I posted a cute picture of me. My ex then posts him and his new date and says how good looking she is. Is he conpeting?

[Anonymous]

I only ask this because since we broke up (on good terms) we agreed to be friends. He still pursued me somewhat but when I said I didn’t want to date anyone right now he stopped as much communication and started posting pictures of him with this new woman (that’s all he ever posts too, like he has something to prove).

I hope he’s happy as I still care for him but he still had issues from his last relationship and it took its toll on us.

I thought we could genuinely remain friends in time, but now I’m starting to wonder whether he’s just trying to hurt me. I’ve already been through the heart break so it doesn’t affect me that much anymore, but if this is his goal maybe I need to give us some more space from each other.

What do you guys think?

[Beatrix7]

well if u only sent a picture of yourself then thats cool but if he is doing it with his new date it seems he's tryimg to make you jelous u only put one of u on he's posting him with his new girlfriend wich means to me is he's trying to make you jealous 2 because he's tryimg to flash her to compeat with you like he's thinking see how lovley she is he's trying to get to u dont let him hunni

[Asker]

Thanks hun. It’s kinda what I thought too but I don’t like to assume the worst in people because I have no interest in doing that back so thought maybe he is just genuinely happy because that’s why I’d do it (bit saying that I don’t feel the need to brag as much as hun either).

[Beatrix7]

that ok hunni just take care of yourself i know how you feel you belong to yourself love yourself sweety you will be ok you can pm to talk i like to help not to hurt u sound like a nice person

[designer1]

I would assume no. I wouldn’t worry about it since he’s not your problem anymore (not in a mean way). Concerning yourself with his intentions won’t do anything but cause you unnecessary confusion. If you think that his posts will keep resulting in this train of thought, I would personally unfollow him. Hope this helps!

[designer1]

Yeah I just read the remaining description. I absolutely think you should unfollow him. It doesn’t mean u hate him but from what it sounds like you need space to fully heal and seeing his posts isn’t letting u get that space.

[Asker]

I’ve already muted so I don’t see any now. Don’t need to unfollow at this point. I agreed to stay friends so until that becomes impossible I’m still open to that in time.

[Asker]

Why do you assume no…

[Asker]

I don’t concern myself unnecessarily, I’m good until his actions have a bit of an effect on me, because you know, I’m human. If you’ve had a serious relationship you’ll understand this. You don’t just turn feelings off unless you never had them. They just reduce over time.

[designer1]

I get that but friendship is supposed to be beneficial to both parties. If you feel like you can’t realistically be friends with him without damaging your emotional health than u have the right to change your mind. You obviously still care about him and that’s ok but there’s nothing wrong with distancing urself from him until you fully get over him. If you stay friends you may not be giving urself the chance to do that. It is good that you muted him tho. I do fear that by staying friends u are secretly hoping that he will someday resume a relationship with u. If you are harboring this thought somewhere deep in your mind it is going to be extremely difficult to come to terms with the breakup in the long run.

[designer1]

Woah sorry if I came off offensive. That was not at all my intention. I am not saying your feelings are not valid. I am saying that u can not control what he does on his social media but u can control what you do. If you unfollow him, you are taking your emotional focus away from him and onto other things. Breakups are easier handled when you can distract yourself from the breakup but with remaining friends right after, this can’t happen. I have been in a serious relationship ship that left me shattered. I was hurt for years but one thing that really helped me was that eventually he was out of my life and I had no more reminders of the relationship.

[Asker]

I have distanced myself from him, I’m already ahead there. No I’m past wanting that. He did want to meet up and date again hit told him I couldn’t. I’d like a friendship of sorts because we were friends and he was a part of my life, I felt in a place to be mature like that, but the way he’s acting is starting to make me think maybe neither of us can just yet. I’m okay with knowing he’s dating someone else, I just don’t want the competition if that’s what’s going on because that’ll just ruin anything good we had. Does that make sense?

[Asker]

You don’t need to apologise or justify yourself, I’m not attacking you either, just explaining the situation. I just get a little annoyed because I see a lot of bad advice out there today encouraging people to just switch off emotions and I really don’t think that’s the reality or way about it. I think you just have to go through it to really deal with it. I’ve done what I need to do to avoid seeing his updates, that’s done so is not an issue. He still watches all of my updates though and seems to respond to them. He posts things knowing I’ll like it etc even if it’s not his sort of thing.

[designer1]

Yes, this makes sense. Well I think right now you have done a good thing by muting his posts. If he is competing, that’s unfortunate but you can’t control that. Maybe he needs some time to get over the relationship as well. It is good that you also distanced from him. Maybe you both can be better friends later on after u both heal fully. Hopefully u can spend more time with your other friends in the mean time and lean on them in order to distract urself from this?

[Asker]

Yeah that’s the plan as I don’t want it to end bitterly, but that takes two, I’m just doing my part. Yeah my friends have been really good about it. It’s just good to vent to completely neutral strangers at times too.

[designer1]

True yeah it’ll just take time. Good I’m glad to hear that you have a good support system! And yeah I feel that. This app has gotten me through a lot lol

[Asker]

Ahh that’s good. Thanks for your input.

[designer1]

Of course! Hope it all works out!

[Guy13]

It sounds like same Games. Yes, you two are trying to out do one another again.

[Asker]

I’m not as much as him, I’m just trying to live my life and just trying to keep and even keel. I feel like I’m being roped into it though so I may just start hiding my stories from him tbh. from now on as when I’m happy he seems to feel the need to try and maybe have a dog.

[Asker]

*dig

[Asker]

Why is he feeling the need to compete if he’s happy? All I can put it down to is either he misses me or it’s narcissism. But surely if you miss someone you don’t keep flaunting a new partner, I mean that’s only going to push them away not want to make them come back right?

[lottiebannotie]

I think you are reading to much into it to be honest I mean why can't he post a picture with his new partner on his social media I presume you aren't the only person on his friendlist

[Asker]

You’re assuming my that’s all there is to it, otherwise I’d completely agree. That’s what I thought it was at first. But all he ever posts is them as a couple, and it seems to be in response to what I post.

[itsalyssaagain]

It seems like he is.