My long distance boyfriend wants to video chat every single day. Is it wrong if sometimes I say no?

[Anonymous]

Hi. My boyfriend and I have been together 5 months now.

We live in different countries. We haven't seen each other in person. But we are very close and talk everyday. Sometimes for hours. We sometimes sleep on the phone.

We want to get married one day. Maybe in a few years. Anyway I'm rambling.

Sometimes he asks if he can see me. We have video chat before. But lately it feels like every single day.

I was sick yesterday and today well I have bed hair. I don't feel like fixing myself up. He says he doesn't care. But I do. I'm tired of video chatting in my bed while I look crazy. Sometimes I wanna take a shower put on something nice.

In real life when ur dating and a guy wanna see you. You have a few hours to get ready smell nice feel soft before u go out.

I love him and I tell him. But I can't say yes every single time. But he just start begging. Then he be like "you love to hear me beg why do u make me beg"

And im like maybe it won't feel like begging if u accept no the first time. He backs off. But u can tell he's a little frustrated. Not toward me. But like when we play video games he's a little annoyed at the games. Like he's on edge.

Ik the long distance can be hard. It's hard for me too. I do admit I have my own things like wanting to be with him and hold him but can't.

I just want to say no without feelin guilty. It's not no never. It's just no not right now. Maybe when I'm feeling better. When I'm in the mood. Am I selfish? If I do it wen I don't want to my heart won't be in it

[Anonymous]

It’s completely understandable that you may not always want to video chat with your long distance boyfriend every single day. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and to take care of yourself, even in a long distance relationship.

It's important to communicate openly and honestly with your boyfriend about your needs and boundaries in the relationship, and to make sure that you both have realistic expectations for each other's availability and communication. It's okay to say no sometimes, and it's important to be clear and direct with your partner about your feelings and needs.

When you do say no, it may be helpful to offer an alternative time or activity that you can do together, such as texting, voice messaging, or scheduling a video chat for a later time when you are feeling more prepared. Remember, it's important to prioritize your own well-being and to communicate openly and respectfully with your partner as you work towards building a healthy and fulfilling relationship together.

[Drdeeznuts1132]

No, it's perfectly okay. You need to take care of yourself. He's alittle too attatched it sounds like. Make sure you communicate what you want with him.

[Asker]

Thank you for explaining he actually called to apologize for being so persistent and he said he acknowledges no means no and will stop. Then later on he got carried away and asked to see me again then he stopped himself and apologized so I feel so relieved he's respecting me !!! I'm happy 😊

[Drdeeznuts1132]

👍 nice

[coachTanthony]

Twice a week is enough. lol

[Asker]

Thank you so much okay ill get ready 2x a week for him 🥺

[Kyr0s]

When you usually do video calls, are there sexual aspects involved often or is it casual call?

[Asker]

No it isn't sexual. Maybe once in the 5 months we did some teasing but it was over clothes not to be corny but we both Christian and we waiting for marriage. But 99.9% of the time we just talk and hang out

[Kyr0s]

Hmm. Well you can communicate with him and be real that it can't happen every day and it's not because you don't like him.