Would you want to be someone’s’ first girlfriend/boyfriend if they are older than 25?

[Anonymous]

If she/he is more than 25 years old.

[Anonymous]

So what is an official “girlfriend”. I personally lost my V card at 16 to my HS girlfriend who I only dated for 6 weeks. Though out my 20s I did date a lot and had many flings. But I never had something official enough were i met their family. It wasn’t until the ripe old age of 32 I dated girl for where this actually happened.

Does that mean I didn’t want a steady girlfriend in my late teens and 20s? Of course not I actually dreamed of that. Really wanted. Bad.

But every girl I really liked and thought I could date long term ended up treating me like complete friendzone shit back then (I was a “nice” guy). So I became increasingly more guarded prior when it came to investing my time, heart, money into someone who might exploit it. I also got fed up with chivalry reaping zero benefits so i went straight for flings and hook ups. Not that was noble approach but it was better than being raked over the coals for being too nice.

So at 32 did i straight out tell my then girlfriend I never had a true long term relationship? No of course not. She never asked about my past either. But she really liked me and vice versa. That information would of only screw things up. She could of self sabotaged herself by not giving me a chance.

[Fromdusktilldawn]

Yea why not.

I am 26 and also never had a girlfriend

[Jennyjenjen_420]

Sorry but no, they would lack in the emotional maturity part. It’s hard enough to find a guy (sorry guys) who is emotional mature as it is. It takes heartbreak (sometimes more than one) to realize mistakes and shortcomings one may be doing in the relationship that failed and by realizing those mistakes and emotionally maturing can help create a strong foundation for a future relationship. For instance, it took me getting heartbroken twice to find my worth and to learn to love myself before I could give love to others. Someone who has never been in relationships much less in love then they’d lack in learning those things. You cannot love another without loving yourself first. You just can’t. You’ll fall into the hole of depression and no one wants to be in love with a depressed person right? Even if you think you can heal them, it’ll take themselves to heal themselves, not others but knowing that someone out there loves them does help though. Everyone deserves a whole partner, not a half there partner. So, emotional maturity is a great foundation for a healthy relationship. This is just my own opinion. ❤️

[Jennyjenjen_420]

Another words, a lack of experience in relationships makes me say no but not the materialistic or superficial experience.

[Manab]

Relationships aren't the only source where you can get hurt and be mentally strong. Generally people with a privileged background say those kind of stuffs, cause only time they had to experience life's hardship in their failure of relationships. It's not same for not so fortunate.

[HippieVeganJewslim]

Stop assuming in the first statement.

[Sorrento-Sun]

Yes of course. It wouldn't bother me in the slightest that he'd never had a girlfriend

It would be a turn off and red flag if he'd been in and out of many relationships, but not if he'd never had a girlfriend

[Sorrento-Sun]

Thanks for the MHO ❤

[chocomilk99]

And what if he nvr had any girlfriend. Or never dated someone kinda virgin

[Sorrento-Sun]

@chocomilk99 i answered that in my comment 😂I said it wouldn't bother me if he'd never had a girlfriend. It also wouldn't bother me if he'd never dated before.

[rabbitzzz]

You won't be the last though.

[Sorrento-Sun]

@rabbitzzz how do you know? 😂

[Apple1996]

Nah that's too old to have never had any dating experience. Don't think I'd have the patience to deal with someone like that.

[globetrotter22]

^^^ this is why men often lie to women.

[Apple1996]

@globetrotter22 I feel like I would easily be able to sense this lie from a man 😂

[HippieVeganJewslim]

How is that too old for anything?

[OlderAndWiser]

I'm 67 years old. That would be plenty weird, don't you think?

[HippieVeganJewslim]

No, I don’t think it would be plenty weird.

[OlderAndWiser]

@HippieVeganJewslim It would be weird for me to dating someone 25, and weird to date someone 65 who has NEVER had a boyfriend.

[Pinay_ako]

🤔 what’s wrong with that?

[ethanallen]

Many things are wrong with this. The absence of a any relationship history is before the age of 25 is equivalent to never having had a job by the age of 25 or equivalent to being a high school drop out. It is an outward sign of an inner problem.

[Pinay_ako]

@ethanallen … depends

[Kingofkings1992]

@ethanallen get off your high horse, you judgmental prick

[Manab]

@ethanallen ever heard about advanced degrees, like MD or PhD where people get jobs way later in life? But I guess you are too dumb for that.

[HippieVeganJewslim]

@ethanallen My first girlfriend was at age 14 and job at age 19. Not the same.

