I broke up with my toxic and insecure girlfriend, can you suggest me what I should do afterwards (details) ?

[Anonymous]

I met with a girl online about five months ago and we like each other then decided to start a relationship in the last March.. We used to have a bit toxic relationship, she was acting always pretty combative and rude at myself while we'd been arguibg with each other.. Then I met with her couple of weeks ago, after spending prettt nice day with tons of happiness, she asked me for checking my mobile phone whether I did text anyone or something because of her trust issues over me due to her ex boyfriend of whom she dated for four years.. She saw my instagram message sent to a random girl (but I actually praised her artwork on tge live feed of instagram, not did it for herself, appearance etc or attempted any flirtious approach to her) and she got so angry with me, next she said everything was over, I don't want you anymore, this is a certain breakup following that she blocked me from everywhere.. However, I got so sad for this situation, I had unfollowed all girls on my instagram for the sake of her and never messaged anyone till that day.. She was always insecure with me.. I have been feeling so lonely and desperate.. It was pretty toxic but I am so hard to forget about her.. feeling myself like crammed into the darkness.. What should I do? Why did she cut me off because of this message only? Did she never love me or pretending as fake happy role? Help needed.. I want her come back to me..

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Honestly, I don't think she even knows how she feels except for insecure and controlling.

Here's the thing: her reaction has more to do with her own internal issues than with you. You're probably fine, and would've been fucked not matter what you did eventually.

It sounds like your ex has really toxic expectations, and no communication skills. So, in other words, not a good fit for a relationship of any kind.

One, she didn't give you a chance to explain yourself.

Two, she never told you before not to interact with any women in any other circumstance (which, on its own, is a huge red flag).

Three, your message was not flirting or anything. It was legit a normal, platonic interaction. Again, massive red flag against her.

Here's the thing: everyone has different boundaries. For myself, I don't care if my partner talks to other people. Heck, they can be close friends with people of the opposite sex, I don't care. What I care about is that my partner trusts me, is transparent with me, and communicates. I have close male friends and I will break up with anyone who tries to control who I can and can't talk to.

For this chick? Not even letting you interact with women on *social media*? That's a huge red flag. You're not going to be allowed to have friends at all - and having no contact with people of the opposite sex is more likely to isolate you and make you resent her than it is make you love her.

I don't know how old you guys are, but it seems to me she's got really fucked up expectations and you certainly deserve a more level-headed match.

Make sure next time you date someone, you guys have clear conversations about what's allowed and what isn't. And don't bother with people who would restrict your friendships or even just who you can casually speak with.

It doesn't lead to a happy life at all.

[Ladybugharp]

I’m sorry to hear you’re going through a hard time; dealing with feeling lonely and heartbroken can be a soul-destroying experience.

The behaviour you're receiving from her is a form of mental abuse (aggression, verbal abuse, and mental manipulation), and your response to her behaviour is exactly how a victim would respond. As you mentioned, the dynamics between you both were toxic.

I’m sure she has a million loving attributes about her - but she needs to work through some deep stuff and overcome her insecurities so she doesn't bring the remnants of her past relationship into new relationships, what she is doing to you.

Take this experience as blessed learning, allow it to evolve you as a person and focus on you; you’ll absolutely find someone in the future who will be nurturing, respectful and just wonderful - in hindsight, you’ll realise this current relationship was not right for the both of you.

In the meantime, while you heal, keep busy, occupy yourself with the things you love to do, keep your friends close and confide in them and please don't hesitate to seek a counsellor.

You deserve to be happy.

[Asker]

Ahh thank you and sure we had pretty toxic and insecure relationship which ttuly offended me with her so much, she was acting me too rudely in case of our arguments and conflicts.. I used to feel myself a bit alone and desperate although I had been in the relationship with her nevertheless I couldn't find any solution to overcome all these problems.. Tried to talk her never hung in there but all of my attempts just fell in trash and resulted in breakup..

