Have you ever loved someone who never loved you back? How did you get over them?

[Pinay_ako]

[BullShark]

I got into my first ever romantic relationship at the age of 15 which lasted for five years. For the first two years or so, I always thought we were both deeply in love with one another. To me, she was perfect and everything I could ever ask for. I wasn't a social person as a teenager and was a pretty reserved introvert who didn't have many close friends either, so she was my whole world at the time. Little did I know that the same wasn't the case for her.

I won't get into the nitty gritty of it, but long story short, an introvert guy and an extrovert girl are a match made in hell. Plain and simple. Most of the arguments we'd have was when she'd cancel out on her plans to go hang out with her friends instead, plans we had been working on for weeks or maybe months, just so she could hang out with some other boys from her class instead (I was two years senior than her). I later found out that she was boning one of the guys whom she claimed was "a good friend" and had a crush on him for a while.

I was torn to shreds from the realization but I was still hopelessly in love with her and she would tell me she still loved me more than any other guy, so I would give in every single time, until I had had enough by the end of our fifth year when she came out and told me she never loved me and was simply using me because she was bored and that it's my fault that I caught feelings for her and I should have respected her "free spirit".

For the next three years, I was distraught for the most part and at one point, I had completely lost all faith in love being a thing, and women being absolute scumbags who were out to screw you over. I was on the verge of giving into the blackpill movement, but I had a few good friends of mine who were always there to bring me back to the light. Now, I'm in a relationship of my own after a long ass break from it all, and although I admit things may not be perfect, but at least I'm happy with who I have at the moment, and I'm thankful for how the heartbreak changed me into the person I am now, for better or for worse.

[Pinay_ako]

That’s all that matters. We come back stronger

[Michael09]

If you love something set it free, if it comes back to you it is yours
If it doesn't it never was

[Orion76]

I did, and she did at first at least but not anymore. How did I get over her? 3 years now and the truth is I haven’t and if the universe gave me another chance I’ll do it all over again.

[Orion76]

Thank you for Mho

[Smartgirl_hey]

I don't love someone who doesn't love me back but I can suggest you how you could forget someone when they don't love you. Understand your worth and understand that he doesn't deserve your love since he don't love you. People say love should be unconditional but I don't agree with the saying everytime. Sometimes there needs to be conditions in love which will only save you from heartbreak. Understand the fact that you only choose to love someone if they love you or love you back. Love is all about give and get. If it always goes as giving, one day you'll be running out of energy and become an empty cup. You can't pour from an empty cup. Even the cup that pours into other cups need to be poured by another cup so that it doesn't become empty. Why not choose to pour only into the cups that actually pour you? This mean that only love those who loves you or loves you back. This is right way to love someone without becoming yourself empty at the end. When you pour into a cup, that cup should be able to pour you back. Every other cup that can't pour back to you, stay away from those cups. It means stay away from those who choose not to love you back. If you love someone that doesn't love you, you will get hurt, you will feel bad, you will feel unworthy, you will feel not to love anyone else again, you will start trusting people less, you will get distracted from the world and get obsessed with them. Is that all you want? Make a right choice to save yourself from irreversible heartbreak

[Anonymous]

Three years i was in one sided love that person showed me mixed signals and dating multiple women. I waited for his answer three years when i got complete broke i left him with his mind games and he married someone else. It took me years to overcome this pain.

[mT2359]

Poor thing

[gag36627]

I might experience this too.

[Opinion Owner]

@gag36627 but what can we do, might be it was destined to be that way.

[gag36627]

Emma can you answer my question

[gag36627]

Oh well, you are at level one too. So I can't contact you

[Opinion Owner]

@gag36627 yes u can't contact. But u can follow me and i will follow u then we can exchange text

[gag36627]

I did follow you. Still, it needs one person to be at level 2

[Smartgirl_hey]

@emmakhan we can prevent ourselves from being a victim of those unfortunate situations but some will learn it in a hard way when they couldn't be able to understand by the other person's inconsistency. Inconsistency is the most important fact that he's not into you or he's the guy who might cheat on you at anytime. You need to avoid inconsistent guys and love only consistent guys who'll never break your heart

[Opinion Owner]

@Smartgirl_hey i am learning my lessons.

[gag36627]

@emmakhan it was me who asked you to text on that anon question. ( Also on this question earlier) You are at level 2. You can text now.

I had a feeling you forgot it was me there. Also don't mention that question here... I must keep my privacy.

[Opinion Owner]

@gag36627 ok

[gag36627]

@emmakhan This is the first time we met. God, what's happening lol

[Opinion Owner]

@gag36627 🙂

[gag37627]

@emmakhan why are you like this? If you are emotional you should be able to understand others. If I didn't want you to understand me or me to understand you, I don't have to tell you what I don't like. Try to communicate first before come to any conclusion. Just like the way I found out you have short-term memory issues. Otherwise I would think you are intentionally pretended as you forgot. Also the time when I asked about the links. I didn't go to the conclusion that you didn't open them, I questioned why you couldn't open them. Text me if you understand me and what I meant.