[ethanallen]

@Manab Lots of people in undergrad, graduate school and medical school have girlfriends/marriages. This is a ridiculous argument. It is the same thing as the 30 year old female virgin who claims Jesus wants her to stay pure until marriage and she has never been married.. The reality of a 30 year old female Christian virgin is that she has serious mental illness problems

[Kingofkings1992]

@ethanallen we all have problems you’re no exception

[ethanallen]

@Kingofkings1992 I agree that we all have problems. The issue here is that there is a problem and we are willing to deny it because "everyone gets a trophy" and "nobody is ever wrong." Being morbidly obese is a serious problem for one's health. A morbidly obese person should not be publicly ridiculed but we must acknowledge there are underlying problems both physically and psychologically is obese persons. Obesity isn't normal.

[Manab]

@ethanallen yes lots of are in relationships but there were a lot who aren't too. They can come from a religious families where they were barred from dating , or had other struggles in life financial or physical or otherwise. That doesn't mean they have inner problems or they are drop out. Perhaps they were only engaged in sexual activities and not a proper relationship.

[ethanallen]

@Manab Ok Manab, Everyone gets a trophy.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

No.

I've dated a guy in his 30s for whom I was his first girlfriend.

His lack of dating experience was just the tip of the iceberg. He had no idea how to be a grown adult. He couldn't get through a work day without playing his gatcha games or porn (to the point he nearly got fired), he couldn't clean his place, he had zero life experience, and he had so little lived experience he was more like a child than a man.

I've been through quite a bit of life and, personally, I'm not looking to explain life again to another sheltered cishet boy.

For me, it's about having stuff in common and living lives we can be happy sharing together. I can't imagine getting that dating someone who's never dated before.

[Asker]

Has he had any sexual experience before you?

[uwotm8e]

This doesn't really answer the question though. If it was "would you date someone that doesn't have their life in order" than I could see that. What about dating experience in isolation.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Asker, yes, he had. Very little and always heavily guided. Not that increased sexual experience would have helped him - he was so out of shape I had to let him win whenever we wrestled and then he'd be too out of breath to fuck. It was disappointing.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

@uwotm8e No, my answer doesn't change. I'm not dating anyone at this stage who hasn't dated. Dating experience IS life experience and I'm not lowering my standards. If anything, I'm raising them.

That said, I'm not even entertaining cishet men anymore, so you wouldn't have the slightest chance anyways.

[Xoxocutekitty]

Probably no. Unless you are particularly religious, conservative (arranged marriage/date to marry only), or asexual, I would find it strange that within the first 7-9 years of dating eligibility (starting at 16 or 18 until 25), they had not considered or attempted having one committed relationship.

The intention to make someone your girlfriend or boyfriend I think speaks to ones baseline responsibility to communicate, respect, adore, and commit to a person, even if like 99% of relationships, they do end. All relationships end, except the one that doesn't, but they can still have the good faith that it could go the distance, starting with the silly girlfriend/boyfriend lingo and the stipulations that come with using such lingo (dates, meeting your friends, sharing hobbies, meeting parents )

[uwotm8e]

What if that person was just really really ugly for those years?

[Xoxocutekitty]

Like deformity ugly? Or a guy's who's like a 4, who could easily be a 6 by just dressing better, projecting confidence, and getting a nice hair/beard cut lol?

[uwotm8e]

Both

[ethanallen]

I agree except I would say that dating eligibility might start at 18 or 19 for some because over controlling bad parents can keep their teen children from dating. However, once a child leaves the house, they can form relationships.

[Manab]

I think you are only talking about Europe and US. There can be a lot more reasons for guys and girls to not have a relationship apart for those reasons.

[CubsterShura]

I wouldn't mind if he isn't salty about the fact that I've had boyfriends before. People can have their own reasons to not date especially in my culture where we have a very strict society and youngsters are encouraged to focus on studying, I can see that realistically some people would not get the opportunity to date until their mid 20's.

[HippieVeganJewslim]

What’s Your culture?

[HippieVeganJewslim]

Why the heck not? Chances are, it ain’t their fault not to have any relationships. I myself find it hard to get a girlfriend, let alone boyfriend or non-binary partner. However, I ain’t too weird that would make it bad. I want to marry Noura, and I think She never had a boy/girlfriend; She’s a Syrian refugee in Jordan. Put yourself in her/his shoes: would it feel sad not to have a relationship for the rest of her/his life? If She got a decent personality and fears one and only one almighty god, that’s all right with me.

[ZackBan]

Depending on how you define girlfriend/boyfriend one could argue that I myself am turning 25 and have never been in a real committed classical relationship. So yeah I have no problem being someone's first as she would be mine as well in a way. (Although I have had casual relationships and medium term things before)

[Asker]

For example, she had casual relationships like you and now she wants real committed relationship with you.

