Is nearly 4 years too long to wait for a long-distance relationship?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend left for a job position to South America and said she would come back in 7 months, then a year and keep extending it.

It's been nearly 4 years by now. I feel like the male version of a Penelope, that waited and waited. My family is getting tired of that situation and are already advising me to close the chapter and stop waiting for her. Do I throw the towel by now? Is this too long to wait?

Yes, too much

No, it's not

Updates

+1 y

I want a family eventually. I was 23 when she left and now I'm 27. Some days I imagine her return and being together again but then reality hits and feel like this isn't going anywhere.

[NathanDavis]

oh damn... that's a fine song right there

I know the one in Spanish though

how long is too long depends totally on you, and her... nobody else

as of now, you can be sure that he cares more for her own present and future than any possibility with you

[Asker]

yeah usually it's the guy that leaves, promises to return and she's faithfully waiting for him. The same exact thing is happening to me, just with the genders switched. I'm the one waiting for her return and she keeps postponing, giving excuses, extending it. My family doesn't like her anymore and thinks she's wasting my time.

[NathanDavis]

well... I can tell you one thing

waiting for someone is NOT a relationship

[Asker]

I'm about to throw the towel now. I wanted to visit her twice and she made excuses, telling me to just wait for her return. I fell I'm waiting for nothing. I'm leaving this pointless relationship.

[NathanDavis]

best to move on from something that never really started in the first place

[Guy13]

I think I would have gotten out of that after 1.6 years. Best in it all.

[Asker]

yeah I think I'm about to throw the towel now. I've waited for her all this time. I've been faithful but I had enough. I didn't leave. She left and promised to return. She hasn't returned. I think I'm about to give up on her by. My family doesn't like her anymore and thinks she's wasting my time.

[Guy13]

Dude, you must be crazy in love. You are a committed kind of person. There has to be a girl somewhere local that can appreciate you. try meetups. www.meetup.com

[exitseven]

I had a LDR for 3 years. 3 years I will never get back.

[Luopio27]

How often have you two visited each other?

[Asker]

None. I've been waiting for her return all this time

[Luopio27]

Have you had the possibility to visit her? If its a matter of finance, I can understand it but in 4 years... hmm

[Asker]

I wanted to twice (in Feb 2019 and last year) and she kept making excuses, telling me no and to wait for her return.

[Luopio27]

Thats a red flag. If I were you I would move on.

[Luopio27]

And dump her.