Why even say ''my beautiful wife'' if you're never going to marry her?

[Anonymous]

If there is a phrase I hate the most is that one. That's one of the many my ex boyfriend used to say. Eventually I found out everything was a lie and blocked him.

Why keep her with promises and even go all the way to call her ''my beautiful wife'' if you're never going to marry her? You were never going to propose... why do you do that her?

Updates

1 y

No, she's not your beautiful wife, she's not a family member, she's just your childless girlfriend you can dump any moment without, she's just your comfort zone... yeah just a girlfriend that you can always have one foot out the door any moment, easily replaceable without any issues. What does she gained out of all that? NOTHING

[D_Bone_Steak]

It's a tactic... I don't use it but I've watched plenty of my friends do it and I know it works. I would characterize it as "feed her the dream, and keep her hoping," and it gets a lot of women a lot more 'lose' quick. Here are a couple of examples other than the one you gave.

"I want you to have my babies"

"I can imagine how happy we'll be when we're old together"

I'm sure you understand how it works. If I had a daughter I'd definitely make sure she understands that some guys will give empty platitudes or hint at promises that only really have one purpose... to get the panties to drop.

[Asker]

My father hates him so badly that he wishes the worst fate for him. My mother was in tears of hurt and anger. That coward even used me for money too. He owes me over $1,000.

[Asker]

I've started all over since, I'm nearly 7 months into my new relationship and still want marriage and kids. I want to form a family. I'm trying to get over it and believe again. I'm trying. However, I'm extra careful now and look into actions, not words anymore.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Oh damn... it sounds like you've learned the hard way. Yeah, people can be real assholes just to get what they want. In the end, it just pisses people off and that's why I personally wouldn't use those tactics. It's like telling a girl looking for a relationship that you're single when you're actually married.

[Asker]

Yes and to be honest, I think the level of cruelty to this user exceeds the typical player that uses women for sex and leaves. Seriously this coward one day also insisted that I should find out about my father's living will too and was asking how much are my father's properties and grandma's rent was worth. Wow...

So it's like he basically was wishing my parents and grandma were dead. I've heard of the usual players that say everything to get in the woman's pants and are done and over with, then leave but this user was both a complete user in every way. At the moment I didn't know what to be hurt the most; that he cheated and used me for sex (I was a virgin at the time too) or that he cheated me out of a life, that everything was a lie and was after my wealth/money.

[Asker]

So it's like I got to experience both worlds, used for pleasure and a male golddigger at the same time. I never knew certain men can go that far too.

[D_Bone_Steak]

I have a category of people I call "The Salesman Type"

I categorize the PUA or as you say, the players that use women for sex in it. Car Salesmen, scammers, and even bums on the street that beg for change. They all have something in common, they want something and they're pretty disingenuous about how to get it. Take the bum holding up a sign that says "hungry, need money for food" when what he really needs is money for drugs and alcohol. A PUA (pick up artist) is kind of obvious what their scam is. My point is, learn to question EVERYONE, maybe even some of your own family... not out loud, but in your head. "Do they want something, and if so, what do they want?" Some people are cool and they just want to shoot the shit, others though have an agenda and if you can recognize it early, you'll have a better chance of guarding yourself against their bullshit.

My tactic is that... I'll shut up and listen to them talk, pinpoint what they're up to...9 times out of 10 they tell on themselves. But you have to really listen to and figure out where they're trying to lead you. Most people are not honest... it's just a cold hard fact. Be safe, play it safe. Hindsight is 20/20 but memorize all the clues you missed before that would've told you his intent.

[FilmGuy93]

I wouldn't call a girlfriend my "wife" unless I intended to marry her. What makes you say it was all a lie? Is it possible that circumstances outside of his control changed?

[Asker]

He won't even pay my money back either. He owes me over $1000. It was all a lie because he had been lovebombing me too much and my mother never liked him. She used to tell me he was full of BS but it was my mistake not listening to her. She was right.

[BarryLiverstone]

What’s your question? Clearly you were lied to and are processing past pain.

[Asker]

Yes and it hurts that I've wasted dedication, energy and time for nothing. I hate when lovebombers do that.

[BarryLiverstone]

Yes it hurts. But are you Just venting or did you have a question?

[Asker]

I bit of both I guess. But yes why do they do that?

[BarryLiverstone]

Because they can. They get what they want and don’t care about you in the end

[scott04sa22]

I’m single for life lol

[Asker]

That's good then. At least you're not lying to women. I hate that. A girlfriend is a girlfriend and a wife is a wife. A girlfriend is never your beautiful wife... he can dump her at any moment and all that time was for nothing, worthless emotional invesment, worthless... all for nothing.

[scott04sa22]

Relationships is just too exhausting for me. One minute she’s happy then the next she demanding to have boobs bigger then Anna Nicole Smith so I can like her more. No thank you. Also once your married then divorced she can take everything you owned. Even your grandma’s urn or your grandfathers favorite watch

[Asker]

No doubt a bad experience with the opposite gender can make anyone give up on love. I wanted a simple life of getting married, having a kid and growing old together; the type of love from the old times. I wonder why things can't be simply and people be honest with each other.

[scott04sa22]

Exactly, I just can’t find anyone good anymore. My compatibility is rare and hard to match anyone. Also I had too many bad experiences and I was used and played as backup once it’s really bad out there. I’m not picky I want to live my life too the fullest and I want a partner who would share the same thing with me

[Jouth]

you are my wife?

[Asker]

Nope. I'm no one wife's until I'm out of the girlfriend status, there is an engagement ring with a date set on the wedding and no delays.

[Jouth]

oh okay.

well will you be my wife?