When you’re the one who initiated the break up, and your partner stops contacting you, does it honestly have any effect on you?

[Anonymous]

[Cynicaldreamer]

Isn't that a good thing?

Perhaps I am just being logically, but if I broke up with someone because I no longer wanted to be with them, and they acknowledged my wishes by not talking to me anymore, that says that: a) they're respecting your wishes, b) it wasn't meant to be, and c) you can move on in peace.

I sure wouldn't want someone I broke up with begging, pleading, or worse, staying in contact with me post-break up. It's hurtful to you and them. They might be hurting, but they also realize trying to contact you is a moot point, so they're taking the high road by not bothering you anymore and doing what YOU asked them to do.

[Anonymous]

I recently split up with my guy after 3 years. We tried to go back together but I got cold feet and he got mad that I had lied. I didn't do that but he got the wrong idea of just us being friends and talking and messaging still. But one thing led to an ugly other things (S) and we just message on FB now but more he is doing because next week is his birthday and I am not doing anything for him. Will he still like my stuff then or talk to me on FB? Let's see. Let things go now and consider it meant to be that his NC is what he wants for now. To help get over you.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks to Gag. We are back Now messaging more. His bro is very ill.

[Moose304]

As a male with one exception during my life, all of my breakups were mutual and both of us move on. That one exception she cheated on me and I kicked her out of my life. To this question why would you take notice of this happening? Regardless of the sex of the person, it takes a bit of an ego trip to think like this. In all honesty, if you break up with someone and then get bothered by the fact they are not kissing your butt later? Well, only people that are a bit Narcissistic think like this. Not trying to piss in your cornflakes this morning, just keeping it real!

[Moose304]

This video does a very good job of answering this question in my opinion.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wMSNydRcsM

[Fireguy17]

Not at all.

The reason that I broke up with someone is that I no longer wish to be with them and I'm moving on.

You can't move on if you are still connected to them.

Unless you just progressed to being friends, it's just time to cut ties and move on.

If they cut off communication first that issues has just been easily solved.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Isn’t the Whole point of breaking up with someone, not wanting them in your life anymore?🤷‍♀️So wouldn’t them not contacting you be seen as a good thing?🤷‍♀️
unless you broke up with them as a shit test/playing games/expecting them to fight for you and the relationship… But why should they fight for something you yourself didn’t fight for/gave up on when YOU initiated the break up… Guess you had a “careful what you wish for” moment

[ManOnFire]

So basically what she's talking about is what is known as the "no contact rule," where the person - usually the one who was dumped - refrains from texting, calling, or coming into contact with the person who broke up with them. A lot of dating coaches teach this, and I learned how to do it myself with a breakup once. Some teach you to do no contact on purpose to see if it will make your ex (the dumper) miss you and be the one to reach out, but others teach you to do no contact not solely for that reason but to also reboot yourself after the breakup and help you to heal and move on by not trying to have any further contact with your ex.

No contact does work a lot of the time, but not just on exes but even family members and friends. Your radio silence eventually does create a psychological impact on a person when they start wondering about you and why you aren't contacting them anymore.

[Moose304]

This is a topic I have found fascinating over the last few years. Most of the time when you see this dynamic it means the female has monkey branched into a new relationship and friend-zoned the poor bastard. When the guy no contact's them as manonfire pointed out it drives them crazy because he is not kissing their butt. Females generally DO NOT break up with a guy unless there is another guy on the horizon. Same with asking for open relationships.

[ManOnFire]

@Moose304 Yep. I had an ex once who I did no contact with and it killed her. She was even trying to make it a point of being seen with her new man in front of me to try to make me jealous but it didn't work. I was already over her.

[kylee2437]

If you are going to break up with someone, you need to be prepared for any outcome possible. My ex initiated a break up with me only didn’t want to fully break up with me and I broke up with him in exchange, he then told me to go fuck myself. Like if you aren’t fully ready to get rid of someone, why put them through all that?

[Guy13]

It would not on me besides 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[Nash62826]

If we broke up cause he cheated or the relationship was toxic then I wouldn't anything but not after the whole bawling my eyes out but happy he didn't contact me. If it was another reason let's say I lost feelings for them or I was moving then I would feel sad they didn't wanna speak with me anymore. Hope this helps

[Summeroflove]

It depends. If there is no need for them to contact you anymore. Just let them go. Unless you need to reach out. It’s better to move on your separate ways.


