If your girl/guy wasn’t cool with someone, would you distance yourself from that person too?

[DizzyDesii]

Say its someone you know of through your girlfriend/boyfriend. The person has always been respectful to you but your significant other cannot stand them. Would you distance yourself from them too? Remain cordial at best? Still get to know them to gain your own opinion of the person? Etc?

I already know I’m petty, so like, if y'all not cool, we not cool. And thats that 😂 I’d absolutely distance myself from anyone that my dude wasn’t cool with. We’re a package deal and I take having eachother’s back very seriously. So not only do we ride together but that can include the both of us rolling out on yo azz 🤣 Like I’m watching this show and her boyfriend is pissing me off. He knows the girl was mistreated by certain people but he’s still bringing these people around her and inviting them to their events, despite him only knowing of them through her. Like its just disrespectful and the ultimate slap in the face to his partner #FeelFreeToList

Updates

1 y

So many says it depends on the reasoning but as i stated above, the person was mistreated by these people in a very bullying way and i’m sure they’d eventually detail that to you. I guess its just odd that people are already ready to still hang withh someone that they barely knew and only met through their significant other in the first place 🤷‍♀️

[Lliam]

Yes. I wouldn't make my partner or wife uncomfortable by putting her in a position of having to be around someone she didn't like.

That, of course, is based on the assumption that I respect my partner's intuition or feelings about why she doesn't like them. I mean, I wouldn't abandon friends just because some girlfriend wanted me to. But if I had high respect for my partner's brains and feelings, I would listen to her and distance myself.

When I met my wife, she had lots of girlfriends. They were her support system. She had known some of them for a long time.

When she and I became partners and I started meeting her friends, I got along real well with some. But I thought a couple of them were stupid and obnoxious. Even though I was polite, they got the idea that I didn't care for them all that much or have much respect for them.

She chose me and distanced herself from them, even though she still stayed in touch and got together with them from time to time. One girl in particular, though, told my wife that she didn't feel comfortable around me and gave her kind of an ultimatum to either keep her as a friend or get rid of me. LOL Needless to say, that was the end of their friendship.

I also had friends that my wife didn't care for. She never asked me to distance myself, but she didn't want to join me when I visited with them. Since my wife is my best friend, my friendship with those guys gradually became more and more distant.

[DizzyDesii]

This the type of bond I like to see

[Lliam]

Thanks for the MHO, Des. :-)

[Rockstarrrrr]

I love this lol... I unfriended people because of it.. I do it and expect it in return... It's nice to see someone who is as petty xD.. Although I wouldn't call it petty, I think it's just being normal and not a passive and mellow pos lol..

[DizzyDesii]

Exactly 👏

[Rockstarrrrr]

by the way... The dune part 2 trailer is out... And it looks just.. Tremendous hahaha

[DizzyDesii]

Ahhh send me the link here so I can check it. My short term memory is horrible and i won't think to check it later

[Rockstarrrrr]

Here it is...
https://youtu.be/Way9Dexny3w

[DizzyDesii]

I was 100% waiting for that big ole worm thing to make an appearance 😩🙌 it does look more action packed then the first

[DizzyDesii]

*than

[Rockstarrrrr]

Yes... It sounds like the actual dune movie... The first one was like a 3 hours trailer for it lol... Just an introduction... Probably going to be the movie of the year for me... I'm so hyped... Okay now we wait xD

[DizzyDesii]

Lol is there any films you intend to see before then? Like have you seen 65, Super Mario Bros, Shazam 2, Dungeons and Dragons or Creed 3 yet? I've only seen 65 and it was amazing. I’ll likely buy the others. I intend to see Fast X and Little Mermaid this month but Fast honestly looks disappointing and they’re making ANOTHER one after that one smh

[Rockstarrrrr]

65 is good? Nice.. I'm yet to watch it along with creed 3... Shazam 2 and fast X? Lol I'm not touching that 🤣... I just watched John wick 4 recently.. And.. It's atrocious lmao... But the equalizer 3 is coming in September... And let's just say denzel never disappoints... It just can't happen xD... Although mission impossible is on the way... So yeah with marvel movies being dogshit for a while now and most blockbusters are on the same level... Um.. Not a lot of good movies out there lol...