[Opinion Owner]

@gag37627 i was hurt by your reply, u say girls like toxic and one more word u said that was disrespectful.

[gag37627]

Yes, I know I made mistake by explicitly saying it out of anger. I am sorry for that, because I already knew you are sensitive.

You know those kinds of things triggers me I have told that to you. when was I so happy talking with i said bye nicely... with respect. you sent a message that reminded me of my past... that is how they talked to me.

Anyway I wanted to talk to you because I knew I made mistake. And now I don't have that want me anymore. So, good luck in your future, and thank you you were trying to help me with my issues. Also what I said earlier l, I truly meant it, you must seek some help for your own good. I didn't say that because I am angry with you.

[gag37627]

Bye, and please don't reply to these. I am not interested in you.

[OlderAndWiser]

Yes, I have, and I wrote about it six years ago.

Two Days Ago, I Closed A Chapter In My Life

[coachTanthony]

I think we have all been there in one form or the other. You just have to realize that every minute you spend loving them you waste time on finding someone who will love you back.

[ObscuredBeyond]

The problem isn't those that feel nothing, and reflect that from day 1.

The problem is those who fake it, virtue signal at every opportunity, but in the end, clearly want something. And the second they can't get it, they start acting entitled.

That's when I knew several women who approached me like a friend in the beginning were liars. They either ask me to accept a belief that I can't defend, and I stand up for my principles, or they want me to perform some feat for them requiring some very specific skill that I don't have.

"Sorry, I can't do that, and here's why..."

I reach out with olive branches, but she only gets angrier. Her mannerisms revert to those of a bratty 8-year-old throwing a tantrum. She tries to gaslight everyone in the room as if they were the victim of something horrible, while I'm standing there confused, betrayed, hurt, and starting to grow paranoid at her escalating irrationality.

In the past, I wanted to prove I could be better, could forgive, etc. But then I realized some of these women were seriously mentally ill, or straight up evil, and the only solution is to get away. Because she's not going to get any better.

Scott Adams had a point about a larger portion of the population than he intended to address: "Just get away from them. There's no fixing this."

Alas, my neocortex is thirsty for intellectual stimulation from a partner, and I don't seem to know where to find a woman who can offer that in my area. Not without getting fleeced by dating sites flooded with bots trying to steal even more money I don't have!

The monkeybrained women are a solid 13 / 10 on the crazy scale of the hot-crazy matrix. And most of the rest are effectively lizards.

So I retreat into my work. Interacting with machines. With (usually) rational, (usually) predicable outcomes. Soulless, but usually safe.

Because I'm afraid if I get too close to anyone modern in my area, they'll only damage me further, until I end up needing a shrink too.

As the old saying goes: the fact that Heaven has a stairway and Hell a highway says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.

[Lynx122]

Yes that was all I've ever known for 32 years. Because I'm autistic I develop slower in some areas and social things are the most difficult and dating even more difficult to understand the dynamics and what women want. In normal communication a lot is unsaid but you can still kind of follow along but in dating the unsaid part goes up to like 99% and I was just naive and childlike so I just got used over and over and over again. The best part was getting preached to about privilege and how I was oppressing other people at the same time that really earned a lot of sympathy points. It hurt a lot and I would try to change something and avoid the same mistake but it didn't work my brain just couldn't get it. At least over time I got less invested so it didn't hurt as much anymore, although the more sceptical I got women would try extra hard to be cute and nice and drop hints to make me doubt my own doubts.

But now the part of me that's lagging behind is growing up as well and I feel good. Before my mind couldn't handle dealing with life all day every day I would put out the worst most urgent fires and then I'd escape into a story, day dreaming or sleeping. Now it has changed I can stay focused on my life all day and I've also found a good occupation that gives me enough structure but doesn't tire me out so much that I can't do anything with the rest of the day. I also think Im getting it more with relationships. I have found someone that loves me and that I trust. It's the first time that I would rely on someone who isn't family or it's their job to support me. Most NT people don't understand me, even if they're nice, so I always preferred to do things on my own.

I think I am still at the start of this journey. I am really happy with my current situation and my growth. I want to continue on this path.

[melanieeeB]

Love? No.

Liking? Yeah, I have liked one person who didn't wanted me back, I really wanted it to work but he didn't.
We talked it out, he was so sweet and really took his time and yeah end of story. There is no reason to go after someone who clearly doesn't want anything from you. Sure it hurt a little but it was okay cause I was really lucky that he was so respectful and took his time.

And with everyone who ghosted me, were i just had an interest but not even liking them yet, it never bothered me. I find it more funny and thing to myself "well at least I shoot my shot"

[lightbulb27]

Yes, you mean unrequitted love?

