I don't know what to do here. My husband got himself a dog 3 years ago and he absolutely developed a trauma bond with the dog (he got the dog just a week prior to finding out his best friend/brother would be in prison for the next 29 years). It became very unhealthy, very quickly. I mean, to a point where he said one of us would need to quit our jobs to be home with the dog full time because he didn't want to leave her alone. When I refused, he started bringing the dog to work with him and leaving her in the weather controlled vehicle and just checked on her periodically throughout the day. We stopped going on date nights because he didn't want to leave the dog home. He ruined multiple family events because he insisted on bringing the dog to "no dog" areas and getting us and the kids kicked out. He did get better over time but barely.
Well, we became homeless in March. The owner of the property passed and his kids sold the home- the new owners wanted us out. We had exactly 7 days to find somewhere to go and since we couldn't, we have been rooming with his sister, her husband and their kid (we are in a camper on their property). He literally works 60+ hours a week now. No daycares in the area have vacancy so I'm not home full time with the kids. We have enough money saved for a rental (money was never an issue, but vacancy 100% is) but every single place available on the market right now has a very strict "no pets" policy. I got rid of my cats (gave them to family) so we could have less to worry about but he outright refuses to give his dog away to the person who has been boarding her since March. He sees her MAYBE once a week for less than an hour. Generally speaking, he sees his dog just long enough to bring her outside for 15 minutes and then he puts her back inside and comes home (we can't have the dog here per SILs lease). We need a home and he refuses to go for anything available due to the no pets policy, despite never seeing his dog anyhow.
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This is a rough situation. I don't blame your husband or the dog. (Although I agree that your husband does have an unhealthy attachment.)
I think the main problem here is the broader societal issue of having a lot of dogs and a lot of people that love dogs but not enough places for them to live.
Oh the good old.. "a boy and his dog" bond..
Are u thinking of separating?😬
I'm honestly not sure. It's crossed my mind but only because he's willing to keep us homeless, in favor of a dog he literally never sees. You know? I love him, absolutely. But like.. my kids need a roof over their head and deserve more than a camper and I don't feel I can achieve that as long as my husband says no to everything available because his dog can't come.
Like, I'm literally not even joking when I say he sees her maybe once a week for 15 minutes. He doesn't talk about her, he doesn't make plans to bring the dog anywhere with him, he essentially has forgotten the dog even exists UNTIL it comes to getting us in to a house. At that point it's all "nope, can't go there cause the dog can't come".
"For better or worse till death do us aprat.."
Its a phase it'll pass. Men say No. foe a reason its our primary job.. just talk don't argue.
I don't argue with him on it. It feels selfish of me to even bring it up to him because I know deep down he does love the dog a great deal. It's just so frustrating to blindly follow when everything is falling apart. I mean, we have been in this camper since March. No electricity, no running water (we have to go to his sister's actual house to bathe and cook) so me and the kids are just always hungry and sweating because it's 90+° every day and the camper turns in to a wood stove it feels like. So I'm slowly losing that trust that I built in him to have it all handled like he said he does. He's gone all day so he doesn't see how bad it is here or how much I am at my wits end (so are the kids). So ultimately it just feels like he is choosing a dog over us, which is just such a turn off to me. The dog is in a nice home with a huge yard and an A/C, being spoiled, and me and the kids are just stuck here suffering day in and day out.
poor poo dog
The dog is living her best life. Giant yard, A/C, spoiled rotten by the person who has had her since March. My kids and I are in a hot camper with no electric or running water. "Poor dog" is not even close to what this is.