Is it a red flag that I always text first?

[lilluvsu]

[Finchie40]

Yes it is , if the other person doesn’t put the same effort or equivalent to you , then that can be a clear sign that they only like the convenience of you , One thing I learned about relationships through the years, is to never be a convenience to someone , you should always be their top priority just like you make them yours , it won’t always be perfect but it won’t be imperfect for long if someone truly values you , when you are no longer a top priority to someone in a relationship , then they are just stringing you along and weighing
Their options or they are already investing their time into someone else or they are already cheating on you , Never settle for someone that no longer prioritizes you and treats you like a convenience, when a girl starts treating me like a convenience, I do the same back to her, I will express my feelings of concern while I have one foot out the door , if nothing changes I am out. Life is too short the be holding on to someone that doesn’t make you their top priority.

[lilluvsu]

You are so right. Thank you sm!!!

[Finchie40]

No problem, sadly this shit occurs a lot , why I no longer jump onto relationships with girls’ Most girls’ I have dated were selfish people that only cared about themselves , that only wanted things to go their way , that overstepped boundaries but expect you not to over step boundaries to them , So I realized for me to stop continuing on these failed relationships and having my heart shit on , I learned to only give what I want to receive, if I feel I am constantly giving without receiving , my ass is on my way out the door and realize she means nothing to me anymore , basically that you for a good time , but not a long time

[lilluvsu]

I totally understand. Unfortunately I've been with some awful awful guys. Like you described the girls, the guys acted the same. It feels lik everybody is fucked up. They literally dont give a shit

[Finchie40]

I feel social media played a big part on damaging relationships bully filling people’s heads with nonsense , so it’s best to look for someone that knows what it means to remove selfishness in a relationship , Most relationships fail because most people in general are selfish people , the only way love can grow and a relationship can last is of both partners choose to remove selfishness for each other , make each other their top priority , resist temptations for each other , and understand you can’t always be right and they are wrong. When you find someone like that , try to hold on to them at all costs , cuz sadly it’s hard to come by , especially these days

[Dinn3r]

Great question, I think most of us could relate to this. No it is not. Some people are just bad at texting or do not enjoy texting. Also sometimes people get use to following or being texted first and that becomes the normal.

Honestly it’s not shameful to want to be texted first, and sometimes you may have to communicate that to the other person with out feeling ashamed.

“Like hey man, why am I always texting you first? It would be really cool if you text me first sometimes :)”

hopefully communicating this can allow your relationship to grow, just make sure to do it in caring way that makes you feel heard without upsetting or punishing the other person. Good luck!

[SakuraBlossoms87]

No not really.

I mean if your guy is an achieve little who doesn't have a good job, sure it's a red flag. He's got nothing better to do except play on social media and his cell phone.

If your guy has amounted to something in life, has a good demanding job, then no it's not a red flag. He is busy. He has a dozen or so other work-related things to do.

There's also the fact that men who are insecure, etc. are going to want you to text first. So no it isn't a red flag without more context.

More than likely it means nothing & you're just overthinking nothing.

[Screenwriter]

Though I agree in general with Finchie, I'd say after how long a time, and if after your text there's no RESPONSE, call it a day. If it's been less than a week and you text, I don't think that's bad. However, if after your text there's crickets, then don't text any more.

People are busy. Some aren't great texters. That's why I'd say a text is fine. But if there's never anything but your texting, this person is lazy or doesn't care. Either way, why invest yourself in them?

[Pinay_ako]

It’s not a red flag. He’s just not into you.

[Sonorous]

This is one that's entirely subjective for us to define. Just depends on your preference.

[Alli39]

Kinda. Like, if he (I'm assuming) literally will never text you unless you text first then he's probably not putting any emotional effort into the relationship. That's a "discuss it in case it's a misunderstanding/nervousness thing and then dip" thing for me. It's possible he just doesn't realize he's doing it, but it still shouldn't be happening in a relationship/friendship.

[Lionman95]

No only if he seems bored when answering your texts or it looks only you invest in conversations and actions and he just reacts. Because that would be a sign that he´s not interested in you or he´s not ready for relationship in a way that he´s not ready to invest and take the responsibility.

[JHNS98]

Doesn't have to be. Talk to your boyfriend and tell him that you want him to take some initiative. Maybe say something like, "Hey, I really enjoy talking to you. I was wondering if you maybe could text me first one day?"

You can replace"one day" with something else if it feels too open, but "tomorrow" feels too definite - and almost like a demand - to me.

[Sorrento-Sun]

It could mean he's indifferent towards you, and only responding out of politeness.

Stop initiating contact to see if he reaches out to you. If he doesn't, then you know for sure he just isn't interested in you.

[Iron_Man]

Test the waters. Let him text first for a while

[lilluvsu]

thank you!!

[Iron_Man]

You’re welcome

[AmeerX]

That is a red flag. I did the same mistake until I realized it. It should be nearly equal messages.

[lilluvsu]

thank you!!

[AmeerX]

How long do you know this guy? Because if it's new and he is doing this then definitely he is not interested in you. He wants you to beg him for his time. That's a stupid thing both boys and girls do to make people feel desperate

[lilluvsu]

I've known him for 3 months.

[AmeerX]

He is definitely making you do all the work

[Killsey]

It could be seen as one. Most likely, it is. The only exception is him being a very shy person.

[sheikalana]

I don't see at as a red flag but if you feel that you're putting too much effort into it and you don't see any effort for the other person I would consider where we stand.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I have a friend who text me first, but I like to be a gentlemen and not sound pushy to her. If she wants me to text her first, I would be more than happy to do that for her.

[natedawg0620]

If you’re counting how many times you’ve texted someone first or how many times someone else texted first, just end it. You’re already looking for a way out

[strawberriez]

“You’re already looking for a way out” wow! This changed my whole perspective

[luvstoned4him]

Yes , seems like you are more interested in them than they are in you

[Sarahr123]

I’ve never reached out to any boy first or arranged meetings with any man

[AndLikeThatHesGone]

Maybe he's just not a texter.

Some people, especially guys, don't enjoy small talk, or don't see a point to it.

[Anonymous]

You would enjoy life more if you stopped making everything someone does into a "red flag."

[Throwawaynowknow]

I rarely see guys on phones at work yet I see girls checking status updates all the time, non stop. I think guys just busy

[Coden7]

It’s fine. I like it when I’m texted first. Just as long as it’s not constantly

[Anonymous]

All texts are a red flag. It shows a total inability to communicate properly.

[shades777]

its a green flag because you be turned off if he texted first

[Sabretooth]

No. Texting has become a stupid game. Men are taught to wait.

[Anonymous]

No but it’d make you look desperate, not exciting and mysterious. Most likely will put him off

[boobliker]

We, men, do need a poke to remind us.

[lilluvsu]

thank you!!

[boobliker]

he may not beable to reply at work as in class.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

It’s not a red flag but maybe a yellow one.

[Reem12345reem]

he's just not interested

[Viktor001]

It's completely fine, so no.

[Massageman]

Yes. "Two way street, it should be, " says Yoda.

[Subflics]

If it bothers you communicate it. Ffs

[Twalli]

Not really, guys generally aren't big texters

[OddBeMe]

But eager. Slow it down a little

[justabuddy]

Eh... just don't text too often.

[serious]

No, of course not.

[Thedarkmooprince9]

I think it might be if it's all the time

[007kingifrit]

no it's really nice and appreciated

[Grovermint]

No...

[Jmmmfi4]

I would love that

[In_Trance]

No it's not

[Minaisconfused]

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Yes.