If we didn't establish a timeframe, how long would guys keep us their childless girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

Let's we don't establish a specific timeframe (but rather expect you to realize we want a family one day) and never nag you at all, have so much patience, let you take all your sweet time, given that you aren't going to waste our entire fertile years... ok then.

If it was up to you as a man (I'm sure you about our physical biology too), how long would you keep us as your childless girlfriend? For many many years would you keep us into the ''Oh we're having a great time, I like how things are now, oh the great sex'' honeymoon period without any real commitment?

Or would you eventually want a family too even if the woman doesn't nag nor establish a specific timeframe?

Updates

1 y

It always seems that the woman has to establish a timeframe or else she can run into that situation of getting string along for years because he is apparently ignorant to our obviously physical biology or doesn't care.

[inhua]

firstly, men aren't mind-readers so you can't expect them to know everything going through your head.

secondly, if men push the issue it can be misinterpreted as needy.

thirdly, have you proven yourself to him you could be a good loving wife with maternal instincts? if he sees you (based of what you've shown to him) possibly filing for divorce many years down the road, he will keep you childless because he doesn't want to go through the headaches of divorce.

lastly, is he even in any position to start a family? if you chose him I would assume you believe he has fatherly instincts.

men whether young or old are attracted to younger women for this reason. they are well aware of the fertility window but the character traits she shows is more important as to whether she'll be a great mother or not.

yes there are men out there like Leonardo DiCaprio who would waste a woman's fertile years and use them for sex but by in large men are very receptive of a young woman with maternal instincts. they don't just throw those opportunities away.

[Asker]

If he doesn't trust her and thinks she's the type that would file for divorce down the road as you stated on #3 then he should break up instead of wasting both her and his time on that dead-end relationship. A relationship without trust that isn't going to progress is worthless. Maybe that girl doesn't fit his categories but is some other man's future wife. It's unfair for both.
I find it's not just the woman's fault for wasting time but the man plays a role on that too. For both of their sake, he should let her go.

[Asker]

Just to keep the girl for sex is selfish.

[inhua]

I don't disagree with what you said. I'm just explaining what goes through a man's mind when this happens.

[NamerOfStars]

Having children isn't "a commitment"; it's a major life-changing event that constitutes both and acknowledgement and a forfeiture of your place in the universe- if you can't give it the seriousness it deserves, you shouldn't do it. If you WANT that, admit it, and go for it- if not, don't. Lying about it- including using it as a tool of manipulation- indicates you do NOT have the maturity to do it right.

Marriage is also not a commitment, but it is definitely a sign of one; I'll give you that much. It is, however, a legal contract that, as things stand, no man in his right mind would agree to, especially when there are children involved.

Date honestly- if you want something, be upfront about it from the start. Duplicity doesn't serve anyone, and just waiting around for someone to change their mind is a sure recipe for disappointment. HE is not the one who "wastes your fertile years"- that's on you.

[Asker]

But doesn't the man also play a role in our fertile years getting waste? It can't be the woman 100% at fault... maybe 50% on her and 50% on the man. If the man himself knew he wouldn't ever marry her or is unsure or not ready about having kids with her, then instead of keeping her as a girlfriend whom he claims to love and continues getting sex from, isn't it better if he dumps her, let her go, let her find someone else that will commit?

[LazerBean]

It depends entirely on the man. When your standards are high, though, men can see it and most of the losers steer clear.

[Asker]

Yes indeed. My brother for instance is a decent man. He, himself doesn't like wasting a woman's years and has already proposed to his girlfriend. But it's sucks that many men try to justify taking all their sweet time and fail to understand we don't have all that time to have kids, they're selfish.

[LazerBean]

They understand, they just don't care. Which is why it's important to remember that like that need to be recognized and avoided.

[Berethor]

Great sex? heard the saying why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? if a girl don't want to get used then he should better wait until marriage, anyway I am 35, so I don't think that I should waste time on a fruitless relationship at that age, even though men technically can have children at any age, unlike women, but guys your age, 18-24, would likely not want to have children anytime soon. Yea you better establish a timeframe, myself I would never marry a woman that don't want children, children are the future.

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/why_buy_the_cow_when_you_can_get_the_milk_for_free

[Asker]

Yes it's like we have to establish a timeframe or else guys will take more time and that's bad for our fertile years. He can afford taking 10-15 years but we can't.
If you want to have kids, mention this early on when you get into a relationship. Make sure you guys have similar goals and a timeframe is established.

[Berethor]

'My biological clock is ticking' trope, you young and already aware of it, that's impressive.