If anyone has to do a loyalty test, isn't that a sign your relationship sucks?

[Vesuvius87]

There were a couple videos on youtube about people doing a loyalty test to see if their boyfriend or girlfriend has character to cheat.

If you even have to do a loyalty test wouldn't that mean you shouldn't even be in that relationship? I find that too much drama and nonsense. I wouldn't waste energy, money nor time on a set-ups. If that was done on me and he's just a boyfriend (not even a fiance), I'm leaving.

Updates

8 mo

Personally I won't even bother going through that drama and BS set-ups on someone I'm just dating.

[MrOracle]

Yes, it's toxic, and it also is lazy, both intellectually and physically.

You ABSOLUTELY should vet any potential partner, and you should be selecting partners PRIMARILY based on their morals, values, and life-goals, NOT on their looks or how they make you FEEL, because your feelings are unreliable, change quickly, and have no trouble betraying you.

It's also NOT difficult to figure out what a person's morals and values are. Sure, anyone can fake it for a couple of months, but much longer than that, and their true self is going to be revealed. And most people will come right out and TELL YOU what their morals and values are if you just ask them related questions.

Using these "shit tests" is absolutely toxic behavior, and would be the end of that relationship for me. I'm a grown man - come and TALK to me DIRECTLY. I can handle it, I assure you. Don't hint, don't beat around the bush - SAY IT, loud and clear, and then we can talk about it.

If you can't communicate honestly and directly with a partner or potential partner, why in the world would you think it's a good idea to be in a relationship with them? You're just setting yourself up for disaster!

[Vesuvius87]

yeah I wish I would've done the vetting process at a younger age. It took me a while to realize that.

[D_Bone_Steak]

I would go so far as to say that the one doing the testing has cheating on their brain. I would guess them a cheater themselves that projects their own impulses to cheat onto their partner, or they're one of those obsessed with catching their partner cheating.

[Sonorous]

If they feel like they have to then it's not a good sign. Definitely not one reflective of a stable long-term relationship.

[Unit1]

I'm not gonna say that I want to conduct such a test. But wouldn't anyone monogamous like to have their partner confirm their faithfulness and not jump ship at the next moment they encounter a Lamborghini driver or a supermodel that is not making their living as a sex worker?

[Vesuvius87]

Isn't being faithful in a relationship already a given? I shouldn't even have to remind them not to cheat and that I'll break up if they do. That's like the bare minimum of respect. It's like the equivalent of boiling water or heating a plastic Ramen noodle soup on a microwave even a kid can do... the bare minimum.

[Vesuvius87]

**Ramen cup noodle soup

[Unit1]

No, a cheater will only add us to the list of who they see or have sex with. They don't care.

[talka20]

i don think they do cuz of that... they do cuz of trend, views, earning... and its investment that they do to buy the test machine n make long video and many reels w it

most of the couples on youtube do videos n spend money (as investment) cuz its on trending and a lot of stuff is fake/set up/scripted anyway but tbey still do cuz every other channel is doing🤦🏽‍♂️ like pranks, try hauls, certain challenges, etc

[talka20]

like you cover multiple platform with one product n one video... youtube shorts, youtube long video, insta reels, tiktok, facebook etc

[Unit1]

People want to watch it. They are delivering the content people ask for.
And some even believe it.
I can't tell which is staged and which is not. Even the opposite case "she's not a gold digger" is impossible for me to distinguish. Because like I said in the first 2 sentences.

[ArrowheadSW]

I agree it is too much drama and nonsense. I only had one girlfriend who pulled that stuff on me and that was when I was still in my twenties. I was all dumb stuff. The relationship ended quickly.

[Vesuvius87]

It's more common for that to happen when we're all in our 20's. If the relationship ended quickly, then it's for the best.

[ArrowheadSW]

Agreed!

[LiamJHayden]

After I passed the test I would immediately dump her.

[Vesuvius87]

Agree. No one should be dealing with that type of drama.

[inhua]

the phone swap loyalty tests are much better. when someone has nothing to hide, they agree to the test, when someone has something to hide, they hesitate

[Vesuvius87]

If we aren't even living together nor sharing assets I would be wondering why he even needs to check my phone and why would I need his phone?

[inhua]

the phone swap loyalty test is conducted on the streets by somebody else namely YouTubers. there's YouTube videos on this where a random couple is approached and asked to participate in the test

[Vesuvius87]

I've heard of that one day. I'll only participate and allow this to go publically if I'm going to earn a reward (ex: a gift card to a restaurant) for that day.

[worldscolide]

It only proves that they are too immature to be dating in the first place, and is essentially unworthy of respect.

[worldscolide]

I shared a my take about this

[RavVid]

well either the relationship sucks or they suck or YOU suck. I'd go with the person initiating the fidelity test being the one who sucks most.

[Wonderingguyy]

Yeah I mean if you had to do a test, that means you are questioning the level of loyalty in the relationship. That isn’t good

[Nikki1989]

Yes, that is a terrible way to kick off a relationship.

[na123345]

You sure

[JohnK123]

I guess or it’s a fun thing to do I don't know

[Anonymous]

Preach sister!

[rebeliouse]

what the hell is a loyalty test?

[Vesuvius87]

That means doing pathetic set ups (ex: trying to get a friend to hit on your partner and see if they take the bait) to test if they can be trusted.

[rebeliouse]

ah like catfishing?

[rebeliouse]

do u do dm chats?

[Vesuvius87]

Yes.. things like that. Dm chat, ok.. sure.

[rebeliouse]

dm me?

[Vesuvius87]

Ok..

[EaterPeter]

They suck almost always

[Vesuvius87]

It's unbelievable how so many people waste so much energy on that, on someone they're just dating, lol.

[EaterPeter]

Lol.

[na123345]

Please sometimes we have to do it

[gothbxtch]

yes it is