Im... confused?

[Formal_Chicken]

Me and my girlfriend (both 18) are in relationship for about a month. For me, this is my very first relationship. I'm kinda the "shy, introverted, lonely, diffident" kind of a guy. We both are obsessed with each other, but there are a few things that throw me off and I really need valid opinions from the experienced A few weeks ago, she was at a party, and she got groped (neck kisses and rubbing inner thigh area) by a guy. She admitted to me that she might have lead him on and given him mixed signals while being drunk and as she realised what's going on, she pushed him away Before we got into a relationship, she told me that she never kissed a guy before (even tho she has dated 3 guys) and just yesterday, she told me that she had sex with her ex. About 2 days ago, her ex called her to meet up, and she went to meet him too, without telling me before hand. I don't want to be a bitch about the it but it felt so bad. She also has a LOT of guy friends, like... a lot. She frequently hangs out with them, gets drunk, gets high with them. Being a guy, I know everyone wants to get in her pants There's still more, but these were major problems that are making me mad. I feel very insecure, anxious and scared about this and I don't want to mess this up because of me overthinking.

[Effably]

I am going to start this by explaining two simple concepts to you. Attractive jealousy and abusive jealousy.

The attractive one is wanting her for yourself. Letting her know you do. Its a bit of possessiveness, a bit of showing you care. A bit selfish but selfishness can be attractive at times.
The abusive one is of course when it becomes about limiting her and what she can do rather than your desires.

As long as you remain in the first one, you can be emotional about this. Her sharing the grinding thing might very well be to illicit such a response. A pain game if you will. Which would be a childish game but you did say you are both new to things and literally everyone does this one at some stage.

Her changing her story is a red flag. I would be upset. At the very least I'd want to know and understand why. Just accepting things to avoid fighting is not healthy. A healthy relationship is based on how you resolve difficulties, not if you have them.

Be open. Honest. Vulnerable. Jealous if you feel you are. Just remember where the lines should be and never cross them. Beyond that, set a good example for communicating.

Lastly I do not think you are overthinking what you shared here. They are all legitimate concerns that deserve being addressed. That does not mean she is doing anything bad. Only that you are right to want clarity.

[Guy13]

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩. Got It?

[SueShe]

First things first. She is obviously lying to you and her statements are very contradictory. That is not a good way to start a relationship and if you want my honest opinion, she is definitely not the right person for you since she is your first relationship and she is giving you mixed signals from the start.

There are too many things that are a huge red flag in any relationship, not just yours. Those would be

- Getting regularly intoxicated.

- Letting herself be groped by leading men to behave the way they do.

- Pretending she never kissed a guy before, yet she had intercourse and fornicated with men.

- Having a lot of male friends. This fact alone is not an issue but having so many male friends and getting intoxicated is a reason for concern.

If I were in your situation, I would sever this toxic relation as she is obviously just misusing you and I would be anything that you are just another body on her list of victims.

[PrettyPriya]

Well, I do not have to opine. Thank you. 🙂

[SueShe]

@PrettyPriya Most welcome and have a great day. I'll send you a quick DM :-)

[Formal_Chicken]

But it's also that she introduced me to her mom. She didn't do that to guys before.

[SueShe]

That does not have to mean anything. For me, the fact that she has lied to you earlier and that she seems to get intoxicated quite frequently is enough for me to place a huge red flag on that person.

It is your first relationship and that is normal that you want to hang onto it but just remember to be cautious with that person.

[wittymilf]

She sounds a bit inconsistent. You sound to in love. I’m afraid 😂. I can’t help. This is just a practice relationship, don’t take it too seriously

[boggboss]

She honestly sounds like she is nit ready ti be in a relationship she is showing ao many red flags you are going to get burned here

[Iron_Man]

That’s not good at all maybe she’s not serious you better straighten her out

[Anonymous]

You said it, you are insecure. Get over it.