My boyfriend wants to pay my rent is this normal? He says he want to take care of me. Has anyone ever experienced this?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I been dating 6 months. We are on a long distance relationship.

He feels we have a great connection chemistry and told me today he thinks I can be a great mom and life partner.

He thinks I'm kind and someone who can care for the house while he's at work.

I've dated my entire life and no man has ever offered to pay my bill before. I told him it's ok I got me until he has me.

But my heart is racing not at the money part but like is this really happening is he serious or sincere

Are there any men who has done this before for a woman? If u have what were ur thoughts behind it? I'm not a gold digger I really am living well and caring for myself well.

He says he want to take care of me. Also he's younger than me so he's not a sugar daddy.

Should I tell him no? Does this hurt a mans feelings? At what point do u allow a man to take care of u?

I thought maybe when u get married so I always paid my own way in relationships before. If I say yes is this a trap? To test my integrity? My mind is racing I'm freaking out

[Anonymous]

Nothing to freak out about but I wouldn’t accept it. On the exterior it seems like a kind gesture but all I see is you indebting yourself to him for thousands and thousands of dollars. Money is power and caring for you financially will make him feel more in control over you. Being that you’re a sweet and kind woman, probably soft spoken and non-confrontational, you’re a sheep to a wolf. It would not be hard for him to gradually start plucking your freedoms away and sweet talking you all the way into another state/country (wherever he is), alienate you and make you solely reliant on him for your livelihood. It all starts small, like a Bill.

[Asker]

Thank you so much yes to negate all those fears I decided to decline and just be happy with the time and attention he gives to my thoughts and feelings 🫂 thank you for such good advice! I'll work hard to make sure I have my own money so I'm not totally reliant upon him. So I don't get hurt.

[Anonymous]

Shit can I have your boyfriend? Lol. I'm in a long distance relationship too but my boyfriend would never offer to pay my rent. Hell he probably wouldn't offer to pay my phone bill. I think it's really sweet that he offered but I would be like you and not accept because I have it.

[Asker]

I totally agree I would be too scared to accept it I am doing really well I really don't want for anything or need anything I completely relate to u a lot thank u for answering me

[lightbulb27]

not that I know of, don't know anyone who has.

I'm always on the lookout for guys that deceive in order to traffic women, it's a control thing. Whether that's the case, no idea, you know him better.

why not have him direct that towards spending time together/vacations. his method of love may be acts of service and such, so don't want to hurt him, but as well, put to a good use.

I hope works well for you!

[Asker]

That sounds very terrifying.

I have his aunt and mom's phone number and I've video chatted and spoken to them many times. He's shown me his entire neighborhood when he takes me for walks and showed me his mom's house and all his relatives. I'm also kind of cool with his friends he always want me to spend time with them but I don't enjoy spending time in a room full of guys 😅

I hope I don't get traffic that is very scary thought thank u for giving me a good warning to look out for

I decided to decline his offer but I do think saving for vacations would be fun! Thank you 🫂

[lightbulb27]

that all sounds ok, you know the family that helps a lot. I assume you've physically been with him.
yes it is terrifying, I've read about it and there was a girl from gag that is a slave.

[Asker]

No I have never met him in real life we met by accident online its a long story

[lightbulb27]

that I don't like to hear. it's not real until meet. It's fantasy.
p. s. I met my wife on gag, we msged, talked, met, etc.. normal LD.
Falling in love someone is stronger when never meet, because they are perfect in their mind. that's the problem... and fantasy maybe hurts more if never meet.

[Asker]

We were planning to meet in real life.

But I kept saying it is too soon. He has family in the city so he was going to come with his aunt and visit family and stay a few months. While we hang out

But I wasn't too sure where I wanted to live so he said wherever I wanna live let him kno he'll look for work there.

[lightbulb27]

sounds all good, but there is no reality to this as yet. I have seen guys find a women online, like philippines... go and meet family, get married and move together and worked as far as I know for years.
good luck, maybe it's real, have a bailout plan for when you find the real human, he should do the same.

[Summeroflove]

If that’s what he wants to do it’s sweet. You are too. I know you probably feel bad and don’t wanna put that pressure on him.


But I mean there’s always something you can do for him. You can pay for some dates or do some of his dishes or something like that.


Seems you found a great guy

[Asker]

Yes I felt so shocked and horrible like no im genuinely okay I don't need any money im doing very well I even pay my rent in advance so it's not like I'm in dire straights or anything

Thank you so much for answering I look forward to shopping for gifts for him and showing in my own way how much I appreciate the gesture.

I just didn't kno if declining will make him feel like I dont need him.

[Summeroflove]

Well hopefully he feels like you WANT him and need him. If he really wants to pay I guess let him.

You’re welcome I wish you both the best and I hope you find something nice for him that’s sweet