Others tried to love me and I push them away... all through life various times. Like I wasn't ok with intimacy, so I think I've been on both sides.

I found learning the lessons about myself and the other person, seeing the deeper emotional flaws, helps to get to a better perspective. But it's hard to get past, if you can process the feelings and put into perspective that... it wasn't so great, waste, etc.. then get to better feelings.

Love, some element of it, is in the sub conscious mind... what you learned as child as to what love is. So find out how the person relates to your childhood... that helps break the bonds. In reality, it was probably... a lot of fantasy. Seeing it was fantasy, helps get your power back to reality.

[Fabiloso]

I've only been attracted to women who were attracted to me. at least at one point, I'm sure if I'd ever really tried to date them it'd worked out. But alas I just went my own way most the time. People's stories of relationships ruining their lives and hook-ups turning even the sane girls insane. I just have rather not. There has been a few moments where the girl I was gonna put all my effort towards was asked to a dance or something by someone else or they were graduating so I'd never see them again. I've had to let go plenty of times. In the end I've typically always been glad I did

[RavVid]

It happens but I don't know that it gets past infatuation and desire. It may seem odd but the other person has to give you permission to love them. Not in sense of saying you can love me or sliding a contract across the table but none the less there is a permission aspect. That even goes for friends. I think the dynamic is that if you give someone love there is an obligation on the other person and they tend to reject it.

I don't think it gets past having a soft spot for the other person if love isn't returned.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

I genuinely feel love in my heart for everyone. Don't get me wrong, it hurts to be rejected by someone you thought was going to feel the same way. But I don't think it lasts as long for me as it does for other people, even though I've had a couple bad breakups.

[XHopelessRomanticX]

Absolutely, and I still love him. But if I truly love him, I would want the best for him even if that means I am not what is best. And letting go means I need to be open to loving others.

One thing that has been helping me with letting go is allowing myself to grieve. I grieve the things that never were and the things that will never be. I think that’s what unrequited love is, a form of grief.

[Batsy01010101]

i read that in a book once she recommended

[Sevenpointfive]

it probably happens to most people at least once in their lifetime.

I usually play the bonnie raitt song and cry it out knowing there's nothing i can do

https://www.youtube.com/embed/nW9Cu6GYqxo

[exitseven]

That was a really pithy quote you included. Yes I have done this. I was rejected in the cruellest of ways. In some respects I never got over it.

[Pinay_ako]

Sorry to hear that

[mattclark242]

well It took a long time and I drink and play loud music. maybe do a burn out. yell at my self in my head a lot. I found a new girl to thank about and try do stuff with but she also dose not like me so I am just waiting to I like a girl who like me back. I read articles online about unrequited love. Some time I pick fight with people. I hurt my self but in my mine trying to replay what she dose and what I did wrong in my head.

please do not hurt your self in real life.

also what it like to have some one who you like and they like you back?

I had someone pretend to love me. also I over look some girls that may have love me.

[Fireguy17]

I can't say I have been in that exact situation, but I have had crushes, been totally enamored with someone and it just never ended up going anywhere for whatever reason.
I move on, but that doesn't mean I don't think about them from time to time, like wondering what could have been.

[ChiTown33]

Well the good news is if they never loved me back it was probably pretty easy to get over them. As I've gotten older I've learned to not waste time on people who make no time for me. People throw around the word "love" a lot to try to describe irrational feelings that are closer to obsession, not love. Love is kind, love is caring, love is understanding. Possessive isn't love.

[Still-alive]

Dunno about love but definitely infatuated. Unrequited feelings has been the story of my love life just about until I figured out ‘oh hey maybe we should focus on girls who actually are interested’ lol what a novel concept. So im now on the look out for that. If im not feeling they are interested or flat out tell me i move on now. Time is precious

[Still-alive]

Oh and how I usually get over them is just cutting contact for awhile usually until i find someone else im into. Tends to be how it works for me.

[Sorrento-Sun]

Yes and it's very painful. He started slowing distancing himself. It may not have been as hurtful if he'd been open and honest. But blowing hot and cold then slowly leaving my life was unbearable.

[JustinTheGreat]

I mean I’ve definitely liked someone who didn’t feel as strongly before.

but I don’t think i could ever get to the point of “loving” someone if I’m not receiving the same energy back.

[TaureanBull81]

Hey there @Pinay_ako, I've been in this situation like yourself in the past. I got over her by having sex with another woman and took a pic 📸 + short video 📹 upclose of our smooth bits enjoying one another's cumpany 🤣

[TaureanBull81]

Thanks for the upvote 😊

[dragoblack]

Yep, my childhood crush who ended up fucking my brother. I just distracted myself until she was an after thought

[Pinay_ako]

Ouch