I don't get to see my girlfriend enough. What should I do?

[assistant]

We've been together for 6 months. But as she has been working freelance and for not having regular working hours we can see each other once or max. twice a week. She says this is enough for a relationship, but I don't think so... What do you guys think about this?

[Ndyaaum]

Honestly my situation is a lot different but similar.. me and my boyfriend been together for 5 years since we were 16 up to now in our 20s.. when we were 16 I understand that we couldn’t see each other so I didn’t really make a big fuss about it.. but once we started to get serious we only see each other once or twice in a year and have to wait till next year.. the sad part is we live in the same city and yet he doesn’t come see me and I always come to see him wasting gas because he lives far near the strip in Vegas.. now we both feel alone need each other kiss and love but can’t because he always making excuses about not coming to see me.. I had a whole vision believe it or not once he turn 23 we still would be in the same position.. and we are 20 got 3 more years for him to change.. but I would say just wait and see where this goes talk it out don’t panic or yell at each other.. and just focus on y’all.. if it changes then good if it doesn’t leave

[Daniela1982]

Wow, you are being played well. Vegas? He probably is seeing show girls and hookers when not seeing you. Once or twice a year and live in the same city? Why are you wasting your time with this player? Find a guy who really wants you and stop being a sucker.

[Ndyaaum]

@daniela1982 I want to focus on myself and honestly I do want someone better for me but it’s hard no one doesn’t want to date at my age they just looking for hookups and not commitment

[CrazyGirl2]

No hun, you are seriously gettin’ played,,, HARD! I’m almost 20, and according to your math, you’re 21. So we are about the same age, so i know exactly what guys are like in OUR generation, and I have had two multi-year relationships. I understand that a lot of guys just wanna hook up, so just avoid those guys! I certainly do, by making sure we wait at LEAST 3 months from the first date to sex (usually longer, a LOT LONGER). That eliminates the players and the “hookups”. If you are not going to respect yourself enough to not put up with being treated like shit, then why should this guy (or anyone else) not treat you like shit! Girl, you live in the same city and see each other TWICE A YEAR? What’s wrong with you? That’s SO fucked-up! Someone said he could be hooking up w/ others… no he’s DEF hooking up w/ others. What he MIGHT be is married! I hate to see women getting walked all over like doormats, like this. So please dump this guy, and just be rid of him so you can move on! There are PLENTY of really GREAT guys who are MORE than happy to enter a long-term committed relationship. Maybe its about time that you looked for one of those guys, after you dump this waste of time, mister “you’ll see me twice a year and be happy”!

[Tracker1958]

When men hear a woman say they are working on themselves, what men hear is she wants to F as many men as she can before she starts looking for a husband. Men are told to avoid women that are ( working on themselves).

[Ndyaaum]

So me working on myself as in finding my career looking for a right path in my life with yahusha on my side mean I’m fucking lmaoo get a life that’s you probably fucking as many as you can @tracker1958

[Tracker1958]

Relationship and marriage is a thing of the pass, it's a free for all out there. The game takes days is to see what sex can F over the other one the fastest and the most.

[Daniela1982]

@CrazyGirl2 You said it better than I. :)

[CrazyGirl2]

Well, it depends! If you TRULY love her, then you will respect her choice, and treasure the time that you DO have together. But if this is SUCH a big deal to you that it could be a deal breaker, then the only thing you can do is let her know and end the relationship! But you need to let her know that it IS over and you are choosing to end it, and NEVER use the threat of ending a relationship to get what you want… THAT is emotional abuse! If her being away 5 days a week is just not acceptable to you, just end it. Otherwise, you need to learn to accept it. You cannot make her feel guilty for doing the job she obviously either loves, or needs so as to advance her career. Like they say, if you love something set it free to live out it’s (or her) dreams. If you don’t and just make her feel guilty for doing what she loves, then you are nothing more than a selfish pri*k!

[Tracker1958]

She is using him as her back up plan.

