It is bad that sobriety is making me think I want to divorce my wife?

[Anonymous]

I used to be an alcoholic. Quit three months ago, and now the more I go on the more I realize I don't love my wife.

[Mamaliv]

Are you involved in AA or are you doing it on your own? I do believe that it is suggested to not date or leave any one in your first year of sobriety. by the way congratulations on three months!!! You a relearning who you are, give it time and don’t jump on anything until you are absolutely sure it is what you want to do.

[Asker]

Thank you, I'm doing it on my own.
I'm starting a new career too and I'm happy but I the more I go on the more I realize I don't love my wife and we both deserve better than each other.

[Mamaliv]

Well I can tell you from personal experience that AA can be a really great support. I spent years married to a man I never truly loved, leaving him is the best decision I ever made. It had nothing to do with sobriety tho. Just really think things through your mind and body are still healing ❤️‍🩹 but you do deserve to have happiness and she deserves to be with someone who really loves her.

[Asker]

I understand, yes I think that some marriages can end not because there are arguments or hate but simply because there's no love.

She's staying with her mother now and of course she wasn't happy when I told her, but she seems understanding too.

[Anonymous]

I’m not one to immediately support divorce. What has lead you to lose love for your wife? Is she also a drinker? Is she an enabler? Has she ever said or done anything that would be cause for concern?

[Asker]

She's an enabler: she was concerned but many times she gave me drinks even if I didn't ask them.
She doesn't want for our lives to go on, she wanted us to stay the way we were and said I was being too ambitious for my own good.

[Grovermint]

Well, you could try working through it with her, consoling, and other methods. If that fail, seek a divorce. If you're not happy and there isn't a way to fix it, do the best you can do for yourself. Congratulations on being sober.

[Asker]

Thank you.
I feel it would be a waste of time to try and work it out, I want to rip off the band aid.

[Grovermint]

Then, do it.

[Asker]

Will do.
She's staying with her mother now and of course she wasn't happy when I told her, but she seems understanding too.

[sheikalana]

Sobriety is making you see things you couldn't see before. If you used to love her is very possible to rekindle that love.

[slatyb]

It's not unusual. Is she also an alcoholic?

[Asker]

No, she's not and she's very happy that I quit.
Less happy that now I want to separate, of course.

[jahaims]

You were an alcoholic for a reason