[DizzyDesii]

Yes 65 was a more savage jurassic park but with only 2 cast members lol. Shazam 1 surprised me. It was good when the younger guy played him bt i dont find Zachary Levi funny at all. I’ve never been a john wick fan. I liked old denzel films but couldnt get into the first Equalizer believe it or not. I’m tired of Mission Impossible but i admit, the majority of the series were good except for maybe 2 films.

[Rockstarrrrr]

Yeah, tough times for cinema we live in... Each year my expectations go lower and lower... It seems like nowadays if a movie is quite enjoyable... That's a masterpiece in my book xD

[DizzyDesii]

Heck yea!

[Rockstarrrrr]

Aquarius people are the best xD

[coachTanthony]

If she ain't down with them why in the world would I spend a minute getting to know them and decide for myself. I just don't care enough to do that. She don't like em great we don't need to hang with them.

[DizzyDesii]

Hell yes Coach! 👏

[sheenagwapa]

i would be civil with that someone if ever i come across with him/her and my SO is civil to them. i will absolutely not intentionally bring that someone to my SO, i will let my SO decide if they wanna be with these people. but if these people bullied my SO and my SO really hate them thus ignoring them i will ignore them too. thie is a tough question because of the second commandment love your neighbor so it's important that such SO is not lyinh i mean i can't imagine myself ignorinh people for you then the SO is just lyinh. yes i will ignore if that someone bullied my SO

[DizzyDesii]

Very good points

[ohsheeT]

I don't know I think in so many different ways that's so wrong but you almost have to almost every time that I have dated somebody I would always have a girl calling me or something and it's because we're friends we're really good friends nothing has ever happened between us but the girl I would be going out with and didn't like it and I didn't like that I had to make a choice because I thought that was wrong too but I mean I would do it and then I would always regret it afterwards because the friend was always there the friend was always going to be a friend and something just wouldn't work out between the girl and I I mean I understood where the girl was coming from and why she wanted me to distance her myself from her I could understand that I respect that to a point

[DizzyDesii]

This is not about your friend tho. This is someone you only met through her

[ohsheeT]

You know for me I would rather just keep the peace I know so many people and people come people go.. even to this day my true friends I don't even really see that much we communicate but that's about it haven't really gone out and done anything with any of my friends lately because of the weather so bad and just other obligations I guess but yeah it's not that big of a deal for me like I said I like being happy so I'm just going to keep the peace LOL but then I would also have to laugh at the girl I was dating because if she's not your friend why did you introduce me to her

[RavVid]

First I'd ask why is she associating with someone she doesn't like but assuming they have been good friends till now...

It has happened my girl has blown up with a BFF forever. It is one of those incomprehensible things in life that BFFs can have incredible fights call, each other very bad adjectives, text hate incessantly.

As a guy you should stay right out of this and take a peacemaker role. I speak from experience.

Cause in a day or two they'll call each other, tell each other how sorry they are, blame their periods and be BFFs forever again.

If you got into the trenches with your girl - they'll both blame you, with your girl telling you, that you unnecessarily poured lighter fluid on the fire and be angry at you doing that. The BFF will hate your guts forever and do what she can to sabotage your relationship with your girl.

The lounge room isn't big enough for you both afterwards.

[DizzyDesii]

Read what i stated underneath the main question. She does not hang around these people after they mistreated her. He met them through her but he continues to associate with them despite how they have mistreated his girl

[RavVid]

Oh ok. I'd discourage association completely and severing ties.

