Isn't it so obvious when a man won't commit?

[SarahS98]

I still see too many women falling for them. Those men throw obvious red flags that they won't commit and then those women later on complain about men. No one forced them to stay with them. I find them so obvious.

Here are example of obvious red flags I'm referring to:

- For instance a boyfriend that goes into clubs and parties every single weekend and is out flirting with other women obviously isn't a family oriented man.

- He has a history of living together with a bunch of past gfs and breaking up with every one of them. Obviously he's not going to commit. He's having fun getting sex and free meals.

- He expresses his negative views on commitment from the beginning but yet the woman still stays with him, thinking she'll change his mind. Girl he has already told you he won't commit, what more do you need!!!

- He fails to keep up with his plans and is unpunctual on dates. He says he'll meet you at 6pm but doesn't show up and instead parties. Girl throw him to the curb. If he isn't serious to his words or tardy on dates, why would a woman think he'll commit to a family? lol

Updates

1 y

I think those men are already throwing all the obvious signs but many women somehow either ignore them or think he'll change. Nope.
A party guy isn't going to suddenly become a serious family-oriented man just because he loves you.

[kylee2437]

I’ll play devils advocate here a little because I used to be that girl that would say “what’s wrong with these women” but the bottom line is that sometimes we get so caught up in a person, we ignore the red flags. A lot of men are out here manipulating women into thinking they want commitment as well. With a lot of abuse situations , a guy will distract you from the guy that he just doesn’t want commitment. Boundaries and standards are definitely a must for us women , but just keep in mind that just because you have this mindset, doesn’t mean it won’t happen to you

[SarahS98]

Yes there are manipulators that lied about wanting commitment but the woman still has to look into actions, not just words.
Thank you for warning me. Though I'm actually engaged and my wedding is set for March 20th. I'll be a virgin on my wedding.

[kylee2437]

@SarahS98 absolutely. Some charming men are great with their words unfortunately. Congrats on your wedding, I hope your marriage continues to be healthy and full of love

[Anonymous]

I think either liking or loving that boyfriend either blinds them to the truth or they're just stupid. I see this relationships so often it surprises me as well how a girl could be so blind or stupid.

[SarahS98]

This basically. It's so idiotic. Also a man that has a history of breaking up with every single girlfriend (the relationships not lasting) that would tell me there is something wrong with him. That would be an obvious sign.

[Staximus]

Some women think they "need a challenge" or "they can change him" some silly fucking bullshit like that. They want the bullshit drama. They set themselves up for disappointment by trying to win the heart of a shit bag dude and then wonder what went wrong. It's like they want to be treated like shit. They would leave a good guy for one who plays games with their mind, body, and their heart like a fucking yo-yo because they are easily influenced by emotional manipulation.

[SarahS98]

Indeed. Those are the very same women that then complain about being in the ''forever girlfriend'' zone. They're the same women in the ''We've been living for 8 years, I cooked, cleaned, did everything for him, when is he going to propose'' stories.
He already gave all of the red flags that he won't commit and they still stay, waiting for some miracle to happen. While they're waiting, they're getting older and still believing that he'll propose one day LOL.

[SarahS98]

Honestly men aren't complicated creatures. You guys generally are simple and to the point. When a man won't commit, he'll make it very obvious and his words don't match his actions.

[bamesjond0069]

Yes. Women think they have so many dating opportunities however when they narrow it down to marriage opportunities many have few to none. It's about the same as men with sex opportunities. Women don't like that so they live in lala land and pretend they have all these dating options when really they don't.

So it's not the men but moron women who don't want to live in reality.

[SarahS98]

Those women the same ones I keep hearing about ''omg, it's been 6 years, why won't he proposed''. I feel like telling them ''honey, he already threw all the signs of never committing, are you really that idiotic to still wait and believe in fantasies that he'll one day propose, lol''.

[bamesjond0069]

Right exactly. And it only further ruins the overall matching for dating. If the top women just lowered their standards to get the best man willing to marry them, then people would start pairing off. But what happens is we have a ton of alpha Chad's and homewrecker women who should have been taken off the market long ago but instead get to run around further messing things up. I say this as one of the Chad's lol but I mean I would have married a long time ago if I could have gotten the kind of woman I wanted. But now I'll just fuck everyone and not commit to any really. Which doesn't help things in terms of everyone if I'm being honest.

