Do you know you can fall in love but never really love them?

[Liliesxoxo]

You can fall in love but never really love the person. Instead you fool yourself into believing that's real love but it isn't. It's deep attachment and in some cases obsession.

How many people think having an intense attraction, intense passion and fantasizing every day about a happily ever after story with their partner is loving them? They're infatuated but might not really love them once they realize the person's flaws and the hard work it takes a relationship to work, besides just thinking about them and the fun times every day.

[caring__1]

People often fall in love with the concept of love. Love can be blind. We see what we want to see rather than what actually exists. This leads to a lot of pain when we finally do see reality. People just want to be in love and may choose what is convenient (or fun for the moment) rather than truly view the whole package and determine compatibility.

This is what draws people to long-distance relationships. It's easy to focus on what we want to see with long-distance relationships, as we're not confronted with the day-to-day reality of the other person. No matter how well we believe we know the person, when they actually move in with us, we generally see a side of them we didn't previously see, as no one can keep their act together 24/7. We can't be on our best behavior forever.

[Liliesxoxo]

Well said indeed. In order to really love, you have to see all their flaws and accept them, decide if you're compatible and actually work together through the hard times, be willing to be there on the rainy days. If all you want is the happy moments, sunny days and nothing else but fantasize about holding hands and the wonderful sex, love declarations but don't know them well, that's a fantasy.

[Liliesxoxo]

A fantasy isn't love.

[caring__1]

What you said is true, though people seem more interested in focusing on collections of momentary snapshots than patterns over time. Without seeing the whole picture, we're just living in our head. It's unfortunate that people choose to impulsively jump into relationships (just to be in them) before they actually get to know the other person. The quicker we jump in, the more likely we choose to just live in our head. That's the only reality we're willing to see, fearful we'll lose what we believe we need if we open our eyes.

[Alex8736]

nobody ever said it was easy. An example of people looking at someone's relationship thinking it is so perfect is Gabby Petito who traveled cross country with the love of her life but things aren't always what they seem especially how everything ended

[Guy13]

Nope because I am all or nothing.

[Habshater22]

Been doing it for a long time now

[eagle1951]

yeah