Turns out my ex fiancé, who proposed to me lol, was using me as a placeholder til someone else came around. Does anyone else think that was toxic?

[Samscott456]

Do you think using someone as a placeholder especially to that extreme is toxic?

[Vesuvius87]

Using someone as a placeholder is horrible. Hopefully you've blocked him from your life. You've indeed dodge a bullet.

[Samscott456]

I did it still weighs on me a bit though😕 I know in the long run it’s for the better of course

[Vesuvius87]

I know how love deceptions can be. I've undergone that (he used me for both sex and money; never wanted to marry me) and yes it hurts but I'm moving on. I'm now in a healthy relationship. You'll recover soon.

[Samscott456]

Thanks that gives me hope🙂

[Twalli]

To propose to someone who you see as a placeholder is messed up. Now if he originally saw you as such but changed his mind, that's different.

[Samscott456]

It was always a lot of hot and cold behavior with him. If he saw me pulling away or he would be leaving he would love bomb. He proposed when he was about to be deployed lol. It was a very confusing relationship. We did everything a normal couple thinking seriously would do, such as living together and then engagement. But at the end the way he actually felt came out and it was that he didn’t even love me at the time of the proposal and fell out of love he claimed a while back. He had no prob saying love you daily though til what I like to call the discard. It wasn’t a normal breakup by no means. It was done suddenly and quickly with little to no empathy for how I felt.

[jshm2]

No. That was a good tactic by him, but a bad partner choice by you.

You both were idiots

[Samscott456]

I agree lol. I will say though he hid everything very well said the love yous daily all that stuff.

[HateyouxD]

How do you know you were a place holder and not the relationship just ending because it was over

[Samscott456]

Why propose then lol

[dreamstar72]

I believe it’s mean and cruel to use women/men as a backup plan.

[KrakenAttackin]

That's called "hypergamy" and it was pioneered by women.

[Samscott456]

Huh? Lol

[Anonymous]

if he did this karma will bite him soon like a cancer or smth don’t worry
God sees everything

[Mangospacho]

It’s toxic but it happens a lot more than people realize.

[BJP21]

Thats a pretty low blow.

[Anonymous]

Yes, that's very toxic and glad you found out.

[Anonymous]

how do you know?

[Samscott456]

I mean it’s pretty clear lol

[jimmy2]

He an ass wole