[SarahS98]

You becoming a Chad that's a decision you made. That's on you. If more men wanted party girls, I would never see myself copying from others just because that's what most want. I would continue being true to myself and if someone doesn't want me for who I am, screw them.

[SarahS98]

Same to guys. Just because some women are falling for those jerks and Chads, doesn't mean you have to become someone you're not. That's like giving so much importance to approval and fitting in. By doing that, you're still seeking attention.

[likelyOK]

It doesn’t sound like you didn’t “deserve” the Kind of woman you wanted. Especially since you turned out to fuc* boy

[bamesjond0069]

@likelyOK having a hot Virgin homemaker when I was young and innocent would have made me happy. Instead I was treated badly by women and couldn't find a virgin. Then as I got experienced I now found out shit I'm hot and very appealing to women and can get lots of them and have become accustomed to that. Also now these days there are almost no hot Virgin wife material women in America and therefore that's not really an option anymore. So I just choose the next best thing which is lots of women. So yes I chose to be a Chad. But from a societal perspective, a woman ought to have been available and been good to me a long time ago when I would have married and I should be out of the dating pool. That's me being honest. Instead society and frankly women, make themselves low quality and then it leaves men like me to run around single... which gives women who I'd never commit to the illusion they can be with me... when they can't. Which furthers the social cycle we are seeing now. I didn't HAVE TO learn how to be this way, I just happened to be in an environment surrounded by women that only allowed me to thrive by being this way.

[SarahS98]

Why would a smart virgin with values wait for you? Usual like attracts like. Sounds like your values are similar to those of the low quality women you're complaining about.
and no it's not hard finding a virgin with values. I'll still be a virgin on my wedding on March 20th. However, finding a smart virgin that will accept low quality Chads is indeed super, super hard.

[bamesjond0069]

Well granted maybe what you say is true... if it was, wouldn't I find and be denied by virgins? I don't find any and occasionally when i do they dont deny me but are otherwise unsuitable ie not attractive or not wifely. I found my girlfriend who was a Virgin and we are together but she's literally the only one I've ever found that meets my bare minimum requirements for a relationship but she had sex with me quickly so no Virgin until wedding night either. So... I don't think all these virgins are denying me. I can't even find them to be denied by them lmao

[SarahS98]

Do you have Madonna-Whore complex by any chance?

[bamesjond0069]

Yes. Like most men. I'm fine with fucking sluts, but I'd never have anything relationshipwise with one it's completely disgusting and morally wrong. But back to the original point, these sluts hound me and stick around and they will never get me for a serious relationship and then a year or two later of being a friends with benefits they are ask me if I'll marry them or some other bullshit. Fuck no since I'm not a moron.

[SarahS98]

then you get what you attract. You're not a quality, serious guy either.

[bamesjond0069]

I attract almost all women I come into contact with. I'm hot, successful, cool, social whatever. I never even meet virgin women. Like example I went to the youth group at church, which even though I'm older I'm very popular and liked so I was brought as an invite. There I end up hanging out with a small group of 18 yo girls. We talked about relationships and all of them admitted they had premarital sex. I had done this at multiple churches because I wanted to find a wife but none yielded results. I mean if I can't find a virgin in church where would one expect to find one?

[SarahS98]

In college, libraries, bookstores, science clubs, supermarkets, dating site, parks, etc.

[SarahS98]

My fiance didn't meet me at church. He met me at a supermarket by random chance.

