Which woman is usually a happier one - a wife or a lover?

Question

I know men who have affairs and the things they do for their lovers is something any wife would dream about.

One man used to sneak out from his home to build a house to his lover, while the lover can travel, live a fancy life and do whatever she wants, the wife is staying home and waiting till her husband comes back home from the arms of his lover. The man wants to leave a wife but the lover doesn’t want the man to leave a wife and she feels sympathy to her and always sends him home even though sometimes he asks if he can stay a bit more.

I guess, mostly it’s a lover, who gets the best of the man, gets all the benefits of having a male partner, without any chores of washing his socks or blah blah blah.

Then why do most women want to get married?

Updates

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What’s the benefit of having a husband for a woman, studies even show that married women live shorter than their single counterparts.

Having a relationship with my ex fiance gave me the biggest stress and heartbreak of my life. I feel like would be easier for me If I wasn’t that invested and nor did I have any expectations from him. I wouldn’t be hurt either.

I honestly think being lover is a better deal.

Effably · Accepted Answer

I don't think most, or even many, men entertain both at once. Most are faithful and so it won't normally be two people vs each other but positions.

As for those though. A lover is someone caught in the passionate throes. As draining as it may be rewarding. It is, very often, a situation where you both agree to share the best of you with someone else. While expecting them to do the same.

A wife, or husband, is different. That's your rock in life. Someone who shares not just the best moments with you but all moments.

So of course if we weigh the percentage of quality or good time spent together a lover wins. Yet, in nearly every culture, people have valued a spouse higher.

But I'd warrant the lover is happier with the situation itself. While not neccessarily being any happier with life, when comparing the two, for it. Cherry picking what to share doesn't make everything not shared go away.

OfMiceandMen · Accepted Answer

I think the scenario you paint is very rare.

I think most women-lovers want to kick the wife out to become the guys new SO/wife, instead. They often get attached to the guy and want the being a "lover" to become a permanent gig. They dream of having kids with the guy they are banging and want a life with him. If she is successful at booting the other women out of the nest, then the whole thing starts all over again with him out screwing some other chick on the side.

arodriguez664 · Accepted Answer

I think both women are being a sold a fantasy by the man in question. The wife assumes she has a happy stable marriage and the lover gets the "best" parts of the man which is usually just honeymoon stage BS. Neither really gets to see a comprehensive view of the man. Probably by design by him. I think the lover would be happiest depending on the personality type of the woman. If she is a person who craves deep meaningful connection then she wouldn't be happier. I'd argue the wife might be happier in that instance. Making generalizations about who is happier just makes me think of the adage "the grass is always greener". In these situations I don't feel like there is a true winner.

beautifulgirl192023 · Accepted Answer

well i feel that both a married and lover woman is happier but sometimes can be sad as well but it depends

jshm2 · Answer

The wife, as she has all the security, and none of the apprehension. A man can take or leave the lover until he loses interest. But he's got to give up a lot, to give up the wife.

Unit1 · Answer

" Married men are happier than single men. Single women are happier than married women ." - Women. And still they push for marriage. But to answer your question. I have no idea. But damn sure it is not good to be that wife.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

I would thnk the lover... in the case of both men and women. A spouse is someone who sees you at your best and worst; they have to put up with a bunch of shit.

A lover, on the other hand, gets to live in a fantasy. They only see the idealized parts of the other person. They rarely ever/never have to confront the ugly stuff.

NathanDavis · Answer

what about wives that have affairs?

Grond21 · Answer

Studies show that married women are happiest. A lover might have more excitement, temporarily. But she is not happier and she does not get the best of men.

YourExLover69 · Answer

You have a valid point. I agree with you. Lover has no burden of house chores but other than that I think both got equal benefits and most women want to settle in their lives with their lover/partner

loveslongnails · Answer

I think the lover is happier, so long as she doesn't want to become the wife! Affairs are all about fantasies. When you try to make them real, they fall apart.

Anonymous · Answer

If we talk about rights then wife... and thats pathetic how something wrong is shown as positive and what is actually right is being questioned

Guardian45 · Answer

The one who doesn't have to deal with a guy like that.

msc545 · Answer

I think you are right. It goes for men too.

Kelly6 · Answer

lover is always happier

shades777 · Answer

a lover is happier

Which woman is usually a happier one - a wife or a lover?

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Which woman is usually a happier one - a wife or a lover?

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