[Finchie40]

Yes , I wouldn’t be mean to the person but out of respect for my partner I would distance myself from them. Only when I am in a committed relationship with a girl , she becomes my number 1 priority the same way I would want her to make me her number 1 priority

[DizzyDesii]

Hell yea

[Finchie40]

Sadly Des most people don’t grasp this concept and then they wonder why their relationships fail , We don’t commit to be single , if you do , then you are best to not get into a relationship at all , and be prepared for that relationship to come to an end because when you only think of yourself when getting into a relationship with someone , you aren’t going to last long together No relationship is perfect but when you learn to make your partner your number 1 priority over everyone that’s where love grows between the both of you , yes your partner needs to do the same for you , that’s where respect comes in, if you can’t respect your partner they will not be able to respect you, Relationships are all about give and take , We can only love someone the same way we want to be loved in return , You won’t always get your way , if you have the mindset that you only want things to go your way then you are best to end that relationship cuz you only care about yourself. I will not commit to a girl that doesn’t remove selfishness for me , like she expects me to do for her , and I will not commit to a girl that doesn’t make me her priority , If she chooses friends over me , she is best to just stay with her friends cuz I will go be with mine as well and probably meet someone else along the way , whether she is cheating on me or not , she is still cheating on the relationship that she chose to be in with me , if you want me to commit you need to commit as well , it’s not control and insecurities it’s respect for each other , it’s not one sided shit , if she tells me I am being insecure and I don’t trust her , I tell her to go look in the mirror because that is the same person that told me to stay away from my friends that she didn’t like so go be with your so called friends they can have you , her so called friends that she thinks are her friends , are the same friends that tried getting with me behind her back , so yes , go prioritize them , they are such great friends ,

[Finchie40]

There is a difference between good friends and toxic friends , if your partner doesn’t like your one friend it’s more than likely because they are toxic , even though you might not see it , you are best to side with your partner and ask them what is it about that friend that you don’t like , Hear your partner out , they are more than likely telling you the truth about that person don’t just assume your partner is wrong , the only reason I told my ex that I didn’t like some of her friends was because they did try coming on to me behind her back , So friends are never my priority over my partner , I have friends that did fucked up shit behind other friends backs , which I realized I don’t want to be friends with people like that and I distance myself from them

[DizzyDesii]

Yes my aquarius brother 🤣

[Finchie40]

LOL awesome girl 😘

[FilmGuy93]

I might take a step back... really depends on the situation and how my girl is.

Just to be real with you, if my girl is the type that always runs her mouth and has a problem with everyone, I won't take her fights with people very seriously.

[DizzyDesii]

I dont see where any of that came in? I stated above that she was mistreated by these people already and he didn't seem to care and kept inviting them around despite barely knowing them

[FilmGuy93]

I was just clarifying my position. It’s tough to know what being mistreated means. So many women throw around claims that people abuse them, but when you do a little investigation, you figure out that they are being the abusive ones

[DizzyDesii]

True

[Sparkie460]

My wife has a good judge of character so she'd have a good reason for not liking someone. I would distance myself from that person also

[DizzyDesii]

Good

[Sparkie460]

She'd do the same with me

[Phoenix98]

If it's someone we just met then alright I ain't gonna get involved in drama for someone I don't know.

Now if it's someone I know then it'd depend like their reasons why, was there a misunderstanding? You know I gotta find out what's going on and why it's going on and can this situation be salvaged. Because I'm not gonna just kick people I'm close with out of my life without a good reason.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea i dont think that deep into it since im referring to someone they knew but i barely knew

[Phoenix98]

Gotcha

[JustinTheGreat]

Eh, it really depends on their reasoning. If it’s someone I don’t know and they warn me not to get close to them for whatever reason, I’d try to listen

but there was a time my husband was trying to get me to end a friendship with one of my best friends cause he’s a “bad influence” lol

Which he’s not exactly wrong, he doesn’t make the best decisions. But I’m an adult and I know better not to follow everything he does

[DizzyDesii]

Yea I got dropped for being a “bad influence” when it wasn't even about an action but more so about a thought

[MrOracle]

Unless there was a strong reason otherwise, yes, I'd distance myself from that person, because I wouldn't want to make my girl uncomfortable, and because I would trust her judgement.