[CrazyGirl2]

@Tracker1958 Yeah, OR (and I’m going out on a limb here by listening to what the OP wrote… ) She has a job that doesn't allow her to date 5 days a week! Look I don’t know who hurt you so badly, but don’t lay your shitty relationship at the feet of EVERY woman in the western hemisphere! I was raped by a man, but I don’t assume all men are rapists, I know that the VAST overwhelming majority are kind and caring, and want to protect women and girls from predatory men. So maybe don’t assume that ALL women are your mother, or ex, of whomever fucked you up so badly that you are incapable of trusting any woman!

[Tracker1958]

According to women, every woman on the north American continent has been sexual assaulted.

[CrazyGirl2]

@Tracker1958 That is an absolutely ridiculous thing to say, and it’s unbelievably insulting, that you would even HINT that a woman who tells you she’s been raped, was lying! I was raped on my 13th birthday, ALL of my friends, MANY college classmates, my entire family, and most of my 400+ followers on GaG can ALL truthfully say that they know a woman who was raped. Even with ½ of my followers, the classmates in two of my psych classes fam & friends,, it’s gotta be over 500 people who can all say they know someone who’s been raped! In 2019, just over 143,000 women were raped in the U. S. in 2018 it was 139,000! Its like that every year… just in those 2 years, how many people do you think those 282,000 raped women know? Now times that by 10 because every generation is 20yrs! With numbers like that it’s no wonder that most women know at LEAST someONE who was raped. But AS a rape survivor, for you to just minimize and dismiss MY experience by spouting your opinion that “every woman on the north American continent has been sexual assaulted.” That’s just unmitigated and unparalleled Bullshit! I’ve given you receipts, maybe you can provide receipts to back up your “ALL WOMEN” claim?
Source: ucr.fbi.gov/.../table-1

[Tracker1958]

Just make a side peice.

[CrazyGirl2]

@Tracker1958 WTH are you talking about? The only “side pieces’ ” I know of are pistols, (and I already have a Glock 17), and a misogynistic term for the girlfriend of a married man. However, if you meant the second one, then your reply makes absolutely no sense! How does anyone “make” as in manufacture, a girlfriend?

[Telekinetic-Potato]

If it's not enough for you, you need to move on for the sake of the both of you.

Everyone who does freelance work needs to come to terms with the fact that having romantic relationships is a lot harder, especially with someone who is not in a similar industry.

It's gotten in my and pretty much all my colleagues way multiple times. We have so much going on so fast, as much as we want a partner, we don't feel the distance as much as the other person who comes to an empty house at night.

If you stay and leave when you can't handle it, you'll put yourselves through more emotional pain then if you tell her things aren't working out early on and then at least you both have more time to find someone compatible.

I know everyone's different so I hope you take this as just something to consider. It's something I wish I understood better with my last two relationships.

[DaveJord]

Actually one or twice a week is enough for a relationship. How old are you? I mean this is this women's career... so you try to make have to choose you will loose. If not something you can accept, then break it off with her. Not shame in that, but if you love and want to be with her then make it work, once or twice a week.

[AviatorTom]

A couple times a week is fine for dating. If you want more, put a ring on her finger and live together.

[Daniela1982]

If you are going to live together you don't need a ring to do so.

[BlueScorpio]

Sounds like she may be to busy for relationship at the moment.

[OlderAndWiser]

Is it a legitimate explanation or an excuse for her to avoid you?

[Guy13]

Follow her lead and don’t make it a job to deal with you or she will ghost you

[Avicenna]

It depends on your expectations. Some people are OK with that, some aren’t.

[Screenwriter]

It's clear that once or twice a week is ENOUGH FOR HER. You've only been with this person 6 months. And she has a weird schedule. It sounds to me like she's making time for you.

If you're dissatisfied, then it's time for a discussion. Maybe one week a month or twice a month, you could see each other three times a week for a special, extra date. Propose something like that, that could be doable. But, keep in mind, because of her schedule, the three-date week might occur seldom.

And also, keep in mind, this person simply might not have enough time available to satisfy YOU. You have to decide if it's worth it for you to remain in such an arrangement. Good luck.