[bamesjond0069]

Well I'm not sure you appreciate how rare it is. I'm above average good looking that even women will approach me sometimes and I talk to new girls constantly everywhere I go. I also get tons of matches on dating apps, which I've tried the more conservative and traditional sorts of places besides just tinder. So across the board I constantly go on dates every single week. I don't meet any virgins at all typically. Over the last 8 years, I've met about 1 Virgin per year however that doesn't speak to their other qualities. Like what good is a Virgin if she's 300lbs and can't cook? Or what good is she if she is a super feminist and expects me to be the housewife? Lol. Or what about if she doesn't tell me she was a Virgin (I knew she was inexperienced but she said she had sex before) and after we stopped being friends with benefits she then tells me she's a virgin... and who knows maybe it's just a lie to try and keep me... can't trust that. Just a few actual examples of the very very few virgins I met over years of talking up tons of women. I will say over half of women will immediately try to have sex with me. 99% want to have sex by the second date. And about 30% end up being married or in relationships and hide it from me. So overall I have pretty poor perspective of the general population of women. The women who mostly exclude themselves often are party girls from college. I think they just like to deny a hot guy sometimes for ego boost. And also women my age who are very successful, many like me but many are very very picky. Neither group is likely to be virgins. I generally focus on 18 to 20 as best as I can tell. So... from my perspective what the fuck am I supposed to think? You are the virgin so every interaction you have in dating is about how you date. Every interaction has a Virgin involved. My point is your experience is biased.

[bamesjond0069]

I forgot the Virgin who was waiting till marriage but said she gives great bjs and gives them to basically anyone who asks and is a "bj slut" her words. Smh.

[SarahS98]

I'm waiting till marriage and haven't done anything sexual with my fiance. Just romantic which includes quality time, hugging, kissing and making-out, watching movies, TV, spending time with the family and caressing each other with clothes on.

[bamesjond0069]

No I'm not saying you. Just one I met. I would love to date women who felt like you do about sex. Never really met one.

[SarahS98]

The thing is you seemed to separate girls into either someone to just have sex and ditch or someone to marry. My fiance I'm with is actually a low count man that's only been with one past long-term girlfriend. If the girl is like me, she'll associate with someone of similar mindset, similar values, family oriented and she's doesn't date Chads.
You're going to have a hard time and your chances of finding one like me is very slim.

[SarahS98]

It's an obvious reason someone like me isn't with a Chad (a total polar opposite of her) and that's because people of both gender that have a history of sleeping around are already weak in establishing bonding and will likely cheat during the marriage. After all past behaviors are good predictors of future ones.

[bamesjond0069]

Your logic is flawed though. Whether my body count is 0 or in the multiple hundreds (😉), how does that keep me from FINDING a Virgin? Does that make the cute cash register girl I'm about to ask for her number if she was a Virgin run away and not ring up my items? Why would it make it hard to FIND one? Your logic would make sense that the ones I find would DENY me. But I never even find one really in the first place. Secondly most girls, including the virgins I've found that are not good for other reasons as well as those at least close with only one or two body count and maybe not hookups... those girls have been highly interested in me. My current girlfriend was a Virgin that's good enough to be with for a long term relationship but not one I'd marry since she had sex with me immediately upon meeting me. So while that's nice, she has no sexual morals and was just waiting for the first hot asf guy to hit on her.

in my opinion girls are not waiting to 18 and they lie. So many people think there are girls waiting and there aren't really any that do. Yes a small handful of exceptions exist however not enough any many can expect he will ever meet one, even if he's chatting up 10+ new girls weekly and going on dates regularly. Some will lie but I'm very skilled at talking to women and getting honest answers so maybe I also am busting though all the girls that are liars many men are falling for.

[SarahS98]

I hope your current girlfriend knows you'll never marry you. You seem to have an extreme Madonna-Whore complex where as soon as you have sex with a girlfriend, you dismissed her as marriage material even though she was a virgin when you met her. I feel sorry for her. She's going to waste her time with you.
Meanwhile you're collecting girlfriend after girlfriend (only living together, which to me seems the same thing as someone that doesn't want to commit) and will never have a life partner... I'll be at the wife zone on March 20th.

[bamesjond0069]

Marriage is not an end goal for men. Nor is marriage in general proof of a woman's success. Marriage for a woman that lasts to a quality man is successful. But I personally know most married women have terrible husband's or have been divorced. So I mean congrats?

[SarahS98]

Does your current girlfriend knows you never plan on marrying? Is she ok with your agenda?

[Ezra_lila]

Why this hit me so hard...

[LazerBean]

Yes, it is.