super important to get to know the other important people in his life.
I think if a guy or girl doesn't bring you around his friends and/or his family makes me wonder if he is proud of being with me or not. This guy I was seeing in and off had a history of professional people in his family. I didn't go to college, so I guess I didn't have the right credentials, so I never met his family. Just his drunken sister one time. She was drunk of her tooshie, yet she was there to judge ME? I don't e so!
I don't unless we have plans on being engaged or married. Because I'm not interested in dating you for less than a year, you have built relationship with my family yet you my family would never ever see you again. there's no point in doing something like that. Its a waste of time. I'm not interested in my family seeing a revolving door of men popping in and out every year.
I think it is very important. I'm sure their family would want to meet their partner and vice versa. I would want to have a good relationship with my partner's family because I think it's important for families to share things with each other and be introduced to your life.
That's the other face of the medal, but yes, of course it is important to meet each other's family and friends, in case a relation is serious at least. Now, let's face that meeting each other's family is also often a nightmare... Sorry for this politically not correct opinion, but there it is. Sure that sometimes it's just great meeting those families and friends ;0)
It depends on the family. If your family isn't a bunch of loons who start s**t then its probably a good idea however if they are loons then it's best to let your significant other know that and explain that you don't want them to have to put up with that
I do think it’s important, I feel a boyfriend and girlfriend isn’t about dating alone that’s it, a boyfriend girlfriend meet fmaily as well. I don’t know my bfs family nor he knows mine and it bothers me daily. I get stress and depression. I can’t date him forver and not meet family never, and his mom never know who I am. I don’t believe it means u will marry, but meeting parents just means they know your girlfriend partner that’s it.
I voted yes, but it really depends. If you are close to your family and they are theirs, then it is important to meet each other's families. However, in my case most of my family are bad influences that I have nothing to do with. Some I am close to, but the majority I want to be far away from anyone I fall in love with. Sadly, it is hard to express this concern without being judged myself.
Being involved in someone's life almost always includes having some sort of relationship with the people around them. I'd say the more involved someone is in your partner's life the more you should be on good terms with them. Obviously there are exceptions where the parents/siblings are very toxic and your partner wants nothing to do with them; that's a decision for them to make that I will respect.
Yes it's important. Because it makes you two know each other better, also makes you being under control in case any bad thing happened to any individual but (women are always victims).
Being in a serious relationship also people from both families should know, to build trust, honest, love and more assurance of being loved by your partner. Because always being married starts with being introduced to both families. This builds trust and love 🔥🔥💯
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
i chose yes, because if you two are serious and are going to be together for a long time (whether you choose to get married or not), it's important to create a good relationship with their family/friends too. because the people in their life should be in your life too.
It is normal or more common to introduce parents to dating partners but not everyone has those happy normal families. Those who come from mentally, physically or both kinds of abusive families, not introducing them to dating partners can even protect the relationship.
For example if the families come from different countries, cultures or dont have the same skin color that the other familys parents would aprove, staying away might be the best alternative.
Nope, that often causes more problems. An extra source of drama is introduced into the relationship. Maybe it’s not like this for everyone, but personally, I’ve had some very bad experiences with members of guys’ families.
For me, family is extremely important. I don't really have any close friends because of COVID-19 keeping me from seeing people. Family and friends generally want what is best for you. They can see your relationship objectively and usually will be honest regarding if it's good for you.
It is important but I never did it until I could not avoid it any longer. I came from a very toxic family and I just did not like to talk about it at all.
I feel that if my boyfriend considers me important, I would meet other important people in his life, and others who are important in his life, will be introduced to me since I'm part of his life
My mother was psycho. She found fault with everything everyone in her family ever said or did. If I walked on water, she would have said I couldn’t swim. I think if a woman got along with my mother, that would have been a red flag.
Depends on the families. Some are dysfunctional and only breed hate, so if you're trying to remove yourself from them, then you also want to keep your partner away from that.
Yes, because friends and family are a big part of your partners life, and as your partner (hopefully) is a big part of your life, you'll want to get to know the people around them, to fully get to know your partner
Absolutely. If you don't get along with their family and friends... It makes things a lot more difficult. But when it works out well, that makes everything that much more fun.
I think it’s good to meet their family and friends because if you end up getting married you’re gonna be seeing them a lot you might as well get to know them now white not
For all the reasons you have listed. Your partners friends and family are great assets, if you build a friendship with them, If & when your partner is being unreasonable.
Yes, most of all you get to see your partner behaving around them, and not just around yourself. Good chance to see new sides or explanations to their behavior you have seen.
Absolutely. You can know go so far between the two of you, you can live in a little bubble. But opening up to include family/friends gives it more reality.
that depends on many many different factors… but to keep it simple, I’d say yes… that’s assuming my partner has a good healthy relationship with his family, and same for me as well… lol
Friends are people you trust, showing your girl to your friends means you trust her enough to be seen by them. Family is a whole different thing, you don't bring hundreds of girls around family. That speical one is the only person who should be their
Yah, you don't have to get along with the family, but the friends say a lot about the person your with and your going to have to be aware of the life that comes with them
If you want a relationship then yes, obviously. Family is important and you should see them at events and things. If you are together you are a part of each other's family.
I feel like meeting family is important. Sometimes family can make it break your relationship. Friends I am not too worried about. I will meet them now. Friends just need to understand I am priority.
It's always a good thing when a girl has a great relationship with her dad, and more shallowly speaking, you can look at her mom to see 'how she'll turn out'.
Not all daughters end up looking like their mothers into old age. She can look like the women on her fathers side too
But generally speaking, if a man needs to check how his wife will turn out , he's not the type of man you should be marrying. Once you dont turn out how he wants, your marriage will immediately be in trouble
@shaysh87 There may be no evidence in peer reviewed scientific journals that women grow up and act like there mothers, but I have decades of personal observation.
I have my father's personality. My brother does not have my father nor my mother's personality.
Kids tend to think similarly to their parents. Because parents are children's biggest role models in life. A daughter does not necessarily resemble her mother. She can also resemble her father's personality. There are also stressors that can be factored into how someone might act after marriage. If a woman is constantly screaming at her husband and children, as a stay home wife, she may just be frustrated because she has financial problems. Its not uncommon for single income families to have financial issues. But if the next generation is not poor and the woman is not a stay home wife, they might turn out with a different personality.
Its not a one size fits all. Peer reviewed journals aren't the bible either.
Certain personality traits can also be genetically inherited. I have a quick temper. My father has a quick temper too. My mother does not have a temper but rather she is a push over. I am not a push over at all. Neither is my brother a push over. My brother doesn't have a temper either.
I am a feisty woman. But neither of my parents or grandparents or aunts/ uncles/ cousins are feisty. I do not know who I resemble on this aspect of my personality.
As you can see, your rule that "daughters are always like their mothers" is a very unreliable concept.
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