Are his comments enough for me to break up with my boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

I need advice- my boyfriend of 2yrs and I were talking and at one point we were talking about our personalities etc.
Im a nurse and he said something like ‘I don’t think you’re caring by nature but you care because it makes you happy’ and ‘you have a priority list and you’re at the top’…basically saying I’m selfish and I like to put myself above others…like he was saying my family and I like to treat other people like we are above them…? And I’m a taker instead of being a giver like he thinks he is.
Then he was surprised I got annoyed, I didn’t say much because I didn’t know what to say but I’m glad to know how he really feels about me I guess…is this enough to break up with him? Would you?

[MrOracle]

Set your feelings aside for a moment and ask yourself, honestly, if there is any truth to what he's saying. Meaning, if someone was to follow you around with a camera like on a reality TV show, and then edited together the spicy moments, would any of those support his position? If so, then instead of being offended or upset, maybe this is an opportunity for growth. Or, maybe you've never taken the time to explain some of your behaviors to him in a way that would help him understand why you are who you are.

No one is perfect, and most of us have plenty of problems and weak areas that we could do better at. That doesn't mean you can't cooperate with each other, cut each other a bit of slack, and work things out so that you can build a relationship - but it also means that if the two of you want different things from each other, and are unable to provide those things to the other person, then the two of you simply aren't a good fit, and you would do better to break up and seek a better match.

Most people today (men and women alike) get together with someone based solely on mutual attraction - he likes her and she likes him - often without knowing ANYTHING relevant about that person as far as a long-term relationship goes. But attraction alone is not a foundation to build a relationship on - you must be long-term compatible. That means you must have similar and compatible morals, values, and life-goals, and that means a lot of conversation.

What does he think about marriage? Kids? Religion? Money? Careers? Lifestyle? Where does he want to live? How would he want kids to be raised? Does he, or you, have family obligations that will affect you as a couple? These are just a few of the more important examples, but there are going to be others that are important to you personally as well.

The answers to all of those questions (and more) are FAR more important than "is he hot?" or "do you feel butterflies in your stomach?", because even if, at first, he was, and you did, neither of those things matter right now, do they? Of course not - those things don't sustain a relationship. Long-term compatibility, a commitment, and a sense of duty, on both sides, is what sustains a relationship.

[Massageman]

I understand what you inferred from his statements. Perhaps he doesn't realize what he was implying with his response.

I'd call the count "0 and 2". Give him one more pitch before calling him "out" and back in the dugout.

[noonejustme]

It’s normal to put yourself as top priority, how r u going to do crap if ur not taking care of yourself?

communication is always key, maybe you might want to talk to him about his comment, since he doesn’t understand what he said wrong. Whatever you choose, I wish you the best of luck

[Asker]

Thanks :)

[slatyb]

More than enough. His remarks are unkind. He doesn't respect you or care about your feelings. Get the hell out before you waste any more time on him.

[SlothySlob]

Judging from the description, he's right. Why?
Instead of showing some sort of self reflection, your first thought is he's being mean to me and I should break up with him, I just need the confirmation from other people.