Do you believe in letting go of the past?

[Juicyred921]

Do you feel people in your life should have a second chance? If they acknowledge there mistakes and are actively working on themselves, would you be willing to forgive and let the past be the past?

Updates

+1 y

I do believe in forgiveness. But it’s not always for the benefit of the person who wronged you. I believe forgiveness is for your own benefit. When you can’t forgive, all that anger and pain festers and spreads inside you. Like a disease. Until all that negativity consumes you. It’s not even necessary to tell that person you’ve forgiven them. I have had a lot of people and a lot of unfortunate things that happened that I needed to forgive. It’s not easy by no means, but it helped me move on.

[caring__1]

When it comes to past experiences, we want to bring the knowledge forward and leave the pain in the past. Holding onto pain will only end up punishing you for the actions of others.

I wouldn't trust a person has changed, based only on their word. I'd need to see a new pattern of behavior that is consistent over time. The more people insist they've changed, the less likely I am to believe them. When I observe a consistent pattern they aren't drawing attention to, I am willing to consider giving it another shot. That doesn't mean I'll automatically jump back into a relationship with this person, as the likelihood of past patterns reemerging is high, especially when they haven't found replacements to address whatever needs were met by those old patterns.

We generally won't hold it against them if they had messy diapers as a baby or failed a spelling test in the second grade, but we'll pay attention to their past patterns of dealing with stress or disappointment. The longer the patterns have existed, the greater the likelihood those patterns could return. I'd want to know what alternative patterns are being used to address those challenges and how they are working for the individual. We're more likely to maintain new patterns we find to be helpful or functional. If we see the new patterns as a chore, we're less likely to hold onto them long-term.

[OlderAndWiser]

I have given a few people a second chance. Most of them failed the second time around, but not all of them. But I don't think you should give an ex a second chance at a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Depends on what they did. Some things I can never forgive. I will never forgive the boy who raped me, I will never forgive the girl who molested me, I will never forgive the man who assaulted me, and I will never forgive the people who made my life hell and made me try to kill myself. Severe things like that, I can’t forgive.

[Juicyred921]

I am truly sorry for what you’ve been through. And I completely understand not forgiving for those extremely horrible situations. You are a very strong and beautiful person.

[Sweetsurprize]

You have NO choice but to let the past go. You cannot turn back the time and redo or undo or actually DO things.

[AviatorTom]

I believe that the past should stay in the past. If someone wants to do something in the present, let them... I may pay attention, or I might ignore them. You never know until it happens.

[DopeTurtle]

Yes, I believe in forgiving but forgetting? Nope.


It’s not because I’m not able to move past things but because people aren’t able to just change habits/ lifestyles overnight. I don’t judge people on their worst day but I judge them on how they move every day after it

[ProbablyClueless]

Very much so! Unless the transgression was so serious that it put my life/career/significant relationship in jeopardy, I can generally look past things after some time has passed.

[Andres77]

Only if you learned the lesson that the past tried to teach you

[SPIRIT208]

No, remember it, learn from mistakes, and carry on, be tough

[RingOfFire]

I find that the hard part isn't letting go of the past, it's having the past let go of you.

[MemeSupreme]

ehhh ideally sure BUT i am not that person lol i

[Alex8736]

100% what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger and wiser

[jammcm]

I have a problem with believing that people can really change. Most people fall back into their old self.

[Bklynbadboy12]

I do believe in letting go of the past and I also believe people should get a second chance but that depends on what they've done cause some things you just can't come back from

[inhua]

people who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it

[exitseven]

I try not to. Having all that anger inside keeps me from making the same mistake twice.

[Darkest-Knight]

If you have wronged me you don't get a second chance.

[Anonymous]

Yes is letting go of the past. No to giving people a second chance.

[dudeinohio]

Nope. Move forward. Never backwards.

[Shamalien]

When appropriate

[msc545]

No. Been there and done that.

[Kelly6]

Yes.

[eagle1951]

No I don't