[ZackBan]

I would say certain conditions need to be met.
I won't be someone's "safe" settling down option.
So if she had like a 100 partner and just now found jesus I'd pass.
If she has kids I'd pass, too much drama and a baby daddy that won't leave us alone.
If she's just settling down because society is telling her but is mentally still in her hoe phase it's a pass as well.

But if we're talking about a decent woman with no kids, who had a handful of partners over the years like any normal person then yeah I would be down to try if we clicked

[Asker]

are you a decent man with no kids, who had a handful of partners over the years like any normal person?

[uwotm8e]

I see now. That's some rough territory. To me it would appear that the person didn't get what they want and are settling if they've had that many "partners".

[ZackBan]

Actually yes I am.
I don't have any kids.
My body count is not astronomical.
And I am not "settling" but instead looking for the someone I connect with and is the best partner I can hope for.

I know it might sound condescending but too many guys let themselves become the fall back option to a girl who never loves them and they think they bagged the hottest girl on the block.
I simply don't wanna be that guy, so my standards for a relationship are far higher than my standards for a hookup and even those are not low, i don't just fuck anything that movez

[uwotm8e]

Sorry, was agreeing with you. I forgot to @Asker

[Rose_84]

Yes but only if they willingly rejected fake people and were patient to wait for the right person for 25 years.

I won't be their first girlfriend just because they had NO other options in the past.

I need to see that they had many options but they had self control and didn't opened up easily, that's a turn on.

[uwotm8e]

Why so?

[Sarahr123]

Duh that’s what I would die for. I don’t want a boy who’s been with anyone and everyone. I would love it and feel honoured that he waited 25-30 years and felt that I was special enough to be the first one he allowed into his life. Maybe he had more important things to focus on than chasing skirt and being with just anyone.

[wheresmrcunnunglis]

Unbeknowstingly, I wouldn't mind but if they told me. I would probably back out due to the realization that Im not perfect by a long shot and would constantly feel like I have to give them the "perfect first-time relationship" experience which would ultimately end the relationship. ugh.

[Avicenna]

Well, I would want to know why she had never had a boyfriend, especially if she is closer to my age. The answer to that would probably determine whether I'd date her. I'd be concerned that she has no idea how a relationship works or isn't used to compromise, sharing or other aspects of a relationship.

[Sixgunsound]

I’d be interested in knowing the story. If she was an aggressive fire spitting career type who didn’t need no man until she realizes she is about to hit the wall then probably not. That didn’t appeal to me in my 20’s and doesn’t appeal to me in my 30’s either.

[FunkyMonkee]

Sure! I'd love to try a virgin! Why does everyone think being a virgin is some kind of disgrace? EVERYONE had to start SOMEWHERE! If NO ONE ELSE likes virgin girls or if you don't want to be one, anymore, come on over, I'll be happy to take care of that for you! Just call me, "Cherry Destroyer"!

[ElementoP]

That don't mean she's a virgin in this day and age... lol

[FunkyMonkee]

@ElementoP Is there ANOTHER way to lose your virginity?

[ElementoP]

Fuck buddies and one night stands

[FunkyMonkee]

@ElementoP Exactly. Only fucking will do it.

[Anonymous]

I personally wouldn’t feel comfortable with it. I know what I can bring into the table but it also comes with a lot of baggage (from my childhood trauma) and I prefer to open up to a guy with more “experience” in dealing with baggages. I wouldn’t want to potentially ruin someone’s first experience in love just bc of the baggage that I carry 😔

[Manab]

Some guys can have the same baggage as you and can understand you. But perhaps they abstained dating in younger years because of that. I guy with just relationship experience will not know your kind of baggage, he has different kind of baggage. Baggages don't help reduce the weight , they just add up , better to heal first before getting into relationships and expecting them to carry yours.

[msc545]

Yes. Why should this matter at all? There are so many more things to worry about besides the person's age when they first had a boyfriend or girlfriend, whether or not the person is a virgin, the person's body count, and a million other bullshit things that people come up with on this site. Try worrying about their personality and their honesty instead.

[Rania05]

Yes, I would be a bit flattered to. Plus men with no girlfriend at that age are more appreciative of them.

[melanieeeB]

No I wouldn't, I don't wanna deal with showing them firsts and explaining how relationships work, catering their insecurities or whatever might come with that

[ethanallen]

Never. Anyone who cannot form a relationship before the age of 25 has serious problems. I don't want that person's problems inside my wire.

[Asker]

Maybe they concentrated on their career?

[magiusX26]

i'ld rather not be anyone's first boyfriend period. assuming i was still willing to date/have a relationship/bump uglies i would preffer them to have sone sort of previous experience as some form of comparision.