To message the one that got away?

[Anonymous]

I had this good guy friend for years. We met through my job, I was a bar-tender and him and his buddies used to drink in the bar every weekend. We both had the same sense of humour and hit it off immediately - let's call him Jim.

Jim was good-looking, but made it clear from the start he had a crush on of the other girls who worked the bar and I was into one of his buddies.

But as friends we hit it off MAJORLY. Same sense of humour, loved same shows and same vibe/personality. He was one of the nicest and most fun guys I've ever met.

We could laugh together for hours. We could be ourselves around each other. I never felt any pressure to be anything apart from myself with him.

Him and the other bar-tender and me and his buddy never worked out, but me and Jim remained friends.

We used to hang in the group and sometimes even just me and him.

One night we were in a group setting in a bar and Jim was sitting next to me, when some guy approached and started talking to me. He was cute and charming and asked for my number, I was a bit tipsy and so I gave him my number.

At this point, Jim suddenly got up, aggrieved, threw his drink over the guy and stomped angrily out of the bar, not to return that night.

I've had issues in recognising if guys are into me before. It's partially some self-esteem issues, I always assume they aren't (even when others have told me that they are). And I never put myself out there unless the guy is clear that he wants me, for fear of rejection, but this has caused me to miss opportunities.

I spoke to Jim about it and he apologised. He said he was just drunk and felt the guy was being very rude to me/overly pushy towards me, so he lashed out, and then left out of embarrassment because he knew he had been out of line throwing the drink.

Fast forward a couple of years, we were still hanging out, and one night he made some flirty comments about finding me hot that made me question again if Jim was into me...

PART 1 / 3

Updates

1 y

I got a serious illness a short while after. Jim saw me less and less, and at the time, I thought he didn't want to deal with someone who was ill. He seemed distant, detached. I chalked it down to immaturity and not wanting to deal with my illness. But now I believe it was because I hadn't reacted to his flirty comments and so he was pulling away. I ended up in a relationship with someone else, who was very direct with their feelings, the opposite, declaring their love for me quickly... 2/3

Updates

1 y

The relationship was blissful to begin with, but turned abusive and due to my illness, I was trapped in it for ages. I thought about Jim a lot. I realise now he was dropping hints that he liked me that I didn't pick up on, and his detachment was probably not due to my illness, but to his perception that I wasn't into him. I've finally managed to get out of the bad relationship and looked Jim up on SM. It seems now he is in a relationship, but I feel I may regret it forever if I don't contact him

[Static_In_The_Attic]

In life if you never try you will never know & if you like someone don’t be afraid to let them know. Love is blind as they say & love works in mysterious way as well.

Jim isn’t the one that GOT AWAY, he’s the one YOU LET GO.

Go Get Him Back!

[Anonymous]

Sounds like now or never. You're a bit old to be playing these games so text him, sound him out and if he's blissfully committed, find someone else - you had your chance

[strateguy632]

if you have his number text a reminder about your most recent meeting and about ten minutes later try phoning to talk. go for this one as u described.

[Anonymous]

Yeeeears? And he’s still just hardly flirting?

[In_Trance]

This is dumb. Call him