[Jamie05rhs]

@MrOracle That's the difference between you and me. Because I would NOT trust her judgement. Girls can be petty for no reason whatsoever.

[ariadneR]

Yes, I trust my partner. So if he says that person is bad news, I'm stepping back

[DizzyDesii]

Right on

[JSmuve]

Depends on her reasoning for disliking the person. Some of y'all are catty as fuck and will hate on a bitch for the pettiest of reasons. And if you're catty with girls, y'all know you're gonna be bringing that drama with me too. So I'd hear her out but be giving her the side eye too in case I need to rip that chute.

[DizzyDesii]

Mmhmm

[JSmuve]

Re your update. If the reasoning is that she was bullied by this person, then ya, fuck em. I don't condone bullying and that person would get the bare minimum from me, which is only acknowledging their existence if I have to. But why would I be meeting my girlfriend's former bully through her? Why is she still in contact with them?

[DizzyDesii]

No i guess i have the question sounding ass backwards. Basically say 2021 they were cool and you met them. 2022 the tables turned and they mistreated her. 2023 she doesn't go around them at all yet you continue to still associate with them and bring them around despite how she feels

[JSmuve]

Oh ya, that's fucked, especially if they legit mistreated her. If my girl did that to me, I'd be like "do you even love me?"

[DizzyDesii]

Exactly

[sirderpsalot123]

I have had my girlfriend tell me she didn't like someone because she was convinced the girl had a problem with her. She couldn't give me a reason why she felt this way, it was just a "feeling" she had. Same thing with my sister.

If she had a valid reason for not liking them, yes. Otherwise, I'm not going to be rude to someone because of an imaginary reason she made up in her head.

[sirderpsalot123]

But I wouldn't bring anyone around her knowing it would make her uncomfortable.

[DizzyDesii]

Not fcking with em doesn't mean I’ll be rude to em. It means I distance myself entirely from them

[SunnyRS]

I would never hang with someone who mistreats my significant other or has upset her in anyway.

But if I go only based on your question not the show you talked about, it could mean an old buddy of mine whom she doesn't like for some reason, so I would still talk to them not being them together but separately I will talk.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea No im only referring to people you met through her, not the other way around

[SunnyRS]

Then no, I would not talk to them.
But why would she introduce me to someone she doesn't like?

[DizzyDesii]

She introduced you before they were not cool anymore

[SunnyRS]

Ok got it.
No I won't talk to them, and if they come near her, I will stick my leg out and trip them flat on their face.

[DizzyDesii]

😂😂

[RobT312]

I’d never want my girlfriend to be around someone she doesn’t like. I’d be sensitive to that. However if it’s a friend of mine and there’s no reason for me to cut ties, I’d be cautious. I think a natural distancing would happen

[DizzyDesii]

Of course

[bedroomeyes]

It depends on why he dislikes them. If the reason is ridiculous, I'm not going to change my tune around the person. If the reason is just, then I'll keep my distance. Sometimes people dislike others for dumb shit; I'm not being party to that.

[DizzyDesii]

Well yea i didn't mean a silly reason

[Blackcupcake]

it depends on his reasoning. I know him well enough to know he just wouldn’t dislike someone for no reason, and he’s reasonable enough to communicate his concerns

[DizzyDesii]

Okay

[DJB72]

After 20 years of marriage you know if Mama ain't happy, nobody's happy

[belle_kai]

Not necessarily. What is the reason they're not cool? What's my history with the person they don't like? It has to be valid. I would question it though and no I wouldn't choose him over them but it depends on the why's

[belle_kai]

Ah I read that wrong (I'm tired) I thought you meant if it was my friend.

Yes if I know them through my partner than most likely yes.

[DizzyDesii]

Okay

[DizzyDesii]

Oh okay lmao

[belle_kai]

Literally falling asleep 😂

[exitseven]

I had a couple of really close female friends before I met my wife. After we got married it was a source of friction between us. I sort of drifted apart from these two people who were really important in my life. I regret it now.