[DaveJord]

It's clear once or twice is ENOUGH FOR HER! - wise words! 👍

[bayoubob]

That sounds like the opposite of what the norm is in my experience. Once or twice a week is something to behold. It does not allow for whirlwind bs that will 99% of the time end up in divorce. Take it slow, take it easy, take it sleazy even. Respect the real relationship for what it is. She still likes you after 6 months despite everything? She's not after your money, she's not a slut, etc. Then again, I see reverse psychology working out here, or maybe she is a slut, and she's seeing 2 or 3 other people at the same time.

[Anonymous]

That is plenty for a relationship if you make the most of it.

I spent 10 years as a freelancer, it is a high stress, high energy occupation and the only thing you are promised is eclectic, long hours and little real control over when you work. However, people in this line of work know how to make the most of their time, and that includes her time with you... You need to learn the same.

The healthiest relationship I've been in lasted a year and a half and he and I saw each other 2 weekends every month... Two very amazing weekends every month... And we spent more quality time together than most couples who live together

[Daniela1982]

Who is she seeing the rest of the week? Twice a week is not enough to sustain a relationship in my opinion. But then it is not I that has to deal with it either. I can only speak for myself. Sounds more like a schedule of a Friends with Benefits relationship to me.

[CubsterShura]

Uhh see her more?

Talk about it again. Yes, to her it may be enough but tell her that it is not enough for you and you want to see her more, talk about coming to a happy middle ground. If she is adamant about not making a change and simply wants to go by what she wants... You have decisions to make, do you want to stay in a relationship like that?

[CA4444]

What’s the point of being in a relationship with someone who wants to see you only once a week, what sort of love is that… I’d feel rejected and lonely… of course there can be good explanations and possible changes down the line, or if you still feel close to her despite not seeing her often

[Máiiréad]

For some people that is enough... everyone is different. If you feel that your needs are not being met and she feels otherwise, then that is something you need to seriously communicate with her.

If I didn't feel happy or felt like my needs were not being met in a relationship, I'd respectfully leave due to our differences.

[t_time]

My boyfriend is in the military. Sometimes he's gone for months with very little contact. We live together so that makes things a little more comforting. It really depends what works for you. If your not getting what you need from your partner after talking to them. Then maybe it's time to rethink the relationship

[oddwaffle]

Twice a week is enough if you can go for at least 4 hours. Mine is like 8 hours a day and another one 4 hours.

We all live busy lives. Sometimes you have to make it count.

Of course, getting married or move in together might do the trick.

[exitseven]

What if she lived 1500 miles away and you only saw her two or three times a year? What if she was a bartender and worked until midnight and you worked during the day? Things could be worse, If the both of you want to make this work you both have to try to make more time for the relationship. If one or both of you are unwilling than the relationship will fail.

[CallmeTheKnight]

Dude, you have a mouth. Speak on your concern and work on the both of you seeing each other more. When my now ex and I were together, if we wanted to see each other, we would make time for it. Either we'll plan out the days or we'll just see each other that same day. We made it happen because we wanted to and if someone wants to see you often, they will as long as they love your company.
Just speak up man

[loveslongnails]

At your age, and I'm guessing she's around the same, it's all about what you each want. Obviously, you want to see her more often, but she doesn't feel the need for that. That's a HUGE incompatibility you need to consider. Sounds like she loves her work and free time, and her time with you fits in where the rest of it isn't. You need to resolve this, if you can, in a way you can live with. There's no guarantee you can do that, however, and you should be aware of that.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the type of relationship. Maybe she is happy to treat you as an occasional luxury whereas you want an ongoing engagement.
You should talk with her about how she sees it, and what you both want.
If work is more important to her than you are, perhaps you should adjust you outlook.

[supercutebutt]

I dunno. Maybe make a replacement girlfriend out of Starburst fruit chews? Then kiss it?

https://www.youtube.com/embed/vQrDEYT9JwY

[pewter_moon]

It takes two people to make a relationship work. It can’t be all about her. What you feel matters just as much. She should take that into consideration.