Do you think most people's romantic "love" to one another is conditional?

[MCheetah]

Do you think most people's romantic "love" to each other is based on superficial conditional things first (height, money, good looks in men, or hot body in women)?

Or is it that most people who end up in long term relationships are "truly meant for each other" and would've found each other, regardless of looks, height, social status, age, etc?

Notice I said MOST (60 to 90% of people), not all. Obviously, my answer is no. I'm physically unattractive and have literally nothing going for me in looks/physical, so I can confirm that "personality alone" isn't enough to make "love happen."

But that's just what I think. What do you think?

Inspired by this question here.

Yes, most people who end up together do so based on superficial/external things like height, social status, good looks, etc.

No, most people end up together based on personality/chemistry and would've ended up together even if they looked like completely different people.

Don't know.

[Sirenboobzilla]

Physical attraction will always play a part in getting together. I'd be severely naive to believe that everyone I've ever dated was drawn to me solely for my personality (according to my boyfriend my personalititties were a big factor 🙄).

But there are definitely people who place far too much value on physical traits over personal ones and that's where a lit of people go wrong. They're willing to overlook very glaring red flags so long as they have something attractive to call theirs; a trophy.

Then everything goes to shit when bodies change. He's not working out as much and loses muscle, maybe gains a bit of a belly. She starts taking birth control (which does have a common side effect of making us gain weight) or gets pregnant then can't go back to her slim figure afterwards.

Not to mention those who are also after whatever benefits they can get; money, status, etc.

I've seen many a hot guy act as if women owe them their livelihoods just for looking that way. And of course many women acting as if they're the hottest prize in existence.

Romance can and often is triggered by physical attraction, but it needs so much more for it to be real

[Lucy68]

I rather end up with someone based on personality and the chemistry me and them have.

I can't speak for other people but it varies by person. Some end up together due to both their classes and finances being the same, some because they are the same race, some because of the same religion, etc etc.

[Gremlinimo]

That's a depressing post for such a young man.

Let me tell you this... when you are young physical attraction is a huge part of it. As you get older and wiser however, looks matter less and less to the point where you don't really care for that sort of thing anymore. Because... true love isn't about how glossy her lips are, or how chiselled your chin is... it's about 2 people, any two people, that like each other, and themselves, for who they are. And that's the simple truth. I'd rather live my life with someone who makes me feel good, who gives me their time and attention, who is funny, caring, loyal, kind and likes talking to me, than any "hottie" walking down the street. You can't "apply" that kind of attraction like you apply makeup, it's just there.

Chin up, dude. You're confidence is all you need.

[JDavid25]

Romantic love by nature is conditional.. I don't think it's necessarily based solely upon those things, but they definitely help get you to the front of the line..

[TryMeBee]

Hm... I'd say superficial things definitely play a part in getting together, but love could be deeper than that. They may not have gotten together if one of them was ugly or broke to begin with, but once together, they could have a love to where they wouldn't leave even if the other lost their money or their looks. This could also happen when they start as friends, and get to know each other until they start to love each other, and then they get together—even though had they met as potential lovers initially they would not have given each other a chance due to superficial things like looks or status.

Hopefully not many romantic loves are totally unconditional though, because that allows for a lot of bad things potentially.

[exitseven]

I don't know. I like women that are a little on the big side.

HAWWWT!

[juicewater]

Romantic love is and should always be conditional. Conditional doesn't mean it has to be superficial. I honestly don't know if most people end up with each othter based on option a or b, there's way too many people to even know that.

[worldscolide]

Romantic love is always conditional. It's conditional on loyalty, honesty, closeness, intimacy.

[msc545]

Not just conditional - also transactional at least in the view of the woman.