My boyfriend admitted to me that in one of the arguments we had a long time ago I was right about my assumption that he didn’t love me. He had been saying it and then he just suddenly stopped. When I asked him if he didn’t actually love me he told me at the time that I was jumping to conclusions and acting paranoid. But last night he admitted that I was actually right. Sadly I’m familiar with this kind interaction. One of my best friends ghosted me when I was 20 and she never told me why. I knew I didn’t do anything and had been a good friend but a mutual friend of ours finally admitted to me years later that the reason my best friend had ghosted me was because she had been talking about me behind my back in a way that gave them the impression that she was jealous of me. Additionally, My first boyfriend also ghosted me. It hurt deeply because I tried to give him an out, or present him an opportunity to safely admit to having lost feelings and he just never would admit it. He never told me that his feelings were gone or even communicated what any of his problems were in the relationship. But there were signs that he had lost feelings for me. It was my first relationship so I didn’t know how to recognize the signs at the time but I certainly do now. And my current partner has shown me signs. But as I was saying we were discussing an argument from Back then and he said that he liked me but it was unfair to keep saying he loved me if it wasn’t true. I told him that I wasn’t mad that he wasn’t sure about his feelings because it was new and I didn’t intend to pressure him into anything. I guess he may have felt guilty since HE pursued ME so heavily and when I gave him a chance he couldn’t reciprocate my real feelings. But that’s life. It only made me mad that he pretended to love me or like me but refused to admit it. It would trigger the trauma I experienced in the past from being led on and lied to so much. So I’m curious why is this happening to me?
Why do people lie to me about loving me even when I confront them?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
If you question everyone's feelings about you it will put people off. It sounds like you constant reessurance in your relationships which is an absolute beating to deal with. It keeps happening If you question everyone's feelings about you it will put people off. It sounds like you constant reessurance in your relationships which is an absolute beating to deal with. It keeps happening because you are high maintenance and people don't like their feelings being questioned.
I ask questions when I notice signs like withdrawing affection, being distant, signs of cheating, acting suspicious. The friends that I have right now have never had to deal with me asking them questions like this because they haven’t given me reasons to feel like there is an inconsistency. And I always turned out to be right but the people I questioned wouldn’t admit it. If they felt offput by me asking for reassurance why not admit that instead of pretending that everything was fine.
Okay, I really doubt you are always right about people in that capacity but whatever.
Unfortunately this is something that's common in our society Mila but I believe maybe it's still possible to fix things with him and maybe he can grow stronger emotions for you, or you can let it go and start with someone else, I do recommend some closure tho before ending things completely and maybe be more open to other type of men that are maybe outside of your original type, it's possible the results can be from the same type of men you are chasing.