[Ladybugharp]

You’re so welcome. Experiencing being alone and desperate while in the relationship sounds like another classic form of mental/emotional abuse to make the other feel isolated; in turn, you're likely to ​​doubt the perceptions of your reality and affect your self-esteem. Therefore everything that made up your true self starts to fade away.

Find yourself first, to realign with your true self and not take your insecurities over to the next relationship - also, find someone that will lovingly accept the ALL of you.

It might be hard for you at the start to remove yourself from her (especially if she is in your circle of friends) but stay strong in order to evolve as a wiser, stronger version of yourself.

You can absolutely do it - a fresh start and new journeys.

[Asker]

Unfortunately yes and as I told you before, I have literally been in stuck with this messy occasion and I don't know how it would possibly take for me to overcome everything. It's oddly enough and despite in all these facts that she was my first date whom I had thought seriously on the way of marriage and never had anyone before like her (apart from these problems) I just had several number of flirts but none were resulted in a prosperous relationship. Maybe we could have continued our date happily if I deleted the message sent to that girl but might have been in a continuous loop of manipulation and misleadings by her..

Perhaps, there's something that I need to admit that I am not good at relationships and women's spiritual language which is being capable of answer their feelings, perceptions and expectations. I personally confess that I am lack of it since I didn't have too much experience before.

I want to be happy.. But genuinely.. My emotions must talk.. All in all, I need to understand women's spirit at first.. Thank you for your encouragement to me.. I am very appreciated..🙏

[Guy13]

I do not see anyway t get her and keep her. She seems to explosive and unreliable. I imagine her last relationship was the same and he cheated just to get her to leave him alone? No idea?

[Asker]

Exactly.. She said me that her ex boyfriend also texted someone on TikTok but she didn't break up with him.. and his parents didn't accept her as she claimed too. But she has erased me immediately whereas I didn't text in flirtious way even I didn't know that girl just randomly found on instagram. She said me that you cheated me..

[Guy13]

Try to forget about it. Easier said than done. Hang in there,

[Asker]

I am feeling messed up and mistaken.. Wish I could delete that message of which I text that girl but never guessed.. because I do never text anyone normally..

[Guy13]

I doubt you would ever walk well for her. There is no good enough for her.

[pearlypink22]

oh please. her ex didn’t cheat on her for her to leave him alone. he cheated on her and ruined her perception of people and he’s the reason she’s the way she is. i’m not sure why victims are always the ones that get the blame.

[Light909090]

The best part about this is how Fast people love someone.

[Asker]

What do you mean here? For me or her?

[Light909090]

Anybody I don’t experience any of that love stuff.
So I’m Gucci

[Light909090]

I would suggest to you that you bang her sister and Date her sister.
Might as well bang em
Bang her mom as well
If you can. Just bang as much females as you can.

[SecretsofKB]

Yeah, she is definitely insecure. I've been cheated on previously, but I've never demanded or even asked to see any of my partner's messages.

I know it sucks and I know it hurts, but honestly, it's better that you both broke up now than after you've invested more time in each other. She is clearly not ready for a relationship and that would have caused some serious issues down the road if you both continued to date.

[pearlypink22]

you need to reach out to her somehow and explain to her whatever it is that actually happened. tell her your true genuine feelings for her, apologize for doing anything that may have set her off and tell her that you understand she’s been through a lot and you see where her feelings are coming from, and that you’re willing to be patient with her and gain her trust and to show her you genuinely care and you’re not out to get her like the last guy. but don’t just say it, actually prove it and do it. if you really want her it won’t matter if you’re blocked, you’ll force the issue and find her. that’s what she’s waiting for. she wants to know she’s wanted.

[Asker]

You are true but why has she blocked me from everywhere if she wantes to know thst she's wanted? I have sent several messages and even text her via Gmail but never replied any of them since our breakup.. She said thst everything was over then she's been lost!

