Why do people here feel you can get mature and experience life only through breakups and relationships?

[Anonymous]

I have noticed this pattern here or in general. Most people feel only breakups and single/multiple relationships can only teach you important lessons about life or make you tough or mature.

Generally, I believe those people have never seen or had to experience life outside of relationships. Nothing actually good/bad happened to them apart from relationship drama.

Not all are fortunate to think about sex, past relationships, and drama all the time. Over the world, people see childhood abuse, from parents or from known persons. Grow up poor, hungry, tortured, without education or basic human rights, and much more. It's a high-class privilege to get into a relationship where you have to struggle for existence, and money every day.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

To me, emotional maturity is important and there's a lot one learns about oneself and life while going through relationships.

I've had a lot of growth following relationships. My friends see a lot of growth following relationships.

To me, it's important to be experienced in many things. This includes in love, loss, and the complexities of sharing a life with another.

No one gets it right the first time. Or the second. And probably not the third.

I have higher expectations. I'm very fine with having to be more picky - it's half of why I live my life the way I do, is to meet people operating at a "higher" level.

It's not that ONLY relationships teach you these things. It's just that I value having had relationships and grown from them.

I don't enjoy being "a first". It's not a good experience for me. I enjoy being with people who know who they are, what they want, what they don't want, and who are willing to put in the work to get it.

Someone without that relationship experience is not going to know how they'll react as a partner. They won't know exactly what they want, or their weaknessess or strengths as part of a couple. They have no previous experience to draw on in the area of a romantic relationship.

It's like hiring someone for a specialized job that requires they be able to simply step in and get to work.

Someone else might be happy hiring a total newbie and training them. I'm not. It isn't what I'm looking for.

[Asker]

I haven't mentioned about being someone's first or first time relationships. Although that can be a subsection but less relationship experience can be like you had one/two and your partner had way more. But that's not the point. From your comment it can be see that a large section of your life revolves around relationships. People can know what they want if they have a proper intelligence. They can see and watch the people around them and there parents and relatives. That hiring and tutoring newbie analogy is bogus and work for people with less intelligence. I do know and have seen a lot of smart people from academic or technical fields. It's not always you have to teach a newbie. If they are smart enough they figure it out on their own. Anyways you can always have your personal preference and although that's valid for you but can be not true in general.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Lol, you make an awful lot of assumptions.

I'm actually not very centered around relationships. I'm very content being single and will stay single for the next few years as I focus on building a life I can be proud of sharing.

It's one thing to have intelligence, but no amount of it trumps lived and learned experience. Hypotheticals are not a substitute for real experience.

But you are correct - this is all my own personal preference. There's always exceptions to the rule.

I just don't believe they're worth the risk.

[Asker]

I have already mentioned that I have drawn conclusions based on your earlier comment not you in general.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Lol, that's a poor attempt at backtracking, but have fun. ✌🏽

[dustybiker]

Everyone is different with different experiences. We’re all just trying to figure out this crazy life at our own paces.

[jshm2]

Because they are more human and sociable, than insular clowns like you seem to be.

You need to have dealt with people and been intimate to full grasp the human experience. Being a loner, incel, or lifelong bachelor ; you're just a human shell with nothing in community or legacy.

[Asker]

I wasn't talking about my personal story you moron, generally people who start personal attacks on social media posts have baboon brains. There's more to life than relationships only. I bet your brain can't understand that even at your age.

[Guy13]

Because they have no life experience. Lots of 16-25 here…

[Asker]

Yes but I don't think it's about age. You can already see more than 30 year olds are getting angry about it that they possess no experience in lives other than relationships.

[Guy13]

Some people, especially narcissist, never advance pass their childhood. Immature people act and speak immaturely. Can't do nothing but slide past them...