I have been crying for the past hour about what's happened. It's probably nothing, but then again, I don't think it is.
I have been with my boyfriend for 9 months now. I've loved him for nearly five years. Overall, we are very happy together, and I love him to death.
However, throughout our relationship, there has been this girl who is his friends girlfriend. We never got along. She would flirt with my boyfriend in person in front of me and on messages, while being hostile towards me. She works at mcdonalds and threatened to spit in my drink next time i go there. My boyfriend and I went camping a few months ago, and she was sending him kisses, and I stupidly removed her from his phone. And I did that again a few months later. It was a stupid thing for me to do, but I finally communicated with him, and he said he'd be friends with her on Facebook but wouldn't add her again on snapchat. Since then, we have never been better.
Now, onto his friend. He's not a very nice person. I've been warned by multiple of my boyfriends friends and also friends of my own. He gets upset randomly and then tells us all to f off, etc. So I'm not very fond of him. Bit if he wants to be friends with him, then that's up to him.
So an hour ago I snapped my boyfriend, realising he's at his friends girlfriends house. And I broke down and had a full blow panic attack. The thought of him being with her literally sickens me. My dad calmed me down and explained to me that I needed to talk to him and find out if he's added her again. And if so, question our relationship. And I will, but the wait is horrible. I feel physically sick. I really want to know now, but he's asleep. I'm going over to his early tomorrow to clean his room and bring him his favourite biscuits. But I don't think I can face him, even if I have to. I know I have made mistakes with the situation, but too late to change them now. Any advice would he greatly appreciated.
I have been with my boyfriend for 9 months now. I've loved him for nearly five years. Overall, we are very happy together, and I love him to death.
However, throughout our relationship, there has been this girl who is his friends girlfriend. We never got along. She would flirt with my boyfriend in person in front of me and on messages, while being hostile towards me. She works at mcdonalds and threatened to spit in my drink next time i go there. My boyfriend and I went camping a few months ago, and she was sending him kisses, and I stupidly removed her from his phone. And I did that again a few months later. It was a stupid thing for me to do, but I finally communicated with him, and he said he'd be friends with her on Facebook but wouldn't add her again on snapchat. Since then, we have never been better.
Now, onto his friend. He's not a very nice person. I've been warned by multiple of my boyfriends friends and also friends of my own. He gets upset randomly and then tells us all to f off, etc. So I'm not very fond of him. Bit if he wants to be friends with him, then that's up to him.
So an hour ago I snapped my boyfriend, realising he's at his friends girlfriends house. And I broke down and had a full blow panic attack. The thought of him being with her literally sickens me. My dad calmed me down and explained to me that I needed to talk to him and find out if he's added her again. And if so, question our relationship. And I will, but the wait is horrible. I feel physically sick. I really want to know now, but he's asleep. I'm going over to his early tomorrow to clean his room and bring him his favourite biscuits. But I don't think I can face him, even if I have to. I know I have made mistakes with the situation, but too late to change them now. Any advice would he greatly appreciated.
What Girls Said
I was in that situation with the boyfriend before the one I’m with now, and all I can really say is to protect your peace at all costs. Like sure you can talk to him, but then what? Clearly the last talk didn’t fully suffice since he’s at her house, he’s not going to cut ties with them, and I think it will always be problematic in your relationship since you can’t flat out say “I’d rather you not talk to her” without looking like you’re controlling him. If your relationship is good for the most part, my biggest suggestion is to separate yourself from his friends. Don’t hang out with them, see him on your own time. But I feel like that would upset you too because then you’ll feel left out and anxious not being there to keep tabs. It just becomes too much and after a point you’re better off without it all.
Thank you for replying. That's what I was thinking. His friend has been badgering him for months to hang out, so I knew it was going to happen one way or another. He wants to keep the peace for his friend group, which I understand. But yeah, it's really hurtful. I think I'll ask him where he was. And see if he's added her back. If he has, I think I might leave and try to walk home. It's all getting too much. Thanks so much for replying ❤️
That’s what makes it hard, like trying to be understanding of his friendships even when you don’t agree, but then as a result you suffer in silence. I butted heads so often with my ex’s female friend, she even “accidentally” spilled her drink on me one night and things like that are just too much. I hope you’re able to find a solution to this issue that brings you peace of mind, but if worse comes to worst, don’t hesitate to leave. I personally held on at the very end because I didn’t want her to win. I could imagine all the shit she’d talk about me, probably post them on social media and make my life hell. Still, your peace of mind has to come first, like that’s your mental health, that’s how you function in life. No man is worth such a hefty sacrifice.