[pearlypink22]

have you considered calling her no caller id? or do you know a friend or family member of hers by any chance? if she won’t respond, try to reach out to one of them and tell them what happened and that you want to speak to her and you’re sorry etc. chances are she’ll hear ab it, and see the effort you’re putting in.

[Asker]

I want to contact her directly but she never responds any of my message. Ahh I can't waste my time by typing her relatives and even her sister also blocked me..

[Amy10223]

Sometimes, what we want back is not really good for us. I feel your girlfriend was extremely insecure, and that showed when she asked to see your phone. She is also irrational for breaking up for such a reason. Ask yourself, do you really want to be ruled by such a person for the rest of your life or for at least some extent? There are so many girls out there who can be much better for you. You miss her because of her being there--but you don't miss her behavior. I would befriend all those girls you couldn't on your instagram and see if you like any of them, and see what becomes of it. her behavior has no excuse--but is what insecure, controlling people do when they feel threatened by other would be-love interests. For your own good, run, dont walk away from this woman.

[XXblack88]

Well she block you without hearing you out. Which is immature on her part. I personally think a person with trust issues needs to work on themselves before getting in another relationship I don't know how long she's been single before you two became boyfriend/ girlfriend. If you can get a hold of her and she's willing to talk/ hear you out go for it however if she's not then you should move on.

[Aribella]

ok
1.) she was toxic so realize it was for the best
2.) remember all your old hobbies the ones you haven't retried in years because life well it's time for them to come back into your regular life
3.) it sounds girly but its not buy some Epsom salt and/or bath bombs (this only works if you have access to a bath tub) sprinkle some of that in the water helps relax the muscles tea baths also work but I don't know as much about that lol
4.) daily affirmations I do 6 now but I used to do 1 (preferably non physical)

that's what I did when I was in that situation

[Aribella]

o yea and remember anyone who trusts your relationship won't have a problem with you fallowing others as long as your not literally stalking them my now wife doesn't mind that I fallow male stripers on Instagram

[Andro36]

If somehow you miss that kind of destructive relationship you do need as much help as she does. Just think for a second what is exactly what you miss rom that relationship and how it helps you to improve your life and what you expect from it. Also think about the future. Probably very deep inside you you hav a misconception of what a healthy relationship is

[Andro36]

@Onashir Fuck you! get out of my profile and stop stalking me

[ZS007]

first things first get off social media. then go out for a walk to clear your head. get some ice cream or go dancing. Just do anything you enjoy. Relax

[Asker]

Wish I could do all these things but a bit tough in recent times after breakup..

[Shamalien]

I mean it’s really difficult when a person is that traumatized. You can call her out on projecting her past experiences onto you and if she’s smart enough she might get it

[devilish-cutie]

find a way to reach out, if its a fresh break up, give her a bit time to cool off

after it try again

[dustybiker]

Sounds like you are better off. Let her go and find someone new to be happy with.

[Asker]

Apparently. But the issue is that I am hard to forget her since we shared many memories spent within this time period of five months..

[dustybiker]

Find something new to do to distract you. Think up something you’ve always wanted to try.

[Asker]

Obviously. But since the breakup is still too recent, it's hard to do this. I am wondering her so much..

[dustybiker]

Right

[Darine123]

I thinks she will get back , but you need try to get her back
She blocked you everywhere? Why don’t you email her?😂😂

[Onashir]

go get laid randomly but with good taste.
I know what I always remember about The Ex that Enjoy giving Head for her pleasure
Not just to plesse. I would comprise Much for her needs

[Rockstarrrrr]

I think you should move on... She's too much drama

[maximumpower]

Get a 12-pack, a large order of wings and congratulate yourself on kicking her to the curb.

[chocomilk99]

Buy a good lotion n fast wifi... N chill

[captain_voidwalker]

Copious amounts of alchohol

[Fuentes]

Block her back and move on

[Onashir]

Kool Bart Simpson

[Fuentes]

@Onashir thank you sir

[Inmypants]

Immediately get laid!

[jimmy2]

Good for you keep away