How can I not let the pain of failure consume me?

[Anonymous]

For so long I hoped for a girlfriend and I finally got one when I was 29 serious communication issues ultimately caused the relationship to fail it led to arguments. She didn’t understand my disability often saying I was making excuses when I said I couldn’t do something because I’m on the autism spectrum or calling me names if I did something. For example I would pick my fingers and she started calling me salad fingers. Or she would make fun of my ocd because I have to stand at a sink for 6 minutes cleaning a cup cause my brain is telling me it’s not clean or anxiety. She broke up at the start of the year with me because there were plans to go to New York for New Year’s Eve but the more my brain processed it was like nope this isn’t a good idea so I told her my anxiety is spiking thinking about being around millions of people and that wasn’t good enough for her she twisted into I was making it about myself and letting other people down.

[adidas0169]

We all fail at doing something doesn't mean your a failure. its a life lesson. i know it's hard to look pass it but you need to for yourself and so instead of letting it defeat you and you need to consume it and learn from it. sounds like she was a cruel person no one deserves to be treated that way. dont look at your disabilities as a reason to hold you back but instead look at them as they make you different and unique which is a very good thing. they set you apart from let of the blah world and the right girl/woman will notice them and won't care and will treat you how you deserve. so keep your head up and stop beating yourself up over a cruel bitch she's not worth it.

[Anonymous]

Not a failure, you had a girlfriend and have now been in a relationship. Many relationships break down and your choice does not sound like the best person.

You'll need a patient, kind and understanding partner. Didn't sound like she was from what your wrote.

Not sure how common it is to call autism a disability. Most would frame it as a character trait or mental configuration

[genericname85]

by considering a "failure" as an necessary step that you have to take on your way to success. so in other words as long as you're failing, you're on your way to success.

[KrakenAttackin]

You did not fail, you simply had the wrong girl. A solid relationship begins with acceptance of each other and she clearly did not accept you for who you are.