At some point does the ''forever childless girlfriend'' to have fun with becomes friends with benefits?

[Anonymous]

If he doesn't want nor see himself having kids with her but likes spending time with her, is supposedly ''in love'' (infatuated), calls her his girlfriend, likes going to the movies and doing other things but nothing serious... would that already be a friends with benefits by then?

A long-term, childless girlfriend he never sees a future him sounds more like a good friend to have unlimited sex with; there a friends with benefits. She would only be a girlfriend by verbal wording but what difference does it make by then?

Wouldn't she already become a friends with benefits?

Updates

10 mo

This is what I get some what I've heard in my surroundings. He keeps her as a girlfriend, oh is so much in love but just she's the one he pictures having kids with... so she isn't a real, serious girlfriend but rather a friends with benefits disguised as a girlfriend by just verbal title.

[HollyK21]

I don't know what having a child has to do with it, he’s either going to put a ring on it or not and sometimes having a kid doesn’t determine that decision. Since we’re speaking in hypotheticals though (your update sounds like this is something you’ve witnessed and not gone through personally), what if this woman doesn’t want a child? What if she doesn’t even want to get married? I mean sure she could’ve settled because to her, having some commitment is better than none, but unless it’s specifically stated then I can’t assume these are plausible factors. At least in this day and age when marriage is constantly being painted as a trap and condemned on social media.


Now if she does want all of these things, he isn’t giving it and she’s settling, that’s another story. I still wouldn’t call it friends with benefits because the essence of that connection is just an arrangement, no commitment whatsoever. You’re having fun basically, free to hook up with others aside from one another, no strings attached. I wouldn’t lessen a relationship to that degree and ultimately chop it up to preference.

[Berethor]

Make sense to not get married if she don't want child, what the point to get married?

[Asker]

I've seen a couple girls unhappy after a while of living together and no ring and he wouldn't follow with his promise of having kids within the previous established timeframe. He would continue keeping things at the forever infatuation/romance stage and the two women already wanted to proceed with the ''settling down and forming a family'' stage after years 4+ years.
Two of them had the history of good quality time spend with their bfs, go on trips together, yes everything except the ring and settling down.

[HollyK21]

@Berethor bearing a child isn’t always the focal point in choosing to get married.
@asker personally I wouldn’t be in a relationship for that long if there wasn’t marriage, but that’s because it’s an uncompromisable factor and standard in my world. Some women don’t have the same strength or even desire to leave a relationship despite wanting what her partner won’t give. As I said, they’d rather have some commitment than none at all, for better or worse. But ultimately I wouldn’t lessen their relationship to the casualty of friends with benefits. If he’s not cheating or pursuing other women and just has his own qualms or ideals of marriage/children relating to why he won’t follow through with it, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be with her at all. Doesn’t mean she isn’t wasting her time though, she should absolutely leave.

[Berethor]

@HollyK21 there is not much point in marrying if one does not want to have a child.

[HollyK21]

You’re entitled to that opinion but respectfully I disagree, there’s plenty of point to getting married with love sitting at the top of that list. You’ve got to consider other factors, like what if the woman can’t get pregnant? Does she not deserve a ring? What about those who get married outside of their childbearing years? Or the folks who simply want to be “husband and wife” not “girlfriend and boyfriend”? Even those who would rather adopt rather than bring another body into this messed up world and rescue them from our horrific foster care system? Sharing joint ventures? Having the ability to have a say in literal life or death situations which only a spouse can make? Religious reasons? Permanent support? The list is endless and it doesn’t have to start with children.

[Berethor]

Didn't a relationship is a glorified friends with benefits anyway? especially without a ring?

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/why_buy_the_cow_when_you_can_get_the_milk_for_free

[Asker]

Exactly. I feel sorry for the women that want kids already but keep kept praising their bfs, saying how great he is, how understanding he is, mentioned the trips they go to, what they gave to each last Christmas, oh the love, oh the quality time, oh the love of my life, how he gave them everything except the RING. LOL
I feel like saying ''Honey if he's giving you everything and is so much in love with you, then where is the damn ring''?
Oh he loves you so much

[Berethor]

Well Feminists tend to not want Kids anyway, Japan is going extinct because of that.

www.washingtonpost.com/.../

[Asker]

I wonder if they realize how damaging that's toward our very own biology. Do they realize we as women have limited time to have kid and if they want healthy kids, then it's really when we're still in our 20's not late 30's nor early 40's.

[Berethor]

Feminists tend to be ignorant about Woman's Fertility, thinking that they Superwomen.

https://www.yourfertility.org.au/everyone/age

[OddBeMe]

1. Have you guys discussed marriage at all? Is he open it it?
2. Do you only care about having children? It’s getting pretty widespread, childless living. Like van life.

[Asker]

This isn't about me. It's what I've been observing lately. I know 2 women in that ''forever girlfriend'' zone after 4+ years that are unhappy about it. From what I know, both of them have discussed wanting kids with their men and gave a timeframe, their men promises and promises and no action, keeps stalling them.

[Berethor]

A childless living don't really gets widespread as it don't pass the natural selection. :)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natural_selection

[OddBeMe]

@Berethor I think we could go a few gen rounds with less reproduction. Give the earth a break.

[OddBeMe]

@asker Not sure how someone gets forever gf’d unless moving beyond that requires having children. And if so, fair enough that’s your perogative. Not the guys who don’t want kids.

[Berethor]

@OddBeMe you can tell that to Africans, most of the West having too few Children.

upload.wikimedia.org/.../...iesbyfertilityrate.svg

[OddBeMe]

@Berethor (shrugs) I would like to tell all poor people to be more responsible with reproduction.

[Asker]

But that only works out if the woman on that relationship doesn't want kids ever either. Then both would be on the same page. Two of my friends are unhappy being stuck as a childless, girlfriend after 4+ years and the guy keeps making promises and promises, doesn't move forward. That's when it's not ok.

[OddBeMe]

So you’re saying it’s the guys fault their gfs won’t move on and date a guy who wants kids?

[SadisticSlxt]

Oh that's sickening lol