She is Indonesian and I’m white American. She mentioned to me she doesn’t want a mixed baby but instead wants a “white daughter with blonde hair and pretty blue eyes.” She wants to name her Tiffany or Roxanne. She also mentioned she’d want a baby boy with dark hair and green eyes as my eyes are green. I didn’t really say much but was just shocked about it. I had asked her “why fully white?” She mentioned she was extremely white washed and grew up watching a lot of white movies. She grew up in the United States.
What’s your opinion on my girlfriend saying she wants white children instead of mixed ones? She wants a white surrogate mother to have our baby?
If you're not comfortable having a child with a surrogate, and only feel comfortable having it with her, tell her. She has a right to decide what happens with her body, but you have your own reproductive and emotional agency too.
Like some of the people have already said as well, the whole 'pale is better' thing really does exist in a lot of the world outside of the west, and not just in Asia. If you're firm about not wanting children if it's not with her, I think she might start feeling more confident about herself. But it's ultimately not a decision you can make for her, just one you can show her isn't something to be ashamed or self-conscious about.
Mr Annon , dont worry about it , completely standard practise in many parts of Asia , extremely common , Thailand and Indonesia are similar , in essence the darker the skin the lower the class , dark skin means " farmer girl " , why do you think all that skin cream sht sells so well? Just go along with it , little tongue in cheek , she is not stupid , just stating the obvious , exactly the same happens in Thailand everyday , and I see , hear it referred to every day. Just take it for what it is a " wish " tell her ,
" Well baby , you are lucky you are with me , I have the super white gene , our kids will be stunning " , by the by , half cast kids do look incredible , see so many. Good Luck.
Even if she goes down this path, there is absolutely no guarantee she will get what she wants. I wanted my baby to have blue eyes, while she was born with blue eyes, her eyes have now changed to brown. I was born with blonde hair and had blonde hair until I was 16. My baby was born with dark hair. 2 of my cousins. Both parents have natural blonde hair, but their 2 kids were both born with red hair. My baby is half Fijian and while she was born with brown skin, as she is getting older, she is looking more and more white
It comes down to genetics. It's sad that your girlfriend was white washed and can't see beauty in her own ethnic
I am sorry to be harsh but your I get an impression that your girlfriend doesn’t seem to love you, she wants to breed you like a farm and not even use her own body. She has this idealized view of whiteness and wants to somehow fit in.
Now if that’s what you are into yeah, but is that really attractive to you?
When a woman loves you, at some point at a certain age she starts wanting to have your children, because she loves you, she starts wanting to carry your children within herself, to forever intertwine your roads and make a chance to create something that will make your love immortal, in a way that you both give the gens to children and these genes will most likely at least partially live together in thousands and hundreds of thousands of other humans after you. She will always be the part of you and you will always be the part of her.
She might be too young but if she keeps having these thoughts maybe you need to talk to her and reassure her that she is Indonesian and she is beautiful and you would be the happiest man in the world to have her children.
Sounds like she’d be better off adopting children. Using a surrogate doesn’t guarantee the exact hair and eye combinations that she wants. That would be up to genetics. Especially since her brown eyes would be dominant over any genes for blue or green. She could end up being very disappointed!
It's an Asian thing. I've heard crazier from there. Just tell her it's not happening that way and everything will be fine. If you haven't been to Indonesia yet, you should go with her. You need to know the culture to date an Asian woman
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