I messed up again. Did I lose her forever now?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been missing quality time with my wife for over a week now and basically felt ignored all week. I had been trying to get her attention all week and finally just ended up blowing up at her a couple nights ago. The next morning she said I yelled and cussed at her (I didn’t yell at her but did cuss). I tried telling her I was trying to get her attention and been feeling ignored all week. She finally said at the end of the conversation that she didn’t want to talk to me and be left alone. It has been over 2 days now that she won’t talk to me and will leave the room if I try talking to her. I just wanted to talk and say I’m sorry.

Is she done with me for good now or just needs time to think?

Should I step in and say I’m sorry and that I was a dumbass for treating her like that since she is the love of my life and I should never have done that? Or should I just leave her alone and hope she talks to me again?

[quaranta]

You should leave her some space if she can't even stand your presence, but also, to face the new page in a different way, this time.
You have to work on yourself, on your communication, and she has to cooperate as well. Unfortunately, after things like these, it's not sufficient to just "forgive" each other. Forgiveness removes the anger, and things will seem to be back as normal, but that won't be the same for real because forgiveness doesn't cancel the "memory" of what she saw. She knows, and will remember for long, what you are capable of, and won't trust you fully about that. She will walk on eggshells more and give up any attempt to get anything working with you more and more, each of those times you messed up, stacked up on each other, regardless if she forgave you or not every time. It's about facts, she aknowledged every time what you do and what you will do again, by trend, every time reconfirmed and reconfirmed.
So, if she will restart talking to you, you should start thinking with her about a way to improve communication from now on, meaning: when you have a problem you communicate with her in healthy ways and on time instead of using aggression (active or passive aggression too, like indirect remarks etc), and create a safe space for her to tell what her problems are, so that she can trust you won't overreact. Most likely her problems are about losing trust and so any inspiration and enthusiasm in the relationship, maybe she sees you like a grown baby or something, and is not "that much" into you anymore. Would she be able to declare something like that to you without causing some overreaction? If not, then that's where the safe space needs to exist.
If you are clueless about how to create a safe space for both and good communication skills, you may ask the help of a couple therapist (this is the main thing they do).
After a very long time made of functioning practices, trust can be rebuilt, slowly. But the time you'll mess up again, even just once, it will respawn all the older feedback, and stack on that, destroying the newly recovered trust, all in once.
So be very careful about this aspect because the current trend can't go anywhere else than pulling so hard the limits one day they will break, and you have no alternative than trying to invert that, actively. Being back to norm won't fix what's stacking up behind.

[loveslongnails]

Go stay at a friend's house. Leave her a note saying you recognize what a bitch you were and when she's ready to let you give a heartfelt apology, please get in touch. Make sure you eat enough humble pie. Cursing at your wife is pure stupidity, dude.

[Guy13]

Step away and hope for the best. Just the sight turns her stomach has to end. Out of sight for awhile...