Some people can end on good terms. Some even try again later on.

But it’s just probably not meant to be.


It’s better for someone to just walk out of your life. Rather then beg you and then stalk you

[ManOnFire]

You're talking about No Contact. And yes, it does affect even the dumper. It works on everyone actually, but it usually does work on the dumper, yeah. Because they begin to wonder why the other person hasn't tried to reach out.

[Biancam13]

Nope, it would be a good thing. I only break up with people when I don't feel that it's working anyone or I have lost feelings/don't want to be with them. Sure I might miss the conversations for a bit, but I would know it's for the best.

[Kori1236]

Most of my breakups were mutual. Except for the last one, he felt he did nothing wrong; I vehemently disagreed. But I cut contact first, he continued to reach out until he finally got the hint and I had to threaten legal action.

[Jdjfjcjj]

Admittingly, it can have have me questioning why due to expectations that she would chase. It's an egocentric way of thinking I'll readily admit. But, without it, it can leave doubt on whether you made the right move. (Only for a short while)

[dustybiker]

You always have the love you had for people that you had when everything worked.

Anyone that says the end of a relationship doesn’t hurt on some level is lying to themselves.

[nspencer]

Honestly if it doesn’t the person probably never loved you. I mean I get people can fall out of love for whatever reasons, but the care should still be there.

[nspencer]

Wait sorry I read your question wrong. Hmmm I don't know not necessarily. You don’t really know what they are thinking they could just think it’s for the better

[annabananna]

If I break up I usually would not try to continue contact unless their was some regret. If I did contact and the person didn’t respond….. I guess I may feel a little sad but at the same time I would understand and respect their wish to be left alone.

[Bethany22]

Yes, it affects me. I have started to avoid verbally breaking up with guys just in case i start regretting my decision later on.

[BlueScorpio]

Usually the person that wants to break up deals better with than the person being broken up with.

[LovingJo]

Of course it does.. Because you wanted the chase!! You run the risk of losing people, when playing games like this, unfortunately.

[Charlesbrandonf]

Yes it would, we initiated breakup from relationship not from our life. If they stopped talking to us. It will have effect on us.

[Anonymous]

Nope, in fact I think it’s for the better. If we break up but still talking as usual there’s no space to get over it. Doesn’t mean we can’t be friends in the future.

[mobiusforniner]

If she was someone I didn't love, then no, not really

[WhitneySnow]

Not really. I’m probably relieved. Unless for some reason I still really like them.

[DailyAsk]

The one who initiated it, will always be the one who moves on fast.

That doesn’t make them bad.

[FilmGuy93]

Why would it? If I'm at the point of breaking up, it's because I want you out of my sight.

[hIopinionated_]

Damn that’s harsh and I love it lol

[FilmGuy93]

lmao I'm sorry to be harsh, but it's so frustrating to deal with a lot of people's temper tantrums

[hIopinionated_]

I agree. It was just hilarious the way you worded it

[Juxtapose]

A little but I tend to really hang on in relationships so if I'm the one the break up then I'm really, really ready to leave.

[Mangospacho]

Nah. I’m pretty much over the person even before the break up. I wouldn’t even notice if she just stopped talking to me altogether

[es20490446e]

If I break up it is because it is a quite bad situation.

So I find PEACE.

[ZenJen444]

Why would it? I'm not understanding the question. If you broke it off why would you expect them to contact you? Sounds delusional

[Anonymous]

No. Because if I ended it there was a good reason why.

[Steamnir]

No I wouldn't unless i love them

[Sisters_Of_Time]

The only effect it has on me is joy and relief!

[TroyDT2]

No. Why would it?

[AsaKyo]

I've never initiated a breakup

[Crankor]

That's the way it should be isn't it?

[Jamie05rhs]

Of course, if you loved them.

[Anonymous]

Your just not being mindful enough.

[Jess_D]

Nope

[Anonymous]

no...

[Brando10222]

Yes it does

[Anonymous]

Fuck you