How can you tell the difference between love and romantic love?

[Juicyred921]

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 years. We talked about getting married. We’ve been living together for over a year. I tell him how crazy I am about him and how much I love him and how amazing he is. He doesn’t really show it but says he feels the same way.

I know he going through a really though time right now in his life. I’m always there for him, super supportive. But our relationship kinda just feels like a friendship now. Hardly any sex. No intimately (even though he’s always had a problem with that). I don’t feel like I’m his girlfriend.

He’s been doing a lot of reflecting and soul searching. Feels guilty and angry about his past. So now all we do is talk ( he talks) about it. He talks a lot about his exs. Don’t think there’s been a day he hasn’t brought them up. He says he doesn’t compare me. But he mentioned how beautiful, strong, successful they are. All the things I’m not. He says I’m ok. Pretty. My looks don’t matter. Guess he likes my personality. But I feel like his therapist.

how do I know if he loves me like a best friend or actually loves me romantically?

[loveslongnails]

I saw your comment about your body. As far as I know, that's something you can change so you don't hate how you look, so why aren't you?

I'm not a therapist, but my gut response is that you and he are co-dependently insecure about a lot of things. Him about his past, you about your present and future including your own appearance, and him about being with you. The two of you don't seem like a good match at all, and it sure doesn't sound, look, or "taste" like real love, in my opinion. It actually sounds harmful to the both of you.

You also need to realize that he, nor anyone, can "make you feel BETTER about yourself" until you at least feel GOOD about yourself. Everything I read sounds like you've convinced yourself that given who you are, this is all you deserve. You really need to fix that before you do anything else - anything at all.

[Juicyred921]

I can’t actually fix my body. There’s nothing I can do.

[loveslongnails]

That's probably not true.

[Kaneki05]

I would highly suggest to not marry this guy. He said you were okay? And you have doubts about your looks because of him not showing you are attractive? He talks about his ex's everyday?
Bad signs.
At the end of the day he's the one with problems not you. Find someone else who appreciates you more.

[Juicyred921]

My doubts about my looks aren’t from him. There from the mirror. Lol. I know what I look like. I’m not a good looking woman. My face isn’t the worst thing out there but my body is horrifying. Probably why we only do doggy style sex or blow jobs.

[Kaneki05]

If someone loved you they would reassure those thoughts are wrong and make you feel much better about yourself than what your mind believes. And of course would have a lust for you.

[Juicyred921]

I’m sure it’s hard to have lust for someone like me. I don’t blame him for that. And his exs really messed him up.

[Kaneki05]

Welp you can stay in self doubt and with that guy for the rest of life always think wow his ex's are to blame, and I am ugly. Or you can find someone else who finds you hot and you don't have to make excuses for. It's always up to you.

[Juicyred921]

Your right. I need to let him go. He honestly deserves someone so much better. He’s an awesome person. He never called me ugly or said anything negative about my looks. He called me beautiful once. But I’ll never hold a candle to the girls he’s used to. And he’s not gonna lie to me and say I’m hot or anything. Cause trust me. I’m very very far from it. But honestly, after him, I’m done trying to find someone. I’m getting too old for the games and lies guy do. I’m ok being alone.

[Kaneki05]

Been alone and insecure is also a choice, a dumb one but a choice. Good luck with that.

[Juicyred921]

I don’t see what’s wrong with being honest. I’m not sitting here trying to pretend I’m something I’m not. I’m not insecure. I love my personality, I’m a good person, I love making people laugh. My insides are definitely beautiful, unfortunately it’s the outside that people see. You don’t buy a box of chocolates cause you can see inside the box, you buy it for the pretty packaging. And. Being alone isn’t dumb. It’s me choosing not to be hurt or used or manipulated. Self preservation.

[Kaneki05]

I don't need to hear you excuses, it's a dumb choice but I ain't gonna argue about it. So like I said good luck with that.

[lightbulb27]

well, he'd have some desire for you, his thingie will work.

If he's stuck in emotional past, then yea, it's going to mess up current relationship. His heart is confused. If he's looking at their social media and memories, it's worse. gotta block/cutoff.

The solution out of that is to see the good and value he has in you, recognize the issues in the other girls and himself that lead to problems, and grow from that.

Is the issue maybe you all can't have kids and maybe he thinks he could have with them... so regrets? you are still young enough to have kids, if that's the issue, but getting late. It's big life choices...

That's hard, he has to decide he wants you, all of you.

[Makeushiver]

Romantic love- I believe- is similar to infatuation. It didn't even exist until the crusades when there were so many aristocrats in the south of france hitting on each other. Prior to that there is no culture that recognized or mentioned romantic love. Lust, yes; respect, yes; I think the word love has been misused so much that it no longer has any meaning obectively. I love pizza but I've been wit women who I preferred to pizza

[-Mad-]

After looking into your other posts, you seem to be in miserable relationship and you’re obviously not happy.

All I’m seeing is you trying build something but he has no real intentions to do so.

you should start thinking about yourself.

Someday you’re going to look back at this and realize how much you wasted your time and energy on this.

[misogynistic_pig]

Romantic love is love derived from sexual attraction.

[Juicyred921]

That’s the thing. I’m not entirely sure he’s sexually attracted to me.

[Sparkie460]

I think he loves you but he's not " in love with you ". He has to put his past and his exes behind him.

[Juicyred921]

So should I call it off? Tell him we’re just friends? It’ll suck and hurt like hell for me. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love him. But he deserves someone better. And I need to learn to be ok with being alone.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Romantic love is just platonic love with sexual attracted added to it.

[TheSpaceGnome]

attraction*

[Guardian45]

When he stops talking about his Exes. And talks about you and him only. You have a problem; nip it in the bud, before it becomes an elephant!

[Guy13]

I can't !!

[Haha456]

You dont seem too bright

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆 he must be pretty hot.

[Juicyred921]

I find him very attractive. Yes. Lol

[Opinion Owner]

Well that's how you tell the difference. You tolerate this s*** if they hot enough. 😆😆😆

[Bklynbadboy12]

Well is different for guy what's his love language