Relationships

Am I wrong to feel how I do?

So I'm 19 years and I have a parttime job, which pays very little. I'm currently looking for another job but alas is it hard. I split my time between home and my boyfriend's place which is in another country. At the beginning of the year I borrowed my dad a bit of mine, twice my salary now and he still hasn't paid me back. He keeps on asking me for small amounts of money and it's frustrating me. And what's more frustrating is that I had to become my boyfriend's responsibility when I was not working, he had to get me stuff and give me money, I'm basically who I am because of him, he got me my devices which I would never afford myself, paid for me to get license, took me on a 2 week vacation for my birthday, offered to help me pay for a car I wanted but I didn't want to get one so soon. Because my parents know that he can afford things, I think they always think I have money but I don't really ever ask him for money or anything. He gives me things I need. I was with him for most of June and came home on Tuesday but by Friday I was already tired. I have anxiety and I sometimes take pills when it gets worse and that's usually when I'm at home. So I complained to my boyfriend of course & he got me a flight ticket to kenya (I'm from south africa) and I'll be staying with my friend. I don't think I want to come back home for the rest of the year. But I also need advice on how to survive or look for a job there. And my parents keep saying I don't have a direction and say I should go to university but of course I would have to pay. I have done a diploma in finance accounting and my boyfriend is the one who paid for all of it. It's just so frustrating living with them.

Am I wrong to feel how I do?
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