I don't know what happened, I feel idc about people?

[Anonymous]

I am a very sensitive person, I've always been. People always like me, and I make good relationships anywhere I go. I used to be of those people who "absorb" other's sadness and bad feelings, I wanted to help other's fix their problems, be there for everyone, etc. Now I noticed some weeks ago that I definitely kinda don't care about anyone but me, I started noticing this some months ago when a friend got sad after a break up, some weeks ago someone had a terrible breakdown and I felt nothing, I'm around stressed people and I don't feel a thing but my own feelings, I feel almost totally neutral about others, and I honestly don't want to fix others' problems anymore or being near people who are drowning in their feelings.

Is there a problem with me? How do I call this change? Is it my age? I'm almost 21

[xJeremyx]

As a really compassionate person, I can somewhat relate.

When you keep helping and supporting the people around you, you take on their feelings and emotions. It gets to a point where you feel drained and absolutely tired, and depressed. And when you realise that helping people is harming yourself, you begin to shut out those urges to help people in every way possible.

I, for one, loved helping people around me and supporting them. But eventually they become distant, they may go back to the same habits that got them into that situation in the first place, or they may even bite the hand that was stretched out to pull them up.

For a period of time, this really affected me. To the point that I did not want to befriend troubled people and support them. Now, I am better, I still try, but I have realised I am not a one-size fits all solution. I refer them to counsellors if need be. I advise them to get help. Sure, I can be a listening ear, but I had to learn (and am still learning) to let go of the emotions they pour on you.

Maybe that letting go is why you feel this way. Its not that you do not care, its just that you do not let their emotions overwhelm you anymore.

[Asker]

Thank you, and thanks for sharing

[whirled_up_girl]

I think it's probably better not to absorb other's sadness too much. While it may seem selfish or self centered sometimes we can't really fix others problems for them, sometimes we have to let them fix their own problems. It's doesn't necessary mean you don't care about them, maybe you just recognize that you don't want other people's problems to start dragging you down. I used to be the way you are, always wanted to make it right for my friends and family but I what I discovered was that by helping them too much I was enabeling them not to face their issues head on. It's a little bit like tough love but sometimes it's actually better for them and for you.

[ElvenMr]

I noticed this as well. I have a friend who is really pessimistic. I was always positive and optimistic, trying to cheer others up, seeing the good etc. But i became more pessimistic after spending too much time with these pessimistic friends. So now i'm trying to be my happy and cheerful self again.

[Asker]

That's how I've been thinking lately, it might be better to just let people break down and fix themselves. Feels selfish, and kinda weird, but maybe it's because how we are taught to worry about everything. Thanks for your reply :)

[Asker]

@ElvenMr You'll get there and shine bright again.

[whereismyjohnny]

It doesn’t have anything with age. Something changed inside you. Are you stressed or going through some stuff?

[Asker]

I thought maybe it has to do with age because I'm more mature and focused now. No, I'm doing great. Other comments made me think there's nothing wrong with this actually

[Anonymous]

Are you depressed or stressing about life?

[Asker]

No, I actually used to have emotional problems due to childhood stuff, but managed to get over that and now I feel amazing, confident, I'm doing great.

[Opinion Owner]

That's awesome and congrats.

[Asker]

Thank u. This lowkey worries me tho, I don't know why I'm so insensible about others now.

[Opinion Owner]

Their is nothing wrong with caring about yourself over others, because it can be very toxic when you focus on everyone else's issues and put yours on hold.

[Asker]

Yeah, you're right, thank u

[Opinion Owner]